Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I have wrote my resignation letter because I feel too tired to work anymore

(41 Posts)
OwlLady Wed 10-Oct-12 14:36:45

and I feel the stress of working and caring is pulling me in all directions and i feel tired, anxious and emotionally and physically ill all the time and I am getting little joy out of anything

Has anyone else done this in order to have a rest? will i never work again?

(I think saintlyjj will come and tell me off now)

magso Wed 17-Oct-12 09:41:35

Well done Owl Lady for handing your notice in!!

I was made redundant early las year from a part time job that I loved.
I panicked & found another job which was more hours & more hard work!!
I just couldn't cope & handed my notice in after struggling on for 6 months.I didn't want to let my family down & had worked all my adult life,so the decision to leave was a bit fraught.
15 months on & I'm still out of work,but I feel I have more time to deal with all the responsibilities of having a child with a disability & I feel alot less stressed myself.
I would like to get back to work but I am not putting pressure on myself to find a job,as it will have to be the 'right one'.

inappropriatelyemployed Mon 15-Oct-12 12:35:55

Thanks. They take it on a yearly basis if you are self-employed - so you submit your annual accounts and what you earn in one tax year, affects whether you can claim in the next.

chocjunkie Mon 15-Oct-12 12:31:28

IAE - not sure if it is different when you are self employed.

I am employed and my earnings and childcare does vary.I have to fill in a form every 2 months and submit pay slips and childcare invoices and then the DWP calculate/decide for which week I do qualify and for which weeks I don't. in my case it absolutely has nothing to do with my annual income but with my weekly take home pay (after deducting 50% of my childcare fees and 50% of my pension contributions). So yes, I work and I do qualify for carer's (most weeks at least).

littlefirefly Mon 15-Oct-12 11:59:18

Well done for taking the plunge OwlLady!

I haven't been able to work for over a decade due to DS's autism, as I'm a lone parent and have no partner to depend on. I find we manage well enough financially, as DS gets HRC and the increased rate of CTC on top, plus my Carer's. And although DS is at special school, I find I need to spend his school hours doing the normal daily things that most parents can do while their dc are self-occupied, which DS can't do. It also means I can attend things like talks and courses on autism, so I'm more able to manage his needs.

I do go to the gym during school hours as well but I see that as taking care of myself so that I'm healthy enough to deal with DS - mentally and physically.

LateDeveloper Mon 15-Oct-12 10:41:05

OwlLady - good for you for resigning from a stressful job. Have a good long break and take stock.

I've just given up a 4 day a week job to do what I hope will be a more manageable 2.5 days mainly from home. However I'm keeping my childcare for three days as I need the respite and I want him to stay in the system - round here the majority of even quite expensive holiday childcare for children with disabilities is only available if both parents are working.

Ds is lovely but at 7 is becoming more hard work and I fear if I gave up work I might find it difficult to go back at a later date.

I'm trying to convince myself that he will be calmer at 14. At seven I can still pick him up and carry him when he has a meltdown. Maybe I'll spend my free time working out in the gym and forge a new career as a body builder <<looks down sadly at overweight flabby body>>

cornykrueger Mon 15-Oct-12 10:29:08

oooh well done
I'm still pondering...

OwlLady Mon 15-Oct-12 09:18:32

I have handed it in. I feel relieved tbh

justaboutiswarm Sat 13-Oct-12 08:27:50

I am at home with my three, all with additional needs/diagnoses.
Money is tight but I feel increasingly happy with the choice I have made. Which is to start seeking little bits and pieces of part-time work once DS3 is in preschool, but really only a couple of hours a week for now, and to keep it that way for a few years. If I can work up to a (say) 0.5 role once they are in secondary, that would be ideal - but I don't necessarily expect to. It depends what state they are in, physically and emotionally.

I think you are making the only possible choice for your health and wellbeing, actually. As our children get older, so do we. We have to work out what is feasible.

inappropriatelyemployed Fri 12-Oct-12 21:16:04

Chocjunkie, is that right? I thought they ask what you earn per annum? Or perhaps that is just because I'm self-employed.

