Baby will not sleep. She's had 12 hours in the past two days.

(42 Posts)
GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 14:53:36

DH and I are in despair. DD (7mo) has never been sleeping ttn but has been waking just a few times and usually resettling ok after a feed. Over the last couple of weeks things have got worse, and worse, and worse, and worse until last night we were awake from 1am till 6am trying to get her off.

By the book we have a good bedtime routine, bath, story, feed, sing. She used to settle herself after we sang to her but doesn't any more. I've been sat next to the cot for about two hours now trying to get her to nap. She has bags under her eyes and must be so overtired but she won't sleep. I've tried rocking her, white noise, singing, patting, shushing etc etc etc but she won't sleep. She just won't sleep.

Georgethesmartestgiant Sat 12-Oct-13 16:08:02

Hope she is now asleep for you. If not could you try taking her out in the pushchair or car ? I know it's only a temporary solution but may give you a bit of respite.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 16:30:38

Thanks George. Not sure DH or I trust ourselves to drive but we may try that tomorrow! (And no, still no sleep yet...)

Could she be teething?

And yes, the pushchair might work.

Like us, they can get overtired, and then be unable to fall asleep ...

Aquariusgirl86 Sat 12-Oct-13 16:50:20

Have you tried playing white noise? Worked a treat for both my children. You can down load apps or get a cd.
And also I feel for you, I have two insomniac toddlers :-P x

silverangel Sat 12-Oct-13 18:28:57

Take her for a walk in the pyuschair, I know its the last thing you want to do when exhausted but needs must and all that. I remember putting DT1 in the puschair one night and walking round and round in circles in the garden when she would NOT sleep AT ALL. When she finally nodded off I spent the night on the sofa while she slept in the buggy as there was no way I was risking putting her back in the cot.

Have ytou tried calpol?

silverangel Sat 12-Oct-13 18:28:57

Take her for a walk in the pyuschair, I know its the last thing you want to do when exhausted but needs must and all that. I remember putting DT1 in the puschair one night and walking round and round in circles in the garden when she would NOT sleep AT ALL. When she finally nodded off I spent the night on the sofa while she slept in the buggy as there was no way I was risking putting her back in the cot.

Have ytou tried calpol?

noblegiraffe Sat 12-Oct-13 18:35:18

Car, pushchair, sling. You need to pull out the big guns, shushing, patting, singing are for when they are sleeping well.
When they are overtired, unfortunately it is harder for them to fall asleep and to stay asleep, so you're going to have to force her to.

If she seems distressed, calpol and teething gel are also worth a punt.

IComeFromALandDownUnder Sat 12-Oct-13 18:37:11

Hoover? Works for me when I am desperate.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 18:52:49

Thanks guys. I guess we need to force ourselves out then. Tried Calpol and teething gel last night, no discernable effect, also a variety of white noises. Maybe I'll dose DH up with caffeine so we can go for a drive!

As we'd say in our house 'take it from the top'

Clean nappy, comfy loose bed wear, full feed, white noise and movement (rocking chair, car, buggy, sling)

Our dd1 was a horrendous sleeper, I feel your pain

YourStoryTime Sat 12-Oct-13 19:20:13

Try giving her a warm bath and clean sheets - it works a treat for us! :-)

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 20:35:47

In the car, baby finally asleep!! Heading for home now I just hope she doesn't wake when we stop...

Have you just started weaning her? nything new in the diet? Just wondering.

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 12-Oct-13 20:40:40

Have you tried stroking inbetween her eyes just above the nose?

SoulTrain Sat 12-Oct-13 20:46:51

Totally read that above comment as "stocking her between the eyes" was very shock.

I know it might not be what you want to do, but what would happen if you laid down with her in the dark? You might all get some sleep. They just get so overtired and don't know how to come back from it.

Hope you all have a more restful night.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 21:10:19

She slept for 40 mins in the car then woke up as we got home. sad sad sad

I had started solids but have stopped again in case that was the problem. Yep we've tried the nose stroke thing. I actually wore that one out with her when she was a bit younger, now she just thinks it's funny hmm

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 21:12:33

Really appreciating all the suggestions and solidarity by the way! Hope I don't sound dismissive it's just we really are reaching the end of our tether...

