School anxiety; how to handle it?

(2 Posts)
franincisco Fri 16-Sep-16 13:49:53

Posted in Chat but thought i'd give it a go here too.

A bit of a complex situation; ds 7 (Y3) has started school for the first time two weeks ago. He was born with a genetic syndrome, had lots of health problems and for various reasons I decided to home school him. I had concerns about him (academically) and tried to get a EP assessment but this had proved difficult (I suppose because he wasn't in school) Due to this I decided to put him in school this year, we got a place back in June but waitied until September.

He was never keen to go, wanted to stay with me but got excited about new shoes, schoolbag etc. First day a few tears, but this has increased and this morning he got into a complete panic saying he couldn't do it, thought I was going to get murdered shock and he just wanted to stay at home. He crawled into a cupboard that i can't get into so I was actually going to give him the day off, but i managed to persuade him to go in if I got him out early today (just by 15 minutes, which i'm sure will come across as really precious to the teacher) Really struggled at school door, he kept repeating that he couldn't do it, day was too long, was really sad etc. I walked him up to his class and his teacher just took his hand and led him away.

Sorry for long post...... back story I have an older child with same syndrome who went on to develop an anxiety disorder that started regarding school. I am not going to let this develop as I did with dc 1 (who i used to take in kicking and screaming) but I'm not sure how/what I should do? From their POV he is new to school and needs time. From my POV he has genuine anxiety, isn't eating/sleeping. School have already put put IEP in place for academic side but not sure what I should do regarding anxiety? I don't want to come across as an overbearing mother but at the same time I will not put ds through what dc1 went through.

Any advice/thoughts welcome, it is making me anxious with worry.

1tsonlyme Fri 16-Sep-16 21:20:05

Same here but it was right from the start initially but got worse in year 2. It started taking myself and staff up to an hour in the morning to get my DS4 in to the school, that's if I could get him out of the car to get him to the school doors.
The school tried everything to get him in, until after a year I couldn't stand it any more and neither could he, so we took him out of school to home educate him.
Three years down the line he has been diagnosed with autism, he has also got a genetic abnormality but so far nobody else has it.
He was terrible my lovely boy had disapeared, he wasn't sleeping and eating either, he has stomach ache feeling sick. He was anxious stressed and at the end couldnot function properly and talked about wanting to kill himself.
It took a good 12 months for him to heal properly. For us home education was the best option and over the last couple of years lots of things have come out that happened in school during that time which may have contributed to his anxiety and stress.

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