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any opinions needed as unsure if being over sensitive re teacher...

(16 Posts)
Shayo Fri 30-Nov-12 14:32:40

So so wrong,mean and unfair.I bet this teachers the sort that will say 'get on with it' When the child really cant. You must put your foot down and infact get the school to change this out of date plainly insensitive way of dishing out invitations ...Actually this reminds me of an incident that happened at a wedding years back ..somoeone wasnt invited onto the hightable and all hell was let loose and this was dealing with adults not to say children..good grief!

Iceflower Wed 28-Nov-12 05:14:00

shock as others have said, that is so so wrong. You are not being sensitive at all. Complain.

mrslaughan Wed 28-Nov-12 00:42:58

so, so, so wrong on so many levels

frizzcat Tue 27-Nov-12 22:19:02

Wrong, wrong, wrong - complain loudly, I'm pretty sure a lot of other parents would be perturbed by this!!

porridgelover Tue 27-Nov-12 22:01:41

Sympathy as I understand the upset party invites cause esp with a child who through SN cannot understand the rejection when not invited.
Not one of my 3 DC can give out invites inside the school doors. Before or after school only.

I can see that you dont want to kick off with the teacher but this is not just about you.
It is handing over an element of power over to a child who may not have the maturity to wield it fairly. In addition, it provides a situation where festering inter-personal difficulties between individual children can be aired in a very public and humiliating way. You may agree with the schools efforts to recognise what is an important day for small children; it is the way it is done that you are questioning?
Best of luck.

greener2 Tue 27-Nov-12 20:38:19

My husband wants to go into the head tomorrow. I want him to but am worried as the teacher couldnt seem to understand why i didnt think it was acceptable so feel i am undermining her, arkward situation so what do i do? Have explained it to my dd but cant bear the thought of another party and as i said what does it say about the school?

Inaflap Tue 27-Nov-12 20:37:07

This is wrong on all sorts of levels and is divisive. Also what about parents that cant afford a party? My son never got invited to much so I know how you feel. I think you should complain to the head on behalf of all students. Mind, i have just heard of a parent whose child has handed out invites to all of the year group (over forty of them) with the proviso that its first to reply goes as there are only twenty places for the party!

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Tue 27-Nov-12 20:27:19

I think MS schools have a lot to learn about what's reasonable to expect any DC, let alone one with SN, to have to cope with. At my DS's school, on a birthday DC would bring in a multipack of sweets or fun size chocolates to be given out (always to the whole class) and this used to be done early in the afternoon. The DC then had to wait until home time before they could eat them. My very vocal and stroppy DS soon put a stop to this and sweets were handed out at home time as the DC left the classroom. Different problem, but TBH, it wasn't just my DS that found this difficult, especially in Reception, but the other DC were 'persuaded' to wait and given little sympathy if they found it hard. Luckily, no-one ignores my DS in full strop grin so the school has learnt to change the system for everyone.

Perhaps this could be a little lesson in 'reasonable adjustments' for your DD's school, and probably not the first one.

sannaville Tue 27-Nov-12 20:21:14

I know a couple of schools that do this. Our schools policy is invites to be handed out prior to entering the classroom or on leaving at end of day. You do need to complain


How cruel.

zzzzz Tue 27-Nov-12 20:19:49

Unacceptable. Write a formal complaint. Party invites are not part of the school day. Disappointment is not something that needs to be courted.

I have five children, all of whom are past reception. We have been at 3 different primaries and 3 nurseries (relocation) and have never heard of this happening anywhere. Nothing to do with special needs. Repost on the main board, don't mention the sn, and see the reaction. I would be surprised if anyone would put up with that.


greener2 Tue 27-Nov-12 20:14:39

Divisive, yes thats the right word. What do i do about this? I am unhappy now with choice of school, if they think thats ok?!

PolterGoose Tue 27-Nov-12 20:08:52

I am shock

What an awful, awful thing to do, truly vile and divisive. I would have to complain formally about that.

greener2 Tue 27-Nov-12 19:58:05

I know, i dont think its right either. She isnt great at being able communicate how she feels so it took me days to work out what was happening. She kept coming home and playing birthday parties, we had to make invitations and hand them out and set up parties for teddies.
Eventually heard more and then got through to her feelings that she is sad,disappointed and angry that when they are handed out she hasnt got one sad

Teacher said she has to learn about disappointment and whilst I agree I dont think this is the way to do it!

TheLightPassenger Tue 27-Nov-12 19:10:24

shock at them encouraging public party invite giving if not for a whole class party. This isn't right at all, even for kids without SN.

greener2 Tue 27-Nov-12 19:08:05

Hello all,

I feel quite upset and cross about this as the school know about my dd having difficulties with being over sensitive and having possible autism. What would you think or am i just being over sensitive?

My daughter is in reception class so i am new to the school thing but she has been really upset the last week. The teachers have a birthday chair in he classroom. When its someones birthday they come up and they hand out invitations to their party. Obviously the issue is not whether my dd is invited as its fine and i understand but the upset she has when she is 1. waiting to see if she is invited 2. subsequently isnt invited has to have the disappointment of this...

Thanks smile

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