could my son have aspergers?

(9 Posts)
peppajay Mon 01-Oct-12 14:01:40

My son started reception last month and I have just had the dreaded 'can I have a word...." from the teacher was expecting it at some point as he can be very aggressive towards other children and he just does it randomly for no reason. Today he just walked round the classroom and hit 5 children for no reason apparently he did it thurs and fri as well. On an outward level he settled in really well and loves going to school altho since the second week he has changed his sleeping pattern and is now not falling asleep till 8 or 830 and waking up between 530 and 6 so he must be shattered (no excuse for his behaviour tho). He loves routine and thrives on it and hates change and I thought as did pre school he would find it extremely difficult to settle in so is this his way of showing us he is finding it tough. I have spoke to him about the hitting and he isn't taking it seriously he is not allowed to watch 2 new programs he wanted to watch on cbeebies this afternoon and he is having no chocalate after his lunch or tea but he isnt bothered never is with any punishments he doesn't seem to get the concepts of what is right and wrong and just accepts punishments and said 'never mind i'll just play then and watch it in 3 days on the computer when i've been good, because I might still do it on tues and wed and stop on thurs!!!! He says things like this all the time!!

I do have and have had my suspisions that he possibly has Aspergers as he is very different to all his peers and I think my DH probably has it as he suffered socially and academically at school and still has problems now which he can manage now but found his school life very hard and still finds some very simple things in life a struggle!!!

On a general day to day basis he is a very easy child, he is very bright and needs to be constantly stimulated if he is around other children, otherwise he does start hitting, poking etc but I don't want him to be seen as the naughty boy. So I am thinking this behaviour could either be down to his tiredness (altho he isn't showing it!!), which is down to the change of routine, which could be down to Aspergers.

I am not making excuses for his behaviour but I do think it could be down to something more than just plain naughtiness. Is it too early to mention my concerns to the teacher?

Many teachers are simply not skilled or trained enough to recognise many children with additional support needs. School also cannot diagnose at all.

How are the school dealing with him currently, are they keeping a close eye on him in class?. Is the SENCO aware of him?.

What was he like at preschool in terms of socialisation?.

I would ask your GP to refer your son to a developmental paediatrician for further evaluation. For his sake as well as yours you need to know why this is happening. Your suspicions may well not be unfounded at all and certainly need further investigation.

You are truly his best - and only - advocate here. No-one is better placed than you to fight his corner for him, this is also because no-one else will.

Would also suggest you post on the Special Needs;Children part of this website as that particular forum receives far more daily traffic than this one does.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Wed 03-Oct-12 20:54:37

You say he's very different to his peers...how? It's not an indication of Aspergers to be having problems settling and controlling temper.

Kleinzeit Fri 05-Oct-12 12:22:06

There are two routes. One, you can share your concerns with the teacher and ask the school to call in the educational psychologist. Two, you can go to your GP and ask for a referral (which may be to a pediatritian or directly to a clinical child psychologist, depending where you live) You can do both – DS’s school actually suggested doing both because both have waiting lists and it was a matter of who would see us first. smile

Being concerned that you son might have Asperger’s is not making excuses for him. If he does have Asperger’s (or any other special needs for that matter!) then finding out will give you a handle on how to minimise his aggression in future. For example there are ways to manage change for Aspie kids – not perfect but they can make a big difference.

DS has Asperger's and his nursery didn’t notice anything unusual at all – his leaving report started “BabyKleinzeit is a happy friendly boy”. With hindsight there were signs but nothing definite – he was tantrummy and needed routine but then don’t many toddlers? The problems only started to really show with big aggressive outbursts when he had to deal with the demands of primary school. It turns out he also has high-level communication difficulties, but they weren’t at all obvious until he was assessed. Among many other things, the ped asked "can you tell me what time it is?" and he said yes. Twice. Then she asked what time it was, and he looked at the clock and told her. Classic!

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 05-Oct-12 12:25:27

try this

having to read and run but will try to get back later.....

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 05-Oct-12 12:29:59

ds wasnt diagnosed until he was almost 8, and only then because no one could keep saying "oh, he'll grow out of it".

interestingly ive just found an adult version of the australian scale.....

adult version here

My DS was picked up as having Aspergers in Reception. Nothing that I've read in your OP would make me sit up and take notice as it doesn't automatically say Aspergers to me.

However, since no one can diagnose over the internet, I'd suggest the following steps so you can get him formally asessed.

1. Speak to the school and outline your concerns - be specific. Ask if they have any concerns themselves and whether they could get an ed psyc involved.

2. Go to your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician or other childrens service that can assess him for ASD / Aspergers.

You also need to think about how you are disciplining your DS as even if you have an Aspergers diagnosis, it doesn't mean that the hitting and poking can be ignored or excused. Instead you may need to find different ways of handling it. Aspies can work better with visual clues, so a reward chart where he can see whether he has been good with a reward at the end may work better than sanctions. Not being allowed to watch TV and not getting chocolate don't sound very useful. Taking something away that he likes for a few days may well work better too.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 05-Oct-12 22:42:27

i posted the australian scale simply as an aid - not to diagnose btw.

i went to Elizabeth Newton in Nottingham after having several assesments by various professionals who all stated they thought it was AS but would not commit to writing it down.

DS saw various people, including speech and language therapists, occupational therapists, educational psychologist, clinical psychologist and a peadiatrician with specialism in ASDs.

eventually we were referred to Liz Newton by my GP.

Diagnosis takes professional assessment.

ClairLou Sun 14-Oct-12 13:43:10

What has made you think aspergers? My four year old is an aspie and what you've described could be a million things or nothing. Is there something else that is pointing you in this direction?
Does he make eye contact, does he flap or make other repetitive gestures, does he use language in a social way, does he repeat what you or others say regularly? All aspies have different traits but if you're saying yes to a few of those then maybe aspergers. I can see the bit about the routine though.
Honestly, whether its aspergers or something else the earlier you get him some help the better, and the less stressful for you so talk to his teachers or your gp about your concerns.
Hope it all works out.
Oh and agree with Keema, reward charts are good for us. :-)

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