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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

SN children

hello im new my son has asperger comorbid adhd

20 replies

suedenley · 12/04/2006 15:50

im sue my middle son tommy has asperger comorbid adhd he is 10 i seem to be bashing my head against a brick wall as far as his school is concerned another meeting with the head,senco on first day of term im taking his key worker with me but has anyone any advice on how to get them to realise i actually know what im talking about rather than just an overprotective mother that wants preferential treatment for her son he is getting increasingly depressed and says hes going to kill himself rather than go back there ive promised to make it ok but without the school backing me i dont know how im going to make it better they wont support me in applyin for a statement so im also going that alone

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NotanOVERDRAFTdodger · 12/04/2006 15:52

I know absolutely nothing about SN, hopefully someone will be along to help you out on that score.

If that is your real name and you don't want people in real life RL to know you are on MN, I would suggest you might like to change it.

Socci · 12/04/2006 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winnie · 12/04/2006 16:05

Hi Sue, I am sorry I don't have any advice but I am sure someone with experience in SN will have. It is so sad to read that your little boy is so unhappy he says he is going to kill himself. How awful for the both of you :( welcome to MN :)

PutAPeachyInYourSimnelCake · 12/04/2006 16:06

Hi

I have a son with AS who is six and am in exactly the situation you are i with the school (sigh).

There's a website called ipsea that should hekp with statementing (haven't used it myself but recommended on here), and I would personally recommend www.bibic.org.uk as having helped my Son; at least gives you the feeling that something is happening!!!

welsome to the board, there's lots of us AS mums here and some combined AS /ADHD

suedenley · 12/04/2006 16:22

thankyou everyone its great to get such a response i seem to fluctuate between frustation and anger do you know they have such little knoledge of my son that after shouting at my son to try and get a response they had the gall to call him rude and obnoxious and i have to go there and remain calm like how ?

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desperateSCOUSEstrife · 12/04/2006 16:24

hello sue :)
I have a ds2 with SN, not aspergers
but loads of good advice on this site
xxx

macwoozy · 12/04/2006 16:59

Hi suedenley, welcome to mumsnet.I have a 6 year old ds with ASD. You'll find lots of mums on here in a similar position to yourself so you're sure to get plenty of advice.

coppertop · 12/04/2006 17:04

Welcome to mumsnet and the SN board. I have 2 boys with ASD, aged 3yrs and 5yrs.

The school sounds absolutely useless.

tobysmumkent · 12/04/2006 17:16

Hello there, I've got 2 sons, the younger one is 4 and ASD. Not yet experienced anything like your situation...but actually have a friend who's son has a different condition to your DS but is in a similar state....will post if I learn anything useful. Hope someone more helpful to you comes along, mumsnet is great...and addictive.....:)

twokids · 12/04/2006 17:20

sorry I can't offer any help but just wanted to say hi. as others have said you will get loads of support on here. my dd is 11 and has cp

hami7 · 12/04/2006 17:28

Hi i am so sorry to hear how frustrated you both are.Ihave just gone through the statement process for my son, and he has got twenty hours one to one( aspergers).All i can say is it was the hardest most soul destroying thing i have ever done but you can do it,your son needs you that is where you get the strength from.Remember you are right and dont let anyone tell you they now your son better than you do.DEMAND to see the L.E.A,and get doctors,School,healhworkers everyone get them fighting with you.U can do it x

dinosaure · 12/04/2006 17:28

Hi sue. I have a son who is six, nearly seven, who has a diagnosis of high-functioning autism (similar to Aspergers).

Does Tommy have a formal diagnosis - from a paediatrician or a clinical psychologist? That's the first step in getting any additional support.

If he has a diagnosis, and yet the school won't support you, I would think very seriously about changing schools. There have been several mums on here who have done just that. Are there any other schools in the area that might be suitable for Tommy?

Chocol8 · 12/04/2006 17:28

Hi Sue - welcome to MN. My ds is 8 and is AS/ADHD and I was having similar problems to you with his school. After fruitless "talks" with the SENCO and the head, I decided to do as the head suggested and remove my ds from the school.

He is alot happier in his new school, which isn't 5 mins down the road, but quite a trek every day into town. It is a small school with one class per year group and they are great with ds.

He hasn't been statemented due to the old school refusing to do it, but the new school have put things in place and he manages quite well as they were willing to learn about AS/ADHD, unlike the others who simply thought he was rude, hyper etc.

I did have a hearing about the way I was treated and they realised then that I DID know what I was talking about but by then it was too late and I had already changed schools. There's only so much a person can bang their heads on the wall eh?

I wish you luck - maybe it is not possible to change schools, but they sound pathetic. Maybe you could make noises about being in contact with the NAS or IPSEA or organising a hearing with the governors - with a bit of luck they may respond. If not, then do you have a Parent Partnership near you?

Chocol8 · 12/04/2006 17:30

Dinosaure - have you gone French?

suedenley · 12/04/2006 17:50

yes absolutely rubbish although they know his diagnosis they took away his part in the school play stating that they had given him three chances to change his behaviors but he didnt so he could no longer be in it obviously he doesnt understand that he was doing anything wrong so doesnt know why he was punished they made him stand at the back where he couldnt be seen and he couldnt see me he spent the whole of xmas feeling low and worthless (his words) and dreading going back which also messed with his sleeping pattern he thought that if he didnt sleepthe next day wouldnt come and he wouldnt have to go back still they refuse to make allowances for him and say we wont treat him differently.

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suedenley · 12/04/2006 17:58

thanks i have thought about changing the school only prob is will mean moving his younger brother too or being in two places at once at 9 each morning also thinking of teaching him at home but then i think thats letting the lea and the school off lightly they should pull there fingers out and provide what our children are entitled too and doesnt it make you mad that whatever we do it doesnt help the next parent coming through with the same problems

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suedenley · 12/04/2006 18:04

sorry to put up lots of messages but i am newyes tommy has diagnosis ive known things were not right since 18months but got diagnosis in november wont go down the you need to disapline your son more or take parent craft classes road

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monica2 · 12/04/2006 18:06

Welcome Sue, sounds like you need a third party to get the school on board with improved understanding and strategies. When dd was dx with AS the paed wrote to the ASD outreach service who have since been involved with the Senco and teachers developing understanding and various strategies.
You could also take in relevant reading material for the teachers to read and print off strategies from the NAS/other sites to put as much pressure on them as possible to take your ds difficulties seriously.
You can also contact the schools local LEA case worker, each school has their own employed by the LEA to meet the needs of special needs children in that school.
Are there any local parent partnerships who could be a source of practical support too?

suedenley · 12/04/2006 18:18

ive got his key worker coming with me this time and ive organised for cids to go into school and observe him i have started the statement process and im waiting to hear if they will assess at the mo my gp is useless but toms consultant is excellent i have brought a copy of freaks geeks and asperger syndrome which im donating to the school staff room also ive read everything i can get my hands on so i think im prepared im just worried that when i get in there its all going to make me angry which is not good or they will turn everything around and ill come out feeling like a scolded cat and wonder how they did that and why i didnt get my point across

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suedenley · 12/04/2006 18:28

hey me again i guess i should have more faith in myself even though i cant puncuate i did get the dla to reverse there decision before appeal and tom got awarded his due dla

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