I need some help with DS 3.5yr sleeping.

(43 Posts)
TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Sat 27-Jul-13 21:09:36

He has always been an awful sleeper, not sleeping through the night, not going to bed, waking up at stupid o'clock. We have worked on it in a variety of ways through the years, nothing seems to work, apart from time, slowly he has improved his sleeping but he doesn't like being on his own when he sleeps. Dd and he now share a room and for a while it was hard works but in time this settled. He often comes in with us about 5am but goes back to sleep immediately and it's hugely better than when he used to wake at 5am for the day.

Recently thorough is bedtime routine has been thrown fully. It's probably stemming from, or made worse by sleeping in the car. If he sleeps in the car for even 5 mins any time of the day, his night routine is buggered and e goes to sleep at 10pm! Or even later. But Now, even without a nap in the car his bedtime sleeping is absolutely fucked.

He laughs and plays and winds his sister up, gets up and talks to me, cries. This evening he tried the 'I am scared, I need you to sleep with me, I will have bad dreams!' number on me, obviously didnt wash but he kept it up. I had to get DD up as he was upsetting her.

He is now asleep, having cried himself to sleep. Like most evenings at 9pm. I am just so fed up now. I get no time to myself. DD is exhausted, she is an early riser, and despite not going to sleep last night til 9.30pm due to her brother playing up, she was up at 6am. She is just 7 so needs more sleep! And did I mention no time to myself? None. I am so fucking tired as I don't sleep well any more (combination of pain due to back problem and 3 years of a boy who wakes me up at night). I wanted to sit quietly and drink a glass of wine and watch a film but I am too tired now. Have my wine but not enjoying it.

I just want to go away for a couple of days and get away from the constant harrowing bedtime routine which starts at 7pm and goes on for two hours or more.

Any suggestions?

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Sat 27-Jul-13 21:11:57

Oh and re going to sleep crying after saying he will have bad dreams, I am not a mean mummy, I went in, gave him a kiss and cuddle, told him I am just next door and there is nothing to be afraid of, then left immediately. Only went in once though.

wouldyoupleasemove Sat 27-Jul-13 22:11:24

Sympathy. We had the same with our DD and it was doing our head in. A second of a sleep and she was up til 10. Bedtime was two hours or more of agro and we had a newborn. Following recommendation on MN I bought a sleep cd of amazon. Its called Sleep sleep child. Very gentle hypnosis wrapped up in a story. If anything a bit old for my DD, 3. My DH was a bit sceptical but it is the best 12.50 I have ever spent. She asks for it now, put it on and walk out after a kiss. Down with out a cry or scream the majority of nights....
Truly brilliant

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Sun 28-Jul-13 07:25:24

D you know, DS loves music! And sometimes he has fallen asleep with music. Why didnt I think if that before as part of his routine? I even do it sometimes, but as a 'treat' as it involves the iPad! I don't have a CD player as we us the computer/devices and speakers for music, but I will look into buying a cheap one or an MP3 player and some speakers for their room. They will both love this and it just might work.

Thank you!

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Sun 28-Jul-13 07:26:15

My Dh will also be sceptical, but then, he is about most things that involve spending money wink

wouldyoupleasemove Sun 28-Jul-13 09:06:56

Ha ha. Well my DH is eating his words now. Sometimes after he leaves DD room after putting on the CD with just a goodnite kiss he says he would quite happily snog the 'lady' ( which is what my DD calls her). We listened to a little bit with her to start reducing the time we stayed in room although one time I fell asleep toogrin . I think my DD couldnt lull herself in a place to sleep.
We Dont talk to.her once CD is on other to say goodnite. Shes a very high energy child and got more so at the end of day with overtiredness. Best of luck

wouldyoupleasemove Sun 28-Jul-13 09:08:26

sorry for mistakes. I phone. Its callef Sleep sleep sleep now by Anna Rowe

BeesGoBuzzzzzz Sun 28-Jul-13 09:12:08

Hi, I feel your pain, I found story CDs worked well, just got some long ones that could be put on a loop.

You could probably get a CD player for a couple of quid at a car boot since so many people have ditched theirs.

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Mon 29-Jul-13 10:51:16

OK, I have just bought that cd from iTunes for £7.99 and going to get a CD player today. I so hope it works. I was pulling my hair out over the weekend grin

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Mon 29-Jul-13 21:07:14

I am reporting back.

The kids bedtime routine was a bit frought non existant as I had an important phone call right at bedtime. I heard DH chasing the children around the house trying to get them into bed just before 8pm as I finish my call.

8:26pm and I was drinking wine, on my own, in Utter Peace. With two fast asleep children in their own bed before the first story was even finished. Honestly, not even kidding about this, DS screamed that he didn't want it on, he wanted music, but the woman reading the story says something like 'now, get into your bed, snuggle down, and close your eyes because it's time to go to sleep' and my children immediately scampered and lay there, still as you like, listening! DD was pretty much asleep instantly as she was exhausted from too many disturbed nights and a busy day out with a friend. Literally instantly. DS was awake, holding his trains in his hands, playing gently with them while listening, but not moving other than his hands. I kissed them both, left the room, chatted with DH before he headed out for the evening, poured myself a glass of wine, checked on the children as DH left, and DS was asleep.

