My first doubts about mainstream..

[ShinyHappyRocketsGoingBANG]

DS is in Y3. We have just had our first parents evening which was the first time we'd met his Y3 teacher. (He goes to school on transport and she has made no attempts to introduce herself even though I'd written a little intro in his contact book. His one-to-one writes in it daily.. same one as last school year - she is fab.. but previous class teachers have occasionally written me notes. Not this one)

I was not impressed by his teacher. Talking to her was like pulling teeth. I had to keep dredging up questions to provoke her into talking. She just sat there and looked at me. Perhaps she didn't want to be there (I couldn't attend on actual parents evening night so have had this appointment a few weeks.. she offered it at my request!), perhaps she thinks DS shouldn't be in her class/the school.. perhaps she is just crap. who knows?!

I am trying to put that out of my mind. After all, most of DS's work is sorted by his 1-1 anyway.. she adapts it as necessary and is excellent. But the jump from infants to juniors is immense. I can't ignore the fact that he is doing little of what the others are doing, even a modified version and a lot of the time he is doing different stuff completely... he even spends time in the nursery using their sensory room as a reward to good behaviour. I can't decide whether I think that's ok or not!

The plan is to very gradually move him into a special school over the next few years. One pm a week this year (Y3), one day a week in Y4, then more and more until he is there more than he is at his current school, just attending mainstream on an outreach basis and then finally into the special school full time for Y7. The special school have yet to agree to this although quite where they expect him to go, if he isn't where he is know, I don't know!

What I am wondering is if the process should be quicker. We didn't put him in mainstream because we felt that there was where he should go regardless of his needs, I lm not that pro-inclusion! (he is probably the most disabled in the school.. but it does hold beacon status for inclusion); it just seemed the most suitable at the time.

Now I just don't know. Most of the homework that comes home now I find I am unsure how to approach in a way he can understand. The classroom is not very DS-friendly. .even the chairs/tables are too big for him now/ I know that sort of thing can be easily rectified, but is hasn't been so far. School have just purchased Clicker 5 for him to use on the computer.. but if he had been going to the other school he probably would have been using it for ages.

He is happy and quite settled at his school and his behaviour is a lot better there than it is at home. And I think continuity is v.important too.. but I am wondering if he could be achieving more at the special school. Is he missing out by continuing in mainstream? His SENCO would say no (she is also the Inclusion Officer and very enthusastic and energetic!) and to be fair she knows his v.well (has been his class teacher too for 2 of his school years) and his Head thinks the gradual move-over plan is the way to go - already discussed it with her.. she is helping us out a lot with an ongoing housing issue we have re DS so speak ro her a lot.. and I don't think I care what his class teacher thinks.. her opinions seem irrelevent if she even has any! I just feel confused and unsure about what is best for him.

Anyone else got/had these issues?

[yurt1]

We tried mainstream for the same reasons as you. OUr life, and ds1's life improved dramatically when he switched to special school. The understanding was key, and also the school now try and help us.

So so so much easier and better for ds1. he calmed right down starting special. And behavioural problems are now in check. At mainstream he was seen as an animal/monster. At special he's seen as easy going and sweet.

I think gradual introductions can be good, but as soon as it becomes apparent its the right choice I'd push to move him across asap. Gradual is nice as you can try it out. Once you have a toe in you might be able to speed up the transition anyway.

Good luck.

[ShinyHappyRocketsGoingBANG]

Thank you Yurt. I read you are doing another PhD!! respect! What in.. and what do you already have one in? I am limping painfully through an OU degree... blaming DS for my lack of dedication! You are ruining my excuse!

Has anyone else any views or experiences re the school thing please?