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help - mainstream school possibly refusing statemented child

(167 Posts)
ArthurPewty Thu 06-Sep-12 18:31:23

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ArthurPewty Tue 11-Sep-12 17:41:48

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ArthurPewty Thu 13-Sep-12 17:46:03

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mariamma Thu 13-Sep-12 21:54:18

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mariamma Thu 13-Sep-12 22:06:29

Aargh. Wrong thread...

Sorry Leonie! Meant to say, who can you bring with you to the meeting? It may well be that this is the LEA's clumsy attempt to set up a triangular conflict between you, them and the school. Might they want to take advantage of any previous difficulties regarding dd1, or remind you of other difficult encounters? This is a guess, but i think it might be a correct one.

Quickest way out of mind games is not to play. And easiest way to do that is change as much of the encounter as possible yourself. People, setting, your mindset, what you wear. Bringing Starbucks for everyone to thank them for attending despite busy schedules is a very subtle way to take charge wink.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 11:00:43

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Write to the LA and tell them you don't think it is appropriate for you to be there WHEN they explain to the school that they have no say in how the statement is worded or how much SALT your dd gets. Tell them that you have no business telling the school how to do their job, nor shoukd you be expected to and it might jeapordise your future relationship with the school if they mistake the law for parental views.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 12:16:59

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Leonie, you sound defeated, and it's completely unnecessary. Stay out of it. Stay away from it, tell the LA to just pull their finger out and get you the document. Whether they listen to school or not is up to them. Whether you subsequently appeal or not, is up to you. That shoukd be the first time you get back involved. The rest is just nonsense you shoukd ignore.

Fwiw, having a written record of LA and school going around seemingly in circles and confused will help any tribunal case hugely.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 12:45:40

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Well your FEELING are getting in the way of your ability to deal with this. Your anxiety is causing you to phone people, catch people, email people and involve yet more people. I was the same once.

The best strategy is to let them tie themselves up without them being able to say any of the tangle was down to you.

You're somehow desperately trying to find a way for this all to be in place by monday. What possible interest does the LA or school have in this being so? Forget it and get over it. Focus on the deadline date and find a way to be okay with it. Being upset about it won't change the outcome but will prevent you from dealing effectively with the ultimate goal.

madwomanintheattic Fri 14-Sep-12 14:03:56

Leonine, they haven't said she can't start, though, have they?

Think of it as a transition meeting. Have you had a proper transition meeting between all the profs and the new setting?

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 15:36:12

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ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 15:37:48

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Yes.

madwomanintheattic Fri 14-Sep-12 16:05:49

Okey doke.

I've always sent dd2 anyway. It's pretty clear cut that she needs support, so it tends to make people react faster to get it in place (at least as a tiny). But i can see that more subtle stuff might be problematic.

ArthurPewty Fri 14-Sep-12 17:03:44

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