It is now 9.05pm and I am in bed myself! But, I don't have a stress headache. I don't have that tense throbbing in my ears and head from a drought 2 hours of bedtime. I feel bloody exhausted as DS was up lots last night, but, I am bloody impressed. I cannot remember the last time they have both gone to sleep without some attempt at staying up 'the light is too bright, it's too dark, i am thirsty, hungry, DD is keeping me awake, DS is keeping me awake, i need a wee, i need a poo, i need a cuddle, i am scared, will you sleep with me, i don't like the dark...' this is normally mostly DS. NONE of that. Not one. After the protest of not wanting it on, no words after the narrator starting talking. Not One!

wouldyoupleasemove Mon 29-Jul-13 21:17:32

I am utterly thrilledgrin grin
It is amazing. Sleep well tonight Xxx

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Mon 29-Jul-13 21:19:23

I think I might need it myself now. I am not used to going to bed without feeling cross grin

Clarella Mon 29-Jul-13 21:26:16

aw its so nice to read a sleep thread with a happy ending!

<makes mental note of cd for future reference> grin

wouldyoupleasemove Mon 29-Jul-13 21:34:34

Ha ha. 'Snuggle Down into your bed The Sun..., so cosy and warm'

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Mon 29-Jul-13 21:35:57

clarella it's a rare thing isn't it? A sleep thread with a positive, and quite immediate outcome. I have to remain slightly sceptical, as otherwise, if they don't go to bed tomorrow I shall crumble! I shall take this for what it is today, which is a rare treat to some real bedtime compliance, and if it happens again fab, but if not, least I got a night off...

but, I'm still blown away by it.

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Mon 29-Jul-13 21:37:23

wouldyou grin I would be asleep, but just remembered by contacts are still in, so i am doing that waiting that you do, knowing that all you are doing is putting of the inevitable of having to get up again...

wouldyoupleasemove Mon 29-Jul-13 21:48:33

5/7 nights it works I reckon. When it doesn't it is usually because of some outside issue (eg. a party and cake or similar). Report back tomorrow nite please The Sun..

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Tue 30-Jul-13 06:55:55

Get this. It is 6.52am. DD is still asleep. In The Same Position she went to sleep in. Not a peep. DS got up about 6:15am, into our bed. Back To Sleep. They are both asleep! I was expecting them both to be up around now at the very latest after going to bed almost on time! (They wer only out by about half hour and only because I was on the phone).

It's a miracle!

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Tue 30-Jul-13 07:07:41

Just heard a sleepy yawn from DDs bedroom. Nothing elsew yet! i shall expect a sticky up haired dozy girl any second.

mamij Tue 30-Jul-13 07:08:01

Amazing! Glad the CD works for you! I may need to get one for myself as DD1 (3.5 years) always calls one of us in the middle of the night to go to her.

wouldyoupleasemove Tue 30-Jul-13 07:11:22

Sleep breeds sleep especially in the overtime. Rubbish nite here as our DD wet the bed for the first time ever.......
Fingers crossed for tonight OP

wouldyoupleasemove Tue 30-Jul-13 07:11:53

over tired I meant

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Tue 30-Jul-13 07:22:56

That's been the prob wouldypu that vicious circle of them being so tired they can't easily sleep and the more tired, the more they wake in the night and the earlier they wake. I am hoping at the very least this breaks the cycle.

mamij definitely try it. Simply amazing. Both children are STILl asleep. It is possible tht Dh has put his iPhone on for ds upstairs, but Dh needs to get up now too so they must all be asleep!

I am going to put breakfast things out and put a fresh coffee on for Dh and then wake him up.

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Tue 30-Jul-13 07:24:57

wouldyou do you know why she wet the bed? Could she be coming down with something. Both my children have done that just as they are getting a bug. Dd has done this in the last year, followed by a stinking bug. Just a thought.

Hope you have a relaxing day today to make up for it.

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Tue 30-Jul-13 07:25:59

And, to add, they never ever wet the bed normally. So when they do, I pretty much know they are abut to get sick.

wouldyoupleasemove Tue 30-Jul-13 13:44:27

She may be coming down.with something. I am on pox watch.as her best friend had it. She loves drinking bath water and drank loads last night and milk etc. Normally she wakes for a wee but could have just not once...

TheCountessOlenska Tue 30-Jul-13 19:27:19

OMG that sounds amazing! i am buying it as soon as i've finished putting my over tired screaming 3 year old to bed!!

AllSWornOut Tue 30-Jul-13 21:42:04

How did it go tonight OP?

I am very tempted to get it as well as DC1 has got into some bad going to sleep habits (although not as bad as yours) and DC2 is due any time now so we're starting to get a bit worried ad to how to manage bedtimes for the two of them.

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Wed 31-Jul-13 09:12:10

I'm sorry I didn't post last night.

