Update

[MrsMattie]

Can't find my original thread (on which so many of you gave me such good advice and support)..?

In a nutshell: Nursery raised concerns about DS's behaviour at the end of last term. Didn't come as a surprise - we've been struggling with him at home, too .

Nursery teacher (great, supportive) arranged for the SENCo to come and observe DS at nursery. I arranged an appt at GP's to ask for a referral to a community paediatrician/ed psych, on the advice of the nursery teacher - she said a 'two-pronged' approach was quickest way to get him assessed and to get a statement for him if down the line.

So... today we had the 'follow up' meeting. It just so happened that today I also received a letter from the Community Paed saying that they could not accept GP's referral without a referral request from the nursery, too. Enclosed a load of forms about DS's behaviour to give to nursery.I feel a bit peeved about this, really, as though my word means nothing and that unless the nursery say something nobody cares if my son is struggling, but anyway. Also, that nursery/GP didn't know that this was standard procedure...

Anyway, the meeting was all very quick and casual. DS kicked off with a huge tantrum in front of all present, which held things up a bit. Once he was gone, nursery teacher introduced me to two people - the school Learning Mentor and the school Inclusion Manager. I have no idea what these terms means and there wasn't time to ask..?

They asked me questions about DS's behaviour and said they wanted to talk to us in more depth next Monday at a longer meeting. Also said they wanted to arrange for the LEA's Parent Support Advisor to come and speak to us. they were friendly, sympathetic, thought we seemed to be 'doing all the right things so far' and agreed that DS has some 'behavioural issues', although wouldnt be drawn on what they are alluding to until next week's meeting.

I am now trying to put together some questions / things to discuss at next week's meeting.

I have no idea what all these people do, that's for starters. What is the difference between a learning mentor, inclusion manager, parent support worker etc?

Also, it seems the inclusion guy was the one who observed DS, not the SENCo. Why? What could this mean? Should I be asking for the LEA's SENCo to come out, too?

The nursery teacher was really nice at the end of the meeting. Said she'd fill out the forms asap to 'get things moving.

I guess I just don't know if things are moving along in the way they should be? I did also have to stifle a groan when the inclusion guy started telling us we should try the naughty step/corner with DS. FGS. Like we haven't thought of that already.

[MrsMattie]

Bumping, as would love the benefit of more experienced MN-ers on this one!

[MrsMattie]

another bump - just want to know the answer to the last few sentences if you can't be arsed to read whole thing. Thanks.

[MrsMattie]

last bump

[megcleary]

bumping for you have no experience in this area apologies

[TotalChaos]

maybe inclusion manager is senco's boss? would have thought inclusion manager would be same person as senco, but I guess if it's a big school they might have more than one teacher dealing with SN. can't really help on the role of the other people you suggest though.....

in terms of the comm paed referral - i always found my GP though sympathetic rather shirked the fine details of referrals, and would just talk to HV rather than doing any chasing herself - so sometimes I think even GPs can be stumped by arbitrary nature of the "system" - each area seems to have its own procedure for any developmental issues.

What you describe does sound reasonably positive -as in people appear to be trying to do things - obviously of course the next concern is whether it's the right person doing the right things, and it's a shame that today's meeting seems to have left you in the dark a bit...

[Wallace]

Sorry can't help but there will be someone who can. Bumping for you.

If you can find your original thread at all, maybe you could post on that with a link to this thread so people who have helped before will recognise the thread and check to see an update?

[PandaG]

I can't help with the majority of your queries, even though I am the SENco at my preschool.

inclusion manager - well that could be the new name for SENCo - inclusion is the new term for including people with differing needs and abilities afaik.

LEA won't have a SENCo as such I don't think, but will have special needs advisors - the senco in your setting will have a contact for one

[MrsMattie]

Found it!

[HairyMaclary]

Just briefly asI'm suppsed to be writing an essay! If you can try and have either the next meeting without DS and/or get someone (DH if he's free but I use my Mum) to come along with you, either to keep an eye on Ds or make notes. If you can get that, especially the note taking, it makes them a bit more careful and clear about what they are saying and means that you have time to think if you know that someone else is writing it down.
I'm not really sure about all these names as we have different titles here but on thing to be aware of is that they are all funded by the LEA and for them the bottom line is funding. They may well be, and often are, lovely people, but you will need to do all the chasing, asking etc and always push for more support. I'm sorry to sound so depressing but it really is an area where it pays to think that you are on your own but to take any advice or info you get from anyone and use it to your own ends. It's hard when you don't even know what those ends are though!
Parent wupport advisor will be a good person to get things going, they are there to advise parents but are still funded by the LEA, don't be put off applying for a statement by them if they say something like 'oh the lea aren't really giving new statements at the moment!'

Finally it might pay to post on the SN section, we all hae experince of this and it is busier than here!

HTH

[callmeovercautious]

Have read poth threads.

I have no specialist knowledge but on the "what to ask":

List all of the terms and job titles and ask right at the start for them all to explain their role and any terms they have used so far you have not understood.

Then ask them to outline the process that will be followed.

Once you know all that you will be able to give the right information to the right person and ask the appropriate person any other questions that crop up. Ask them for a card or contact number/email so you can ask anything you think about after the meeting.

If DH is coming along get him to take notes of the answers they give to your questions. Or vice versa!

Hope that helps - good luck for the meeting

[Clayhead]

I am not an expert but there are some things I have learnt through working at a pre-school.

I think it is good that the nursery are doing all of this now as if it turns out any help is needed the earlier any paperwork is kicked of the better; if it doesn't it can all be withdrawn.

Sometimes the obvious is suggested (your reference to the step) as it has to be seen and documented that different types of strategies have been tried and not worked, IYSWIM. This may just be our county or could apply to other places, not sure!

HTH

[mrsturnip]

Things like inclusion manager are just made up titles and will mean different things in different LEAs. It would be entirely reasonable to ask them what their roles are.

I would write down the questions you have before the meeting. What help does your son need? Is it help at nursery AND at home? If so say that. Think about your concerns. Are you seeking a diagnosis? If you think he might need one its worth asking, sometimes pros wait for the go ahead from parents before they broach this. They should be able to refer you onto the correct person if this is a concern for you.

If they start with the obvious tell them 'yes we have done that consistently but it doesn't work with him, what else can you suggest?'

Good luck!

[mrsturnip]

will just add to cats post that depending on who you see some parent support advisors (actually most these days) are LEA funded and that can make a difference in my experience. Again feel free to ask but if you want independent advice the people to ask are IPSEA (google and you'll get it) - you may not be at that stage yet (or ever) though.

[MrsMattie]

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to reply. I really appreciate it so much! Thanks cat for all your info - great!

The GP we saw was a very sensible woman, I thought. She said to me 'I am not qualified to make a diagnosis, but I genuinely do not believe that your son has ADHD, Dyspraxia, any kind of ASD etc.'. She thought we had good cause to push to get him diagnosed as G&T, and that we needed to get together with the nursery to work on strategies to curb his 'unhelpful' behaviour both at home at nursery (he is like this in all settings, by the way. I have a very hard time with him at home and in any social setting, too ).

All I really want to do is to help my son . He seems sp unable to cope with not getting his own way, and to deal with his emotions full stop, really. I will do whatever it takes to help him, but what form that help should take - statements etc? - I haven't figured out?

[Phoenix4725]

come post on special needs board not saying has or has not but theres lots of helpfull people on their