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DS wanted me to check if I am being mean

(26 Posts)

If your children are capable of doing the following....
get their own drink
get something out of fruit bowl to eat
walk down to bedroom to collect a wanted item
put a cd or dvd on
do you expect them to or do you do it for them?
I am happy to pour ds a drink if I am in the kitchen and ditto any of the other things if I am actually close to said item then I haven't got a problem with doing it.
Currently (keep in mind ds does have some special needs but as I said he is completely capable of doing all of the above) ds will holler for me to come to him and then demand I do something like those on the list. "MMMUUUUMMM!!! (I am at other end of house) I walk up the hallway and say "Yes DS" "Drink". "Yes, Ds you can have a drink" "You get it" "You are able to get it DS "MASSIVE MELTDOWN..."You are right there, other parents do things for their children, it's not fair, I'm thirsty, PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

So are my expectations too high or are his?
I do know that at times he gets overwhelmed which is why I am asking but getting me to do things for him is his default setting so hard to know when he is all tapped out and can't perceive his own ability to do it or when he is just milking it.

I will list this in Special Needs as well but wanted a range of opinions.

sazale Tue 01-Jan-13 19:18:31

He is the only child I have ever heard say "It's not fair that I have to walk when DSIS has a wheelchair".

That is exactly the sort of thing my dd would say!! My mum has really bad osteo arthritis and has just had a knee replacement. Whilst out with my dd she refused to walk (as she always does) and said to my Mum that my Mum could only walk further than her as she had a walking stick!! Mum ended up giving her the walking stick so that she would walk!!

DD does have muscle tone/hypermobilty problems with her legs and feet that does cause discomfort but tied in with demand avoidance and SPD any outing is a nightmare. In fact she's that bad that we recently got awarded HRM!!

Keepon, I think you raise some valid points there and I think with dd some of it is demand avoidance, some of it is failing to plan for it, some is teen laziness and some is not wanting to grow up.

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