Last night was mixed, but there was a reason.

DS - he actually ASKED to go to bed and have the CD on when I said it was almost time for bed 'can I go to bed now mummy? put my story on?' He lay down with his bear in his hands, playing with it gently while listening to the music. He was asleep at 7:5PM!!! Slept all night woke very early but there is a reason.

DD - at 7:55 pretty much exactly (that's how I know DS was asleep) she got up out of bed, with a bit of blood coming from her mouth, all excited as she had just pulled her wobbly tooth out. DH was out, and she wouldn't settle, calm music or not until DH got back so she could show him (it's her second tooth but she swallowed her first one!). So she was all hyped up and excited about the tooth fairy coming. Then she woke early this morning to find the tooth fairy had been and woke her brother up with excitement grin

So. WOW again. There was NO fuss from DS. Not a murmur. It seems to good to be true. Which means it probably is, but we shall see <fingers crossed>

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Wed 31-Jul-13 09:13:06

oh and after the first night, they both slept until after 7:30am. grin

wouldyoupleasemove Wed 31-Jul-13 09:33:05

Well done OP's DS. For your DD the tooth I think can safely fall into the party/ cake category. I still wonder when it.will stop working. My DD did 8-8 last nite which would have been great for all except the baby is on a developmental leap and wanted to practise crawling between 3 and 5 amgrin

AllSWornOut Wed 31-Jul-13 10:09:14

Ooh, sounds like it want just a one off then. Think I might take a £12 risk on it then smile

wouldyoupleasemove Wed 31-Jul-13 14:03:58

It might be worth seeing if your local library has it. I noticed that ours has the baby one which is just music. But defo try before new baby. I was stuck on sofa feeding the baby starving hungry myself and poor DH was trying to settle our eldest for hours

Apileofballyhoo Wed 31-Jul-13 16:53:00

Would a 10 year old be too old for the CD? It sounds brilliant.

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Wed 31-Jul-13 20:41:45

apile it's worth a go, DD is 7 and she loves it, but only had one evening to try it on her as last night was a no-no due to tooth fairy excitement. I settled DS, this time I lay with him and let his sister stay up for a short while as she is 7 now, she wanted some time on her own/then with me. I settled him at 8pm. And we listened to Wee Willie Winkie! He hasn't heard that one yet as he is asleep during the first one! He was like 'he's a boy, like me!'. He was out within 10 mins. Loving this!

DD has gone to bed listening to the first one about Twinkle Little Star, not sure if she is asleep, but she is quiet grin. I tried to lay with her but she wiggles and fusses and shuffles about, so I left as I was disturbing her being there. Definitely one to leave them to on their own once normal bedtime snuggles and stories have been done.

TheCountess did you buy one? I bought it from iTunes mainly so I had it instantly that evening!

Apileofballyhoo Wed 31-Jul-13 21:44:43

I wish I'd heard about this years ago - it's for my Dnephew who finds it hard to sleep and wakes early. Poor little chap hasn't had the easiest time of it. He is better than he was but it might still be helpful.

Delighted for you anyway, it sound like it's really been a Godsend!

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Wed 31-Jul-13 22:20:58

Apile I wish I had tried something like this earlier too! God knows why I didn't, but certainly this particular CD is amazing!

Both children snuggled soundly asleep. Dh came in from work and crept in to see them, amazed at how peaceful they both look. Sometimes DS looks like he has had a fight with the covers and lost, sometimes he has fallen onto the floor while wriggling grin He is currently asleep on his back in pretty much the same position he went to sleep in. AAWww.

And, their moods have been great today, as has mine. I have felt less irritable and there has been far less bickering between the two of them. DS is listening more and honestly, his tantrums have reduced. It's just amazing the trickle effect of how tired they have been and how it's fixing those other problems.

Shall I say it's amazing again?

wouldyoupleasemove Wed 31-Jul-13 22:42:38

So glad it is working for you op ..It can't be nice for the child to go to bed after all that agro and we have seen --some --improvement in DD behaviour since bedtime got better. Very bad bedtime here due to cake, builders and DH being late. To think we did that every nite...shock

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Thu 01-Aug-13 18:38:42

wouldyou another great night! DS slept in his own bed all night, and came up to ours at about 7am!

wouldyoupleasemove Thu 01-Aug-13 19:10:55

Bloody amazing grin grin grin grin grin

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Fri 02-Aug-13 10:54:26

not such a good night last night. DS power napped for like 3 minutes max! He snuck it in at 6:45pm when not looking and when I tried to, in turn, sneak him into bed, he woke up, bright eyed and bushy tailed and would not go to bed at his normal time! He wanted his sister to read him a story and between getting up a million time, finally went to sleep at 9pm. Grrrr. Can't have it completely perfect can we grin

Apileofballyhoo Fri 02-Aug-13 12:54:37

I suppose 9pm isn't too bad!

wouldyoupleasemove Fri 02-Aug-13 15:56:20

The late nap ...its a killer.Fingers crossed for tonight x

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