On the way to school afterwards she was begging me not to send her to school, saying her tummy hurt and she felt sick. I said to her that I had to take her to school, but if she was feeling really poorly we would talk to her teacher.
We got there and she refused to go into the cloakroom. Very quietly (she is quite passive when stressed in public) but stoically refused to set foot in the cloakroom.
I called the teacher over, and explained that DD2 had told me that she doesn't want to go to school because she has a sore tummy and feels sick, but that I had told her that Mrs x would probably want her to go to school and for school to let me know if she was too poorly. DD2 is stood quietly and purposefully ignoring the conversation at this point.
Mrs X said 'Oh DD2, you have lots of fun things to do today, you have to do your angel.' DD2 then suddenly laughed and jiggled her soft toy bear around in the air, making a silly noise, and walked into the classroom.
Her teacher said 'oh they like to pull on the heart strings'. I explained, once again, that she is genuinely distressed at home, that she refuses to get dressed, hides under the bed, etc., that the tears in the car were real and with genuine panic.
The whole time, her teacher was looking at me as if I was absolutely stupid. A mixture of pity and derision.
I ended up saying to her 'look, I'm getting the impression that as a school you think I'm neurotic and exaggerating. All I can tell you is that whatever DD2 is like at school, at home we have a very unhappy girl who is waking at night, begging not to go to school.' The teacher said 'oh well we need to work out why...'
Well yes, quite, that's why we have a paed referral!
Oh Justa, you make me smile. You're right though, you have no 'neurotypical' children -they are all superstars
I am finding it incredibly hard to describe DD2 and her behaviour, because it is all so subtle and passive. I mean, she doesn't barge through aggressively. She doesn't say 'Oi, you, irrelevant minions, out of my way.' She doesn't get irritated, or cross, or show any sign that she thinks they are in the way. It is as if they just aren't there.
justa , yes, I know that one well, that I have never had an NT child either. so am not the ideal person to comment on normal toddler behaviour!
lougle - I really hear you re:sublety. The school system does seem to underreact (for obvious reasons) to a child who is well behaved and doing well academically. And teachers aren't always that interested in your fimbling feeling that your child is somehow different socially.