I apologise now, I think this will end up lengthy. I'm not even sure I'm posting in the right place.
DD is 3 and has started nursery.
I didn't tell them any of the 'quirks' I've noticed with DD as I wanted to see if they picked up on them.
I've spoken to friends and relatives about DD, but they don't seem to see what I see, they are not with her 24/7.
DH does see some of it, but I don't think he really 'gets it' if you see what I mean, he tries.
Some of the things I've noticed with DD are:
A seeming sensory issue with foods, ever since weaning, she can't seem to manage certain foods, I don't think it's just 'fussiness'
She's better now than she was, and will try everything at least, but she can't seem to cope with food that has a lot of texture.
She flaps her arms and rolls around when excited, or when you are trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do (like leave nursery the other day)
She bites/pinches herself, not in anger, but just because. She'll do it when she is perfectly happy.
She is very forward (sorry if that sounds like bragging) and is excelling in learning based activities, numbers/letters/colours/shapes etc. She is learning to read and write. She asks precocious questions, I had to explain the water cycle to her one night for example.
She screams, anger/happiness/fright etc, all invoke the same reaction.
She needs very little sleep, and is getting worse at going to bed at night, and still getting up silly o'clock in the morning. She is often up in the middle of the night too.
She gets obsessive over one toy/plate/cup/movie for weeks on end, then will suddenly obsess over another one.
She talks about herself in 3rd person, and often seems to be having conversations with herself, she will even talk in one voice, then another when answering herself.
She doesn't often play with toys, she'd rather 'learn'
When she does play, everything has to be very neat and ordered. Everything has to go back in it's right place (though she probably gets that from me as I am very particular about things being put back, although not with toys, I always tidy the toys up after the kids have gone to bed)
She cannot seem to sit still, or at least very very rarely will she do so, she always seems to be fidgety.
She hasn't had a tantrum in a while, but she was quite a lot at one point, and she'd fly into such a fit of rage the only way to stop it was to sort of pin her into a cuddle with her arms at her sides so she couldn't move/hit herself etc (I know that sounds really bad)
I know there are other things that will come to me later...
I didn't tell the nursery approx half of these things, as I want to see if they flag any of them up as a cause for concern...
I did speak to a GP, who didn't brush it off, but didn't seem concerned either. She said to wait and see what happens when she goes to nursery.
I was speaking to an acquaintance about it all earlier today and she thinks I should have told the nursery everything, whereas I think if I told them everything and it turns out she is NT I feel like a fool, plus like I've wasted time with them looking for something that isn't there, BUT if they flag up a cause for concern, I can then go back to GP with it, and see where we can go from there.
She has only been there a week, and DDs keyworker has already asked me about the flapping/rolling around, and the talking in 3rd person.
They haven't mentioned the talking to herself yet.
I did tell them about her biting herself, in case she did it to another child (She has never bitten another child in 3 years) so they could watch out for it.
And I told them about the fidgeting, so they were aware for things like circle time.
I didn't tell them much about her learning abilities, other than the form I had to fill out that asked a few questions such as what colours does she know, how many numbers etc. And within 2 days 3 keyworkers had commented to me about how forward she is, the fact that she recognises words in books, how articulate she is (she can hold a conversation like an adult) etc.
So the nursery do seem to be on the ball, which is great.
But after speaking to said acquaintance this afternoon, she made me feel really bad that I'd not brought some of these things up with the keyworkers.
Should I have?
I'm conflicted, because although I feel a bit bad now, I still think that I've had results doing it my way? They've picked up on some of the things without me telling them. I feel like someone might listen to me now when I tell them that I think DD isn't NT.
Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.
SEN
an AIBU. Not telling nursery my suspicions, to see if they notice anything 'different' about DD
OhHelpOhNoItsaGrufallo · 13/09/2015 21:00
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Just checked my 'I'm on' list and realised I have a new reply.
DD is settling in fantastically at nursery, her speech is very much improving.
We still have many 'quirks' but nursery don't seem to be worried at the moment. We have a couple of things we are 'keeping an eye on' and seeing how they progress. The rolling and flapping for example, the talking to herself and talking of herself in 3rd person. But staff at the nursery are not too concerned at this point.
She is much better with other children and their invasion of 'her' space now, and has accepted that children don't always ask before they take something (she is used to her older brothers, who always ask to join in etc)
DD has been put in a group with other children like herself, and they do a lot of learning based activities, reading, signing etc. which DD loves. They are getting an interactive whiteboard too which I think DD will be thrilled with (Her keyworker even used DD as an example of her reasoning for wanting one)
I definitely don't regret not telling them everything, as if nothing else, it has shown me just how on the ball her nursery is. They have picked out some of the issues themselves, and are helping me keep an eye on them. They are really working with me on various issues. Very happy with my choice of nursery so far.
I'm just hoping we end up as happy with our choice for our boys secondary school that we are choosing this month! 
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