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DX: Sad, but thank you all

(17 Posts)
marchduck Fri 23-Nov-12 21:15:52

The title says it all.
DD (3.11) finished her assessment yesterday. They brought DH and me in afterwards and said that it is ASD. Moderate, and with learning difficulties. This was a more pessimistic outcome than I had been hoping for, but on the other hand, I am glad that the period of "wait & see" is over. In a strange way it is good to know have a degree of clarity. I do feel some sorrow; not for me, but for my beautiful DD - I wish she could have had the life that most other children have.
I just wanted to thank you all; the MN SN board is fantastic. I first found you all when I was using Dr Google to try and understand the first report from the paed. I cannot explain how much I have appreciated everything I have read on here. It has helped me so much.

coff33pot Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:03

hugs and wine marchduck x

It is a strange feeling when you are told despite knowing something is up inside you.

But now think on as you have this dx nice and early and so can now go and tell that daft school what you expect them to do now and get them some training in ASD!

DS is moderate with specific learning diffs and I can tell you yes he has issues but he is 7 and out roller skating, has made friends, its not easy but he is enjoying his life and I am sure so will your DD x

babiki Fri 23-Nov-12 22:02:47

Hugs and hugs, you must be in turmoil... Thinking of you.

Ineedalife Fri 23-Nov-12 22:22:02

Am honking for you march

or maybe that should be quackingwink

frizzcat Fri 23-Nov-12 22:23:48

Honking for you

bialystockandbloom Fri 23-Nov-12 22:57:23

Marchduck I am so sorry. We all know that feeling; having it in black and white is so bloody final and irreversible. I just wanted to reverse a day and just have even one more day of deluded ignorance (and denial). It sucks.

But... it sounds so trite but honestly things will get better. You'll begin a process of accepting it (even if not necessarily ever actually getting over it, iyswim). Your lovely dd is the same person she was yesterday - she now just has a recognised term to describe some of her difficulties.

Just take time to let yourself feel as crap as you want to, what you had today is one of the last things you want to believe about your child, and then I'm sure you will, like all of us, get on with making sure she has the best support possible so she can exceed your highest expectations.

When you're ready, come back and we can all bleat on about pass on our knowledge about ways to help her smile

wine x

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Fri 23-Nov-12 23:47:21

Honks Marchduck. Hopefully this I'll be as low as it gets. X

marchduck Sat 24-Nov-12 00:57:27

Thank you all for your kind words

autumnsmum Sat 24-Nov-12 06:56:38

Just to say thinking of you dd2 was diagnosed with autism and cognitive impairment in July so I know hoe youfeel

IndigoBelle Sat 24-Nov-12 07:31:45

Honk. Honk.

Also don't take that dx is absolute fact. Her ASD may turn out to be less severe than predicted. Same with her learning difficulties.

Diagnosing kids is not an exact science.

Anyway, wishing you lots of strength for the next wee while, while you get your head round everything.

chocjunkie Sat 24-Nov-12 08:23:57

I am sorry march. We have received DD's asd dx a year ago (she was also 3.11) back then.

I promise - it will get better. I also hit a low after dx.
We were told after the ados that they cannot really comment on LD as DD was not even 4 yet and the outcome with asd is very difficult to predict.

((Hugs)) & kind to yourself!

Unmumsnetty hugs from here too (((( )))).

DD had her dx a couple of months ago. I felt incredibly numb and sad after the initial shock had worn off and it sank in. She is a wonderful little girl though as I am sure your DD is. The positive thing is that now you have an official dx you can move forward into how to improve things for her. I've seen a big improvement in DD since we stopped 'assessing' and started interventions.

I'm here if you ever need a chat. I think you've posted on my threads before.

mariammma Sun 25-Nov-12 00:13:30

From an interventions point of view, the worse her diagnosis looks now, the higher the chances of getting enough help to end up with a good outcome.

Have a cry then use this as leverage for whatever you think she needs eg early intervention / therapies / a statement / special school / trained 1-1 at nursery...

marchduck Sun 25-Nov-12 09:51:30

Thank you all - I really appreciate it.

WilsonFrickett Sun 25-Nov-12 18:40:48

Just saw this. Huge hugs and wine to you Marchduck. It is a sucky, sucky thing, but you will all be able to move forward from it. Take care x

Dev9aug Sun 25-Nov-12 20:27:05

marchduck I echo what indigo has said. As you know good quality early intervention is key and can make masses of difference.

we have only started seeing positive improvements in DS1 but it has been a very rough ride and it has not been just one thing that made a difference. so ask away when you are ready, you never know you might find something useful.

Shayo Mon 26-Nov-12 03:49:50

another quick thing you have to work as a family.i have been through how?why?and ifs .love my husband but also hate him at the moment as he tends to look THICK and WEAK at times ,but i know its his way of coping and I have to humour him.All the ladies here are superb .things will get easier!

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