How can I tell if my child is doing ok?

[lisilou]

My son is 6 and in year 2. He is on a long list waiting for assessment at the communication disorder assessment clinic but has been seen by CAMHS and pead all who suggest he is on the autistic spectrum. Assessment will tell where. He is in mainstream school. When he was in reception the school senco approached me to tell me she had seen my son in class and he stood out from the rest, now at that time I had just found the courage to approach my GP about his problems (obsessions, tantrums etc). She did an early screening for dyslexia and he came out as med/high at risk of being dyslexic. She retired a month later and the senco is now the head (something I don't agree with!) I understand he won't be tested for dyslexia until he is 7. He has had SALT who said his understanding was about 20 months behind what it should be. This explained why he found it so hard to follow instructions. He then said that when the teacher talks to the class he can't remember what she had said once she had gone on to the next thing. School agreed to treat him as if he has aspergers as we are still waiting diagnosis. I am constantly in the school trying to get them to understand DS. He has had to be carried kicking and screaming into school almost everyday since going back, although I am told once he has calmed down he is ok. I am worried about his reading and writing. He seems to have made such little progress. He is only just been put on to level one books (which state on the back they have a guided age of 4-4 1/2) He is 6. I have tested him on the list of reception words he is supposed to know by now. There were 45 and he only read 15 confidently, a further 12 he sounded out but it took a long time. I have written to his teacher to explain this but have had no feedback. i am waiting for parents eve next week. His writing is poor. He can write his name and a few other words like mum but that is it. He has an IEP but this is for his social skill problem not education side. Obviously I am having trouble comparing if he is really behind and they are sweeping it under the carpet, as they have a lot of things. Or is he doing ok. Can anyone give me some advice please. He also has a autism advisory teacher that comes in and outreach support. He gets no extra help and support at school because the head says until he is diagnosed they can't get funding, not sure how true that is.
Thanks.

[Tia]

You poor thing - it sounds very stressful. It seems like you need someone to guide you through all the hazards of trying to get help for your son. Have you had a meeting with the class teacher, or just written a letter? It is harder to ignore someone in front of you! I think you are going to have to push and push for the help that your son needs.

[sorrell]

As the parent of a child with Aspergers, can I recommend Jolly Phonics as a brilliant reading scheme - easy to do at home when you have the books. Does he likes books? If he does that is fantastic and you have a good foundation for the next stage of learning to read. BTw, when it comes to getting a statement you can apply yourself. The school doesn't have to be involved. Schools can be utterly crap.

[sorrell]

Do you have other children? could you have him at home with you more?

[lisilou]

Thanks for your replies.
As this is his new teacher I have only approached her very quickly a couple of times. She has been thoroughly filled in by his last teacher but it takes time to understand what stresses him out. She has already witnessed him having a big tantrum/meltdown after school a week ago and I think this shocked her. I wrote the letter because i found from previous experience if you put it in writing it has to be addressed. I have spoken to her about it and she said we will discuss it at parents eve next week.
sorrell, he loves to look at informative books, you know things like history books etc. He has a big interest in the war at present but he doesn't enjoy reading. Thinking about it I am wondering if it is the content of the book he finds boring. He is frustrated he can't read but every evening it is a battle to get him to sit still. He constantly jumps up and down. rocks and is so fidgetty that it takes so long. I can't see how a teacher could teach him anything as he has the attitude he knows everything, he can't be told as his answer is he knows (even if he clearly doesn't)
I also have another boy who is 3. He has just been referred to the multidisiplinary team as I have concerns about his behaviour also. So at present i could not devote any extra time to DS1 as I have DS2 who is permanantly attached to me!!
The reading scheme you mentioned, is this something I could buy to help him at home?

[peachygirl]

Hi I teach children with SEN who are working at very similar levels to your son and I wonder if some symbols might help your son to work out what is happening during the day. For example a symbol for sitting on the carpet then one for work and one for playtme. I use this system lots in my room to help the children understand the daily timetable.
You could also encourage the teacher to use the phrase 'first and next/then' as in first you are going to listen to the story and next/then you will do some writing/table work. Again this can be consolidated with symbols. Both these strategies can be set up by your SALT/ autism outreach service but if you have problems I could print out some for you and send them on. There are other Mumsnetters who are very familiar with symbols and have the computer program at home who I'm sure would also help.
This can also be used at home e.g first bath then bed etc etc