Andcake Sat 12-Oct-13 21:17:00

Ds was the same at round 6 mo. we broke it by DP sleeping in a different room and ds coming in the big bed with me for a few nights. Ds slept 8-6 without waking!
Just google safe co sleeping first

adagio Sat 12-Oct-13 21:29:18

I read somewhere (maybe here) that baby sleep cycle is about 45 minutes, and it seems to be true - if I get home at about 45 mins into a nap then no chance of transfer; 20 mins in can work (sometimes).

I second the walk in the pram - then park in hall approach; or co sleeping. In times of desperation I do find my sleep-breathing on her face keeps the baby asleep longer.

Oh and less PC - piriton syrup, perhaps a load of wine if you are BF

good luck and chin up x

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 12-Oct-13 22:27:51

Hmm might have a go at pram and/or co sleeping tonight then. She's fallen asleep on me now, we're 50 mins in and counting. The more she sleeps the less overtired she'll be and then things will get better, right? <hopeful>

Waswondering Sat 12-Oct-13 22:32:59

Could she be hungry if you're no longer doing solids?

Hope she sleeps tonight! Good luck ..

magicstars Sat 12-Oct-13 23:19:56

The only way we ever got our over-tired dd off to sleep is with motion as she was always getting over tired and forcing herself not to sleep. It was relentless, I really feel for you brew
she is now 18months and will self settle in her cot at night with a light show which also plays music, but we still take her out in the pushchair or car for naps and probably will for as long as she needs to sleep during the day.
Have you read or watched happiest baby on the block? Good tips there.
If it will save you sanity, just take her out in the pushchair and try to ignore the 'rod for your own back' comments from nosy neighbours!
Have you tried music? We have a love/hate relationship with one nursery rhyme cd that dd adores, we have heard it so many times but it works wonders to settle her.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 13-Oct-13 00:00:20

I've been breastfeeding every chance I get to try and make sure she's not hungry but it is a possibility- she was blw though so not that many solids were going in to begin with.

Magicstars- the neighbours would probably offer to take a turn pushing after the night we had last night!! We have tried singing to her. I am not sure if a droned, out of tune 'Twinkle, Twinkle' counts as music though so we could try something nicer, thanks for the tip.

We're two hours and counting into this sleep in my arms so I am desperately praying that will help the deadlock.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 13-Oct-13 00:01:47

> help break the deadlock!

adagio Sun 13-Oct-13 00:18:10

Thinking of you OP!

2 hours is great - based on 45min chunks she is now into number 3 and hopefully will stay asleep another hour before stirring again.

Hope you are on the bed or something to doze a bit x

another that has helped my sanity is classical lullabies for babies download on iTunes - 39 tracks, long playtime, Its running in the background now for me

noblegiraffe Sun 13-Oct-13 00:18:23

If you're breastfeeding, does feeding to sleep not work?

BumgrapesofWrath Sun 13-Oct-13 00:21:20

Both mine have been terrible sleepers between 6 and 12 months!

Have you tried not trying? What we've started to do when DS2 wakes up, is I feed him (but he doesn't seem to feed to sleep anymore), and then DH goes and gets comfy with him on the sofa. They mostly watch documentaries! He will then fall asleep of his own accord after an hour.

We started doing this as actively trying to get him to sleep just wasn't working, and at least this way we can all relax (if we don't think too hard about what little sleep we're getting)

Another positive is DH can watch his boring documentaries without inflicting them on me. When I do sofa cuddles I get to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm in relative peace!

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 13-Oct-13 00:46:36

Thanks adagio will make a note of that! 3 hours and counting, unfortunately we're on the sofa but at least she's sleeping.

Noble, I wish feeding to sleep worked! She used to be pretty much out for the count after a night feed, but the last week she wakes again after 20 mins unless she's in my arms. I can't think of anything we changed...

Bumgrapes if the pushchair doesn't work I think we'll try that, thank you.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 13-Oct-13 00:49:26

God I'm tired, just saw this thread in active convos and thought 'oh wow, someone's in the same boat as us!'

minipie Sun 13-Oct-13 11:20:42

oh poor you. it will be overtiredness pure and simple that is stopping her sleeping. and yes the more sleep you get into her the better it will get.

I agree with noblegiraffe that you need the big guns - motion motion motion. white noise and swaddling and nose stroking and even feeding to sleep are for when they're not overtired, they will not work at the moment IME.

