Can you find me a super nanny please? (Sleep related)

[dev9TheOnewhoisaBloke]

We are having sleep issues with DS (2.9) ASD and would really like some help. We have tried all sorts of things and are now using melatonin to help him fall asleep, but it is not a long term option and even though it helps him fall asleep, I don't like the idea of medicating him if it is not needed.
Has anybody used or know of a sleep consultant/supernanny etc to help with ds's sleep?
TIA

[silverfrog]

what are the issues, dev?

can your ds not 'switch off' and get to sleep?

does he stay asleep once he is asleep?

can he wind down ok, is he anxious about being left alone (if he is)?

is your ds2 'up' later than him? doe she feel he is missing out on anything?

dd1 at 2.9 wa sa brilliant sleeper - our problems came a bit later, when she was about 4. she went (overnight - ha!) from being a fantastic sleeper to not going to sleep, unable to stay in a room by herself, highly anxious, and totally controlling.

it wa sa long road, but we are now out the other side (it took over 2 years to sort it fully). our ABA cons was very helpful throughout, and in unpicking what the root cause of the behaviours may be - it still took time, but at least we then had a plan!

[Chundle]

Dev we have serious sleep issues with dd age 2.7 . She's being assesed for hfa. We have tried sleep counsellor, pyschologist, OT the works. Nothing helps. She's on melatonin which helps her get off but doesn't keep her asleep. We saw our sleep counsellor for free through Cerebra (check out their website)

[dev9TheOnewhoisaBloke]

Thanks zzzzz it's good to know it does get better.

Chundle we did see a wonderful person from Cerebra about routines etc but at the moment nothing seems to work. He is melatonin and like yours it does help him nodd off but does not help him sleep.

Silver he does get tired but cannot switch off, he has never slept through the night but previously we were able to get him back to sleep which is impossible now.
He has never had a routine, as soon as we establish a routine to get him to sleep, he would find a way around it.

His sleep problems started last year when he was very anxious and was suffering from thrush, but thrush is more or less gone and now he always has full attention from at least one of us if not both at all times. He does suffer from constipation so we did wonder if that could be it.

[Wannabespook]

You have my sympathies Dev, as my DS is nearly 10 and has had sleep issues all of that time. I have read many many books and last year tried a sleep counsellor from Scope.
I did get the 'you're doing the right things' that is frequently offered by so called professionals to any parent wih an ounce of common sense. However I am always willing to give things a shot and after weeks of sleep diaries and home visits, they constructed a routine which was only marginally different from what we were doing. Anyway, we stuck at it, wrote more diaries and there was some improvement by the end of the summer, although I got the impression that we weren't progressing as fast as they wanted us to.
Once DS returned to school, it all went to pot again and we are no further forward once more. It was at that point that I found the counsellor a little bit of a let down as we were sticking to the routine but something about DS had changed and he was no longer responding in the same way but I think they believed that we weren't following their advice. Then it went very quiet.
They're worth a shot. I have learned however how to survive on very little sleep and only need a padded cell once in a blue moon!

[dev9TheOnewhoisaBloke]

zzzzz I am going to print this and try and follow it religiously. His diet unfortunately is crap and is something we need to work on. I have been reading the brain food plan and the GAPS book and tbh the GAPS diet does have a certain appeal to it at the moment.

wannabe thanks for the tip, we tried Cerebra earlier in the year, they were very good with their advice but we are just fed up with the lack of sleep and wish there was someone or a magic wand which will make this go away.. Ah well.. Just got to stick at it I guess..

Thank you all for your help..

[StarshitTerrorise]

What happens when he is not asleep?

I mean I'm not offering this as especially good parenting advice but when DS went through this phase DD was very little and I was so sleep deprived I cared not whether Ds was awake I not and just stuck a stair gate on his room. DH never woke up anyway.

After. Week or so he stopped being loud or crying and just played a Bit then went back to sleep. At some point he just slept through again.

Can't remember all the details very clearly. It was hell for sure, but it did fix.

[StarshitTerrorise]

Btw Dev, my DH remembers that whole period of our lives very differently from me. I can PM you his email if you want as he says he'd be happy to 'speak' to you. He seems to remember it all being much much worse than I do but it was a phase that passed.

[dev9TheOnewhoisaBloke]

Star one of us has to stay with him to settle him to sleep. He tends to get really excited and is very vocal just before falling asleep.
We have never left him alone in the room as he just cries until we give in.
He was an ok sleeper before his thrush/constipation issues started so it could be learned behaviour from that phase, we just need to bite the bullet and sort out his routine and I am also hoping that dietary changes will also help.

[dev9TheOnewhoisaBloke]

Hothead DS is a very anxious child so I have never tried leaving him in the room alone to fall asleep, infact he is hardly alone at all during the day.

He went through a phase where he was completely withdrawn and has only recently started to come out of his shell so I am very wary of using the tough love approach.

[dev9TheOnewhoisaBloke]

Star that is very kind of your DH. Please PM me his email address, it would be good to speak to him.

I can cope without the sleep I think, but the fact that lack of sleep is obviously affecting DS's learning is what pisses me off more. He is like a different child when he has had a good night sleep. As I am typing this I realise that he does need his sleep, maybe it is us who have to adapt routines to suit him rather than the other way round.

[SallyBear]

DevBloke. Sorry to hear about DS's sleep issues. We were prescribed Melatonin for DS this time last year and it changed his behaviour overnight to a highly clingy child. So I stopped it (didn't want to set a precedent!). We then went to a McTimoney Chiropractor (you will try anything when you've had 4 years of progressively worse crap sleep), and saw a lady called Deirdre Edwards in Stratford-upon-Avon. It turned out that DS had several vertebra out of alignment plus his pelvis. All of this impacted on his sleep. She manipulated him and he slept all night for the first time that night. It's made a huge difference. It's not fixed it 100%, but he is sleeping through several nights a week. His behaviour has improved dramatically as a result of getting zzzzzzz in!