I left just as I was qualifying; I did qualify but knew I wouldn't be able to work in that field. Ds was constantly being picked up due to illness at nursery and I couldn't do both. I went back to a different field about five years later. Its still hard and I work part time. You Are Not Alone.

OwlLady Fri 12-Oct-12 18:10:36

work has always been my escape to, it isn't anymore, it gives me more headaches than at home

I think people are less understanding as they get older as well as they think they are more independent <hollow laugh>

I am also considering doing this. It's hard work having to explain why I am late for work after an appointment with the senco has over run or that I have to take yet another day off for an assessment or to feel like an involved parent so I can observe DS in SN facility that he goes to.

Not to mention the exhaustion from constantly chasing after him until 10-11 at night when he finally collapses!

Just need to work out if its financially viable and being that he now gets dla it may be that I could at least cut down and claim carers allowance. Only thing that's stopping me is that work is my escape!

I am also training to be a SEN TA which is voluntary but what I'd like to do is help out more at DS's school to get more experience and possibly a "foot in the door" and not working will enable this too!

OwlLady Fri 12-Oct-12 17:40:53

and today to top things off I was completely demoralised in front of staff I have to manage because tosser at the top wanted me to explain my personal circumstances
at least it has made my mind up

sorry corn to you too

cornsconkers Thu 11-Oct-12 21:11:53

Sorry for hijacking your thread owl lady - just couldn't believe it when I saw this thread which reflects exactly how I feel!
Knackered, stressed, had enough!
ds has just been bumped up to HRC ( still no firm dxshock so pretty amazed) so I feel more confident about giving up work but....what about when he's older.... Will I regret it if I can't get back in and he's financially dependent on me...
It's that more than anything that is worrying me. Especially with all the changes being brought in to benefits by this government.

TheLightPassenger Thu 11-Oct-12 17:29:35

if you are who I think you are, as I recall you work in a particularly unforgiving sector with regard to demands/flexibility, and completely understand why it's too much, particularly if you and DH are ships in the night as it were. Hope you feel better soon.

chocjunkie Thu 11-Oct-12 17:00:58

Corn, carers allowance does not depend on what you have earned over the tax year. It is a weekly benefit and you should get it as soon as you leave work (provided your DC gets Dla at MCR or HCR).

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 11-Oct-12 16:56:33

Corn, sorry things are so crap for you. I think it depends on how much you have earned this tax year.

cornsconkers Thu 11-Oct-12 16:23:00

I also work in public sector - they mostly don't give a shit about your home life, as long as they can squeeze what they can out of you..

cornsconkers Thu 11-Oct-12 16:20:33

I'm also on the verge of handing my notice in. The stress of having to be at work at a certain time ( even tho i'm part-time) but having to have ds at school before then is not good.
Does anyone know - do I have to wait for the next tax year to claim carers as I've been working?

oh and inappropriately - I have made the same choice. I keep being asked to apply for research posts and are told they're flexible, but I know they're not flexible enough for me. So freelance/own business it is. And yes evening working sucks.

Hallebloodyleujiah! Now hand it in!!!

I hope to join you one day. ALthough I'd have to resign from myself so I won't need a letter.

:pat on the back: :pours glass of wine: :passes a fig:

chocjunkie Thu 11-Oct-12 14:04:17

OP, oh I know how you feel. I also work, DD1 has autism (quite severe), and DD2 ist only a toddler. I haven't got family nearby either and work is killing me. I have lost more than a stone last year, I am constantly on the edge…
and having to fight all the SN battles such as statement, DLA etc doesn’t help either. i am up every night several times with both DDs. I am constantly tired and exhausted.

Have talked to the tax credit help line and we are simply much better off if I stay in work so I have no choice but to carry on sad

hk78 Thu 11-Oct-12 13:29:36

i'm currently on sick leave, have disabled dd and feeling that i am probably going to pack it all in due to similar reasons to all of you above.

good advice about joining/remaining in a union.

mariamma Wed 10-Oct-12 23:13:47

And you can stay in when unemployed/ at home, which can help with networks, keeping a toe in work-world, being eligible for courses, etc

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now