Help please - possible ASD/SPD

[AlwaysDancing1234]

For quite a long time now I've been worried about DS (age 7, nearly 8).

He's always been a highly sensitive child, has a tendency to overanalyse things and get very emotional and worried about things.

As he's gotten older I've started to see more and more behaviours which I think might point towards some sort of sensory processing disorder or high functioning autism/aspergers

He has so many little 'quirks' and anxieties, things which on their own might seem like nothing but all add up to create a bigger problem which now seem to be taking over his day to day life.

He's academically able, although handwriting is terrible. He's usually near or at the top of the class but he has such lot of anxiety about school and life in general.

Problem is apparently I'm the only one who thinks anything is wrong. I've raised it many times with husband who says its normal or I'm making too much of it. I mentioned last night that DS has lots of red flags and he said "well according to you" like I'm making it up. I reiterated many times that I think DS needs more support, especially school as he's now missed 5 out of the last 10 school days. (Migraine/upset tummy mainly due to anxiety) DH thinks I'm over reacting. School haven't raised any issues but I think DS holds it together most of the day then when he gets home he feels safe and secure enough to "let go" and the emotions and worries all come pouring out. I feel if we just ignore this we are not doing the best for DS by denying him help which I think he needs. DH works in primary education and deals a lot with children with SEN & ASD so I can't understand why he can't/won't see it in his own child.

What can I do? Should I be talking to school teacher/SENCO even though DH says no need???

[AlwaysDancing1234]

I can give many specific examples of DS quirks and anxieties but I thought the above post is long enough already!

[WhatKatyDidToday]

Talk to the SENCo, raise your concerns and ask them to observe your child in class. Ask her to suggest ways you can help support their learning at home

[AlwaysDancing1234]

Thanks for your reply, it's made tricky as DH works in the school DS goes to and doesn't seem to think there is a problem. I mentioned talking to SENCO but DH dismissed the idea. As he works in the school I can't do it without DH knowing. I guess I'll have to keep on at DH. Also just SENCO observing for half an hour may not bring anything up as DS difficulties can not be immediately obvious. I wonder if an ed psyc or someone might be better??

[Toooldforthat]

FWIW I think DHs are utterly rubbish at spotting anything wrong with their own DCs as this threatens something deep in their psyche, not sure what exactly. If your DC is holding everything together at school, they might not spot anything though, schools are usually concerned when there is a dip in results or disruptive behaviour. Educational psychologists have a long waiting list on the NHS and need to be referred by the school. A private one might spot anxiety/self esteem issues together with hand writing difficulties, and the more obvious dyslexia/dyscalculia etc, and could suggest a referral to occupational therapy, but are usually not qualified for diagnosing ASD. The GP might be the first port of call if you want to push this further.