school wants to isolate my 7 yo because of his behaviour (poss adhd)

[gigglinggoblin]

but i cant help feeling this isnt going to help. he has attacked 2 girls today then spent the afternoon throwing chairs, he says the girls tripped him up and pulled him off the slide - he has said others bully him too, i have asked school to keep an eye on him but im not sure if he is telling the truth. i know how awful that sounds :(

he may or may not have adhd, he certainly seems to have every symptom from what i have found out on the net but i have been told doctors dont want to 'label' him, school dont seem to know what they are doing and the school doctor is worse than useless. about 18 months after he started having problems he saw the special needs teacher who thinks it might be that - why didnt he see her before? he was on the special needs register, so i dont really understand how it took so long

how does your school cope with your child with adhd? am i being unrealistic that they should do more to keep him in his own school rather than sending him to another school to work in complete isolation? he is a very bright boy and i know he would do better getting one to one education at home, but his problem is with social interaction and i dont want him to lose out on the school environment. they have agreed with me but then suggested this, which seems to be completely defeating the object of him being in school. has isolation worked for anyone who has a child with behavioural problems?

[amynnixmum]

It definately didn't work for my ds. He has ADHD traits and also some AS traits. At the moment the paed is leaning towards AS but ds won't get a dx until he's 7.
By isolation do the school mean teaching him on his own or actually sending him to another special school? DS old school took him out of the classromm and put him in a little room with no windows and 2 adults - as a result ds behaviour reached crisis point both at school and at home.

Does your ds have a statement?

[gigglinggoblin]

no statement, dont know how to get one either, school are pretty useless. he is on the special needs register but ed psy has seen him once and declared she cant do anything.

he is going to be sitting in the head teachers office on his own (with teacher) tomorrow, she said after that she is considering sending him to another local primary school with a special teacher where he will work on his own and see no one but the teacher who is looking after him. apparently several schools in the area do this with badly behaved children, they have a rota for which school the kids will be sent to.

this just doesnt sound like it is going to help ds, obviously it will help the rest of the class as the 'problem' has been removed, but i dont see how this will improve things for him long term

[amynnixmum]

I really don't like this approach and it caused major problems for ds. We removed him from the school last jan and we got the lEA to agree to backyear him so he could start school again from the beginning. Since he started at his new school things have got better and better but he does now have a statement and fulltime 1:1 support so obviously that makes a big difference. With that support though he is doing so well he's like a different child - his teacher says that you wouldn't pick him out of the class as being different.

As for a statement you can request that the LEA do a statutory assessment yourself. Has the school or ed psych mentioned referring him at all? It certainly isn't necessary to have their support but it'll help.

[MeerkatsUnite]

GG

Have no experience with ADHD but would certainly agree with Amynnixmum's second paragraph. Apply to the LEA yourself with regards to getting your son assessed with a view to getting a Statement.

IPSEA are very good in this regard and can advise you further. They also have a helpline you can call.

www.ipsea.org.uk

Some further websites for you:-
www.mkadhd.org.uk
www.adders.org
www.pavilion.co.uk/add/english.html

[Blandmum]

We sometimes withraw children from classes because of behaviour. In fact we have some children who can remove themselves if they are going into overload (this is in secondary)

Best case scenario is that your son gets the support that he needs and hi behaviour can be contained and handeled appropriatly within the class.

I can fully understand that you don't want him excluded, however it sounds as if he isn't learning uch in the classroom with things as they stand at present ( I also realise that the other kids arn't working atm....but that isn't the issue, the issue is what is best for your son)

If he is alone with a 1 to 1 he may well do more work and the environment may be calmer for him. If things 'descalate' then the school may be able to re-introduce him back into the class with appropriate support.

In addition, if some of this is your son being 'naughty' (meaning no disrespect.....all kids can do this on times), ten being taken away from the 'drama' of the class can be very helpful.

Part of the issue for the school may well be a H and S issue. If your son is throwing chairs they will have to act.

You have all my sympathy on this, and I hope that things improve for him soon. It may well be worth chasing up a referal and a statement from your son....it seems obvious that the school is not meeting his needs atm

[gigglinggoblin]

thanks for replies, was off making tea.

i didnt know you could apply to the lea yourself, i think i will call them tomorrow and also have a look on those websites. i dont know much about statementing but surely he needs some help if its got to this stage. the 1:1 support is exactly what he needs - but school hs mentioned it and said its all down to money and of course there isnt enough. maybe if i go straight to the lea it will make a difference

i do understand that the school has to act, i dont have any problem with that and i wouldnt be happy if they didnt. it just feels that several stages have been missed out. they started the taking time out approach the last week before half term but has so far not been effective. he is emotionally very immature and i dont think he can contain himself long enough to get away from the stressful situation. i think part of the problem sometimes is boredom as the work is too easy. he does get extension work but has to finish the 'boring' (his words!) stuff first, and it is pretty rare he manages to get that far.

am not sure if a change of schools would make a difference, the one he is at is fairly small and i dont think they have really come across this before, a friend did suggest that in a larger school they may be better equipped to deal with him and there may be other kids with the same difficulties, so he doesnt feel so isolated. but not sure if the change would upset him more. am starting to think it cant get much worse so may as well give it a go.

[amynnixmum]

DS only gets 1:1 because its part of his statement and is funded by the LEA. The school wouldn't be able to do it otherwise. IMO althought the school is important a statement makes the most difference as it is a legally binding document that the school has to obide by.

For us the situation at ds school had deteriorated to the point where I was not prepared to leave him there any longer - big issues with crap head etc - but ideally I would have preferred to be able to sort it out with them than go to the hassle of moving both ds and dd to a new school. The new school is great and has made a huge positive impact on ds behaviour but its impossible to say how much of that is due to the school itself and how much is due to the 1:1 that ds now gets in the classroom.

Good luck with it all - those few months were absolutely the hardest and most upsetting of my life.

[gigglinggoblin]

thanks amy, its good to know someone has lived through it and come out the other side!

i do now feel the school is rather rubbish, but its not due to teachers not caring, they genuinely do, its just that they dont seem to have a clue what to do! the senco is also the reception teacher, i was told if you find a bigger school with a special needs teacher who is nothing else then often they know more and have more time to deal with problems like this. we are also due to move across town soon and there will be a bigger school across the road, ive told his school i was thinking about calling them and i dont think it will do any harm to have a look round. i dont really want to move ds2 but he seems to fit in well wherever he is so would probably be ok

1:1 is definately what he needs i think, some of his problems in class are due to him attention seeking and getting ott when the teacher doesnt respond how he would like, so extra attention would at least calm that down