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Have the grandparents been supportive?

(29 Posts)
greener2 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:34:27

Just having a little rant/upset.
Both sides of the family havent really been very good at being supportive with our situation. I dont understand it. I spoke to someone yest who has just been told that her 2 year old may be autistic she said her parents had been in tears on the phone etc. Mine - well I get a "oh, yeah..." and not much else other than comments about my neice, comparing her, oh yes well she does this and that, i feel they dont believe what i am saying or see the seriousness in it! I went over to my mums when i was feeling really low which she knew and she went on and on about her holiday she had just come back from and all the nice days out she had recently i felt like screaming!

My husband told his dad and he didnt say anything either?!

sagandswing Sun 25-Nov-12 22:11:30

The in-laws are absolute stars, all of my Ds's difficulties were highlighted by the school a few years ago (I was oblivious shock, my Ds had his quirks and there were a few times when I had some scratch my head moments smile but otherwise I always stood by my belief that everyone is different) I had a tough time handling numerous phone calls about Ds's behaviour or his work (or rather very little of it) My Dh at that time didn't really seem to take in what I was telling him because at the end of the day he was at work so why should he hmm. But after everything got too much and my Mil pointing out I had lost a lot of weight I had a small breakdown blush she went through the roof with me for not saying anything before, gave Dh a swift boot up the backside and then googled like crazy!! took me along to various support groups (when I didn't know what to do next) who pointed me towards Parent Partnership and Camhs, she did a diary, contacted the educational psychology department (without my knowledge,which I found a little bit naughty but seemed to speed things up ALOT), came to any meetings with the school or GP, and she and Fil are all set to pay for anything we may need if it should come to it because they want to help my Ds.

Now MY parents on the other hand.............My mum always comes up with a mysterious illness if you mention anything that does not concern her, believes that smacking is all a child needs to keep them in line, thinks my Ds is a marde arse because I actually take the time to acknowledge that he has thoughts and feelings because he is a human being not a peice of meat put on earth to shut up, listen, and do what he is told when he is told. Seems to get a kick out of blatantly winding my Ds up and then expects me to discipline (rather than talk to him) when he becomes rude and badly behaved but can't seem to understand when I sit her down and ask her not to do it!. As for my dad its a case of out of sight...out of mind.

Learning70 Sun 25-Nov-12 23:10:07

All the GPS seem to be coming round. I have found letting them have some hands on experience quite helpful. It's a bit easier for them to get it when they are in the firing line and not sitting on their bums, drinking coffee and tut tutting about 'my day' etc. The in laws may have embraced it a bit too well as they bollocked my next door neighbours about making a noise! My FIL called my neighbour a rude word and told him he was upsetting the autistic child! The first bit was factually correct but my child isn't diagnosed so we weren't actually planning on broadcasting it yet. Well never really but hey Ho lol. My mum is finally come round but I don't think she will ever truly get it. They are all in their 70s anyway so prob not a great practical help. Tbh as and when I do get a diagnosis, anyone still making noises about it being our fault can do one. End of.

justaboutchilledout Sun 25-Nov-12 23:11:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sagandswing Mon 26-Nov-12 01:14:34

I know justabout I dread to think what kind of a state I would be in now if it wasn't for them, my Mil has been a rock but I can see she is just as upset as me that my Ds could be autistic, I just wish my Dh was the same sad.

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