I used to take multiple long walks a day whenever dd got overtired - i would walk for 1-2 hours at a time, 2 or 3 times a day - it would take her up to 30 mins to drop off (because she was fighting it) and I would then not dare stop at all (as she would wake) until she'd had at least an hour's nap. This was Not Fun especially in bad weather but it did work. It took a few days of this and then she would be much much better (for example she would not wake up when the pram stopped, so I could bring her home and park her in the hall). As a bonus I lost lots of weight too...

Can you try that? Safer than driving when you're tired and also more effective, since you don't have to stop the motion ever (if you need to wait to cross the road you can rock the pram while you wait) whereas a car needs to stop sometimes.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 13-Oct-13 15:50:17

Wow that sounds drastic! We had planned a trip out today but got put off by the hurling rain.

Well DD slept on me until about 2 and then on and off in her cot the rest of the night. She won't stay asleep for long though whether in cot, pram or carseat. So I only got about 2 hours sleep when you add it all together, but DH has helped me catch up a bit today!
She's napping on me again now, in the 'do whatever it takes to make her nap' spirit. I'm going to take her to the dr tomorrow to rule out any physical causes for why she won't lie down.

Thank you all so much for the help and support! thanks

duende Sun 13-Oct-13 17:06:05

Giraffes, could she have an ear infection maybe...? Hope you have a better day and a much better night tonight.

minipie Sun 13-Oct-13 18:09:09

yes it was pretty drastic grin but dd was screaming from overtiredness all evening (she was quite a bit younger than your dd) so it was either the long walks or screaming baby!

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 13-Oct-13 18:31:26

Duende, it sounds horrible of me but I am hoping there will be something like that that the dr can find and fix. I can see myself bursting into tears if the words 'just a phase' get used.

SoYo Sun 13-Oct-13 20:18:32

hi Giraffes,

We've just had 3 weeks of this hell with our 7mo. She's always been fed to sleep fairly easily and had never self settled and then suddenly she wouldn't feed to sleep, was waking every 30mins for an hour and walking her up and down etc wasn't working. I'd resorted to co-sleeping but I couldn't sustain it as my back's knackered and I was waking up in agony.

I was getting really miserable and not coping so trawled the mumsnet archives and found this thread which is saving our sanity. We're taking it very gently and we're on night 3 and she went down in 10mins. Last night she had 2 wakes and didn't feed until 5.30 which is just amazing. I was completely convinced it wouldn't work on my baby as I've tried plenty of things in the past but its just like she was ready. It might not be the right thing for you but just in case it works I couldn't not mention it!

GiraffesAndButterflies Mon 14-Oct-13 00:37:42

That's a very interesting thread SoYo!! Especially coinciding with the fact that earlier tonight I had to come up with a load of new things to sing (terrible rendition of Edelweiss, anyone?) as my current lullabies have become not just ineffective but now actually seem to make her cry, I think she has built up bad associations. So it would seem a good time to try something a bit different. <ponders>

Swanhilda Thu 17-Oct-13 00:08:52

I wonder whether she is just having a growth spurt and needs to feed more frequently because of it? Maybe add more blw in too? Good luck. At that age my los were eating three meals and breastfeeding too, so it could be what is making her restless. Sometimes patterns change for an obvious reason, even if the reason is different in different babies! (earache/food/separation anxiety/teeth....all those reasons)

GiraffesAndButterflies Thu 17-Oct-13 06:11:45

You may well be right Swanhilda. Over the last few days I've decided it's some combination of gas and hunger. Whenever she's steadfastly refusing to sleep it seems to be that she needs food or farts. Gripe water is helping a lot but not enough!

SoYo Fri 18-Oct-13 10:00:04

Giraffes just in case you have decided to try something and are in the difficult bit at the start, last night was day 8 for us. Madam went to sleep in 5mins at 7.30, woke at 4.45 for a feed and then went back down until 7.30. She's never ever slept that long or stayed in her cot all night. I hope you're making progress and feeling ok!

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 20-Oct-13 05:28:11

Wow SoYo that's fantastic. Congrats smile

We've seen a dramatic improvement after using gripe water and I'm a little bit unsure what issue to tackle next. I want to get dd on formula, I want to night wean her and we need to improve naps. At the moment she's taking ages to feed in the evening by which point she barely stays awake for the gripe water. So gradual retreat will be the plan once she feeds quickly enough to still be awake when she's finished!

kidinasweetshop Sun 20-Oct-13 05:46:23

To cheer you up, play Tim Minchin's 'lullaby' on YouTube for some dark sleeplessness humour smile

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