why do I feel so sad about possible diagnosis of ADHD or HF AS?

[sparklymieow]

After battling for 3 years for someone to see that dd1 has a serious behaviour problem, someone finally has and she has been referred to the ADHD clinic and the pead. is also going to speak to dd1's SALT to see if they feel she has a commuication and social disorder, and if so, a doctor will go into school to observe her, and I feel so sad Why?? I should be happy that finally someone agrees with me, and is willing to help.

[sparklymieow]

[misdee]

because its something else to add to dd1 list.

but she will get the help she needs this way.

[maddiemosthorrid]

Even though you may have thought it, it is still a shock when someone confirms yours worries.

I felt very sad when ds3 got a dx even though I knew it was coming.

Hopefully she will soon get more support at school.

[sparklymieow]

Thats what I said to the teacher this morning, I don't want to drug her, but at least with a disgnosis the education dept. will help.

[jenk1]

its heartbreaking when our children are diagnosed even if you suspected it because no one wants their child to suffer with Anything,so although it means getting help for the child concerned for me i started to look at DS differently when he was diagnosed with AS/ASD and it depressed me.

But months on i still see the AS but i see a boy who i love regardless of his condition and who wouldnt be him without it IYSWIM.

You,me and misdee are having a great week arent we?
Mine and misdee,s dd,s have been diagnosed with hypotonia and your dd and my ds have AS.

Well at least we can all support each other in these difficult times.

[misdee]

sparkly, tea and cake on monday then?

its been a hard week, but ido have somegood news, in fact i should post it up on health lol.

[weebernie]

Hi Sparkly!
My ds3 has ASD with global developmental delay. Your worst fears are now being recognised and the hope that maybe this is all a dream are fading away. That sounds very gloom and doom doesn't it? Don't despair, all parents of children with special needs feel this at this stage and it's only natural.
I too battled with the system for a dx only to be left feeling upset in the end when I should have felt relieved.
I am not ashamed to say that I took it for granted that I would have a baby of typical development and when this does not go according to how you planned it, it seems devastating at first, but only at first. My little boy is such a special guy who has allowed me to look at life through different eyes and appreciate things I never noticed before. You have a struggle ahead of you with tears and frustration, but you will also have moments of such wonder and joy.
Ask for help when you need it and have a rant when you need it to. Your life will change but only to something other than what you expected.
I hope this has helped a little and I wish you all the best on this new journey. x

[aloha]

What's your good news Misdee!!?

[misdee]

mieows dd also has cerebal palsy.

[misdee]

check on health aloha? lol.

[sparklymieow]

lol!! Sorry have to at you all trying to support me, normally its me doing the supporting. I have a DS, nearly 8 with Cerebral palsy, it took 2 years for the hospital to diagnois him at 2 1/2. Dd1 was dxd with Cerebral palsy at 13 months old. She is now 5 yrs. I have battled with the doctors because they kept putting her behaviour down to her CP.
Thanks for your messages tho. made me

[MrsFrostgetful]

SPARKLY... how you feel is just how i did...its one thing suspecting....and bing convinced that the child has x y or z problem...but hearing it made official...especially whe you read the report they send...and you see all the difficulties listed in black and white...well it hits hard.

some of us love (others hate! ) the "welcome to Holland" piece.... i pesonally love it as it is exactly my story.

I wanted kids from when i was a kid myself...i wanted to be a great mum...and i wanted to do it right.

i bought all the playdough...finger paints...jigsaw puzzles....and planned cosy days baking in the kitchen with my planned children.

then it happened... the birth was awful...he cried constantly...didn't like milk...didn't like solids....hated being cuddled....hated getting messy 9so away went the playdough...paints etc...and no point cooking...)...and as his attention span was so short no puzzles saw the light of day...


so i moved along the journey...gradually adapting...and losing sight of my expectatioins of motherhood....BUT....still remmeber the shock of how i felt when i realised this loss..... i try to see that i have 'gained' in some ways...but when i ahve been out at a pub and seen families eating together....and i know that is impossible for us...i can't help but remember all those 'family outings' that i planned...that just don't happen1

sorry...rambling off point...just knowing how you feel...and though it never goes away..you do move forward.

[MrsFrostgetful]

SPARKLY... how you feel is just how i did...its one thing suspecting....and bing convinced that the child has x y or z problem...but hearing it made official...especially whe you read the report they send...and you see all the difficulties listed in black and white...well it hits hard.

some of us love (others hate! ) the "welcome to Holland" piece.... i pesonally love it as it is exactly my story.

I wanted kids from when i was a kid myself...i wanted to be a great mum...and i wanted to do it right.

i bought all the playdough...finger paints...jigsaw puzzles....and planned cosy days baking in the kitchen with my planned children.

then it happened... the birth was awful...he cried constantly...didn't like milk...didn't like solids....hated being cuddled....hated getting messy 9so away went the playdough...paints etc...and no point cooking...)...and as his attention span was so short no puzzles saw the light of day...


so i moved along the journey...gradually adapting...and losing sight of my expectatioins of motherhood....BUT....still remmeber the shock of how i felt when i realised this loss..... i try to see that i have 'gained' in some ways...but when i ahve been out at a pub and seen families eating together....and i know that is impossible for us...i can't help but remember all those 'family outings' that i planned...that just don't happen1

sorry...rambling off point...just knowing how you feel...and though it never goes away..you do move forward.

[jenk1]

WAY-HEY Welcome back Mrs F, ive missed you-where you been?

[macwoozy]

I understand too sparkly. Although I knew my ds had HFA, it wasn't until I saw it in black and white that it finally dawned on me that this was going to be a lifelong disability, and not something that he'd eventually grow out of. I'm not denying it's hard work but I've never met anyone that can make me laugh as much as he does with his funny little ways, he's such a character. At least with a diagnosis in place, you'll recieve all the necessary support at school. Good luck

Hello to Mrs F as well

[sparklymieow]

the head/senco phoned me today and he has some AS check lists at the school so is going to get the teacher to do one, and give me one too, so he can see if she fall in the AS.

[jenk1]

macwoozy-ditto my ds is SO funny with his little ways and routines and everyone who meets him say he is very charming but they dont have to live with him 24/7

[coppertop]

I've had countless offers of "Can I take home with me?" They look somewhat surprised when I say YES PLEASE!

Agree that it's still horrible (no matter how much you want it) when someone else says that they think there is a problem too.

[MrsFrostgetful]

Thanks for missing me! I have been lurking on SN...but not posting...this thread struck a chord with me.

(i've been on the art and craft section..as i make cards..that's where i've been!!!)

[MrsFrostgetful]

CT...THANKS for the EPIC!!!!

[coppertop]

I warned you it would be a biggie! (ooer!)

[MrsFrostgetful]

yes but CT....mine's BIGGGGGGER!!!!

[Davros]

It hurts Sparkly, that's all I can say. Whatever the other good/bad sides, it just bloody hurts