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help - mainstream school possibly refusing statemented child

(167 Posts)
ArthurPewty Thu 06-Sep-12 18:31:23

OMFG I cannot believe this.

We've FINALLY gotten to the point where we and the LA were negotiating over the wording of the proposed for DD2, who they gave a Note in Lieu to in January and we appealed.

The LA officer just got back to me. The school (where DD1 went, and attached to D1's junior school, and our local school, with our peers) were officially consulted.

Apparently the school have concerned as to whether or not they can meet her needs at all.

SHe has already been for an open day. SHe is due to take up her nursery place on 17 Sept - the place she was offered as a sib to DD1, back in April and we accepted.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Have we just fucked up DD2's education by getting the statement sorted out??

Jesus christ i'm shaking here.

ArthurPewty Tue 11-Sep-12 17:41:48

Of course Lougle.

ArthurPewty Thu 13-Sep-12 17:46:03

La officer has come back to me.

She wants a mtg with the school and us.

DD2 is to start there in the nursery on monday, though.

mariamma Thu 13-Sep-12 21:54:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mariamma Thu 13-Sep-12 22:06:29

Aargh. Wrong thread...

Sorry Leonie! Meant to say, who can you bring with you to the meeting? It may well be that this is the LEA's clumsy attempt to set up a triangular conflict between you, them and the school. Might they want to take advantage of any previous difficulties regarding dd1, or remind you of other difficult encounters? This is a guess, but i think it might be a correct one.

Quickest way out of mind games is not to play. And easiest way to do that is change as much of the encounter as possible yourself. People, setting, your mindset, what you wear. Bringing Starbucks for everyone to thank them for attending despite busy schedules is a very subtle way to take charge wink.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 11:00:43

oh, sounds like a good plan.

The PP guy is coming - i told him and the LA to book it round HIS schedule, not ours - as we will arrange summat whatever we've given.

This is EXACTLY what they want to do, create a triangular conflict between all of us.

Myself, my husband, the PP guy, the LA are coming afaik. I dont know how else to change it.

I was thinking of asking the head of Jnrs to be present too.?

Write to the LA and tell them you don't think it is appropriate for you to be there WHEN they explain to the school that they have no say in how the statement is worded or how much SALT your dd gets. Tell them that you have no business telling the school how to do their job, nor shoukd you be expected to and it might jeapordise your future relationship with the school if they mistake the law for parental views.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 12:16:59

That's essentially what i said last evening. I am extremely hesitant to give infants a platform to take this apart before it has even begun!!!

LA officer pissed off and is "out of office" until Tuesday. within 5 minutes of sending said email to me last night.

I've left a message for the head of SENAS to phone me today.

I am so unhappy sad I just do not know what to do.

Leonie, you sound defeated, and it's completely unnecessary. Stay out of it. Stay away from it, tell the LA to just pull their finger out and get you the document. Whether they listen to school or not is up to them. Whether you subsequently appeal or not, is up to you. That shoukd be the first time you get back involved. The rest is just nonsense you shoukd ignore.

Fwiw, having a written record of LA and school going around seemingly in circles and confused will help any tribunal case hugely.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 12:45:40

I dont understand why they are involving me except to upset me / get me to agree to less.

Which of course i will not do.

They seem to have until 20 October to issue a final statement first proposed 13 July, 2nd proposed 31 July), because of the 6 weeks hols. Th consulted school on 24 Aug.

I FEEL defeated, Star. The whole effing point f starting all this 1 1/2 years ago was to get this sorted before she started and the HT got her fingers in my pie. Not only does she have all the pies, she's pigging out on them sad

Well your FEELING are getting in the way of your ability to deal with this. Your anxiety is causing you to phone people, catch people, email people and involve yet more people. I was the same once.

The best strategy is to let them tie themselves up without them being able to say any of the tangle was down to you.

You're somehow desperately trying to find a way for this all to be in place by monday. What possible interest does the LA or school have in this being so? Forget it and get over it. Focus on the deadline date and find a way to be okay with it. Being upset about it won't change the outcome but will prevent you from dealing effectively with the ultimate goal.

madwomanintheattic Fri 14-Sep-12 14:03:56

Leonine, they haven't said she can't start, though, have they?

Think of it as a transition meeting. Have you had a proper transition meeting between all the profs and the new setting?

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 15:36:12

no they havemt said she cant start, they've just said she'll start without any support in place at all.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 15:37:48

and then they'll use that as 'evidence' that she doesnt need any support

Yes.

madwomanintheattic Fri 14-Sep-12 16:05:49

Okey doke.

I've always sent dd2 anyway. It's pretty clear cut that she needs support, so it tends to make people react faster to get it in place (at least as a tiny). But i can see that more subtle stuff might be problematic.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 17:03:44

i think i sorted it. Igot the la officer's boss on the phone, she clarified that actually we dont need to be there and no, no provision wiuld be removed, its to beat the school into submission really. The la ffucer asked her boss to come anyway, so i was able to tell her what to expect and the kind of spurious reasons they'd objected, so shr promised me a date asap to expect final and she'll send us a final once she's srted school out. She ensured they wouldnt be removing provision and they know we'll appeal...

Hope thats the end of it.

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