Support thread for getting DC into own room

(89 Posts)
Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 09:05:05

Hi!

I've been co-sleeping with dd for about 4 months now (completely unintentional - she just wouldn't settle on her own). Anyway she's now 8.5 months & have decided that tonight is the night we will start putting her in her own cot in her own room. Aaarghhh!

She's ebf & atm wakes up 1-2 hourly for feeds. Hopefully this won't continue in her own room!

DH & I are going to try the NCSS, but I suspect we may just end up making it up as we go along grin. We are completely anti cc (no offence to anyone who's tried it, but it's just not for us). We've agreed that, no matter what, dd is not coming into our bed (famous last words!).

So, anyone else trying to get their DC into their own room & want to share tips, concerns or rants?? smile

happydaze77 Fri 24-May-13 21:20:49

I'll join you.
We were planning to move dd to her own room sometime this week. It's now friday . . . hmmm.
She sleeps well in her cot, but it's taken a while to get there and I think that is what has made us so hesitant to take the next step.
How tonight going?

Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 21:38:53

Hi happy smile

Well, she slept for 25 mins & that's about it so far. I've been keeping a log:

7.15 asleep in cot
7.40 woke up crying
8.35 back in cot
8.40 woke up crying
9.35 fed
9.30 asleep, in cot
9.33 awake

The night is yet young! I did but some chocolate today in preparation for tonight grin

How old is your dd?

I did it gradually. You're about to hit a 9 months sleep regression which was hard with both of mine.

I had a bed in their room so I could cosleep if need be. We worked on putting dd in her room at the start of the night then cosleep the rest. It gradually worked up to her spending all night in there.

galwaygirl Fri 24-May-13 21:51:25

We just moved DD but she is almost two blush
We started off by cosleeping with her in the new room, then gradually moved her into her new toddler bed and now we could totally leave her except DH tends to sleep in there as I'm heavily pregnant and prefer having our bed to myself!
Good luck! I think getting them gradually used to the new room helps.

I've been co-sleeping with my 20month old DS since he was born and have been worried about getting him into his own bed/room for ages. Unbelievably tonight he just got into his own bed and said "night night". He was playing and pretending to sleep but I lay down with him and he's gone to sleep. My DH and I are really surprised. Like you, I don't expect it to last the whole night but I can't believe he's done it all on his own (even if it's way later than we intended).
Good luck tonight! I'm no expert but if you stick to your guns your DD should have mastered sleeping in her cot in a few nights.

Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 22:12:57

Creature - sleep regression??!! She's never slept more than 4 hrs since she was born & has been waking hourly for the last month!

Well she's finally back to sleep in her cot. For how long who knows. I am not giving in though - going to sit in her room for a while & see how it goes.

Thanks for all your support ladies smile

Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 23:09:24

Maybe I have a low tolerance threshold or something but this is hellish hmm

I have zero tolerance for crying - hence co-sleeping for the last 20months and my DS went through a phase of waking (and feeding) more than 10 times a night so I feel your pain OP. Things will change but this phase may last longer than you'd hope! I can't offer any advice as all babies are so different, but I can reassure you that it won't always be like this. Good luck tonight.

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 01:01:14

Thanks marmite smile. I am reminded if why I chose to co-sleep in the first place grin

Well it's nearly 1 & I'm still alive (!) - keeping vigil. Had to resort to the old favourite of White Noise.

How many hours til dawn?! Gonna let DH sleep for now & will then boot him out at 2

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 06:27:37

Well we survived!

Here is my log from last night:

7.15 asleep in cot
7.40 woke up crying
8.35 back in cot
8.40 woke up crying
9.35 fed
9.30 asleep, in cot
9.33 awake
10.08 asleep in cot
10.25 awake
10.35 asleep in cot
10.40 awake
11.05 fed
11.26 asleep in cot
11.57 awake
12.30 asleep in cot
12.45 awake
12.53 asleep in cot
1.30 -1.50 awake multiple times
2.30 fed
2.40 asleep
5.05 fed & up for the day

Trouble is dd now appears to have a cold hmm

I really would go easy. If she's got a cold, if you do this for a few nights you're going to be shattered! At least have a bed set up in her room so you can lie next to her cot?

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 09:02:39

I know creature hmm. Unfortunately there's no room in her room for a bed & I have a bad back so can't sleep on the floor. DH & I are taking it in turns though. It's going to be tough but we just need to get through it. <repeat as necessary grin>

Yes I remember that feeling - we ploughed through with ds painfully but took a more slow approach with dd.

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 09:16:57

How long did it take with DS creature?

UserNameAngst Sat 25-May-13 09:33:36

Hello, in a similar boat here. DS2 is 8.5mo, co slept since day 1. From about 6mo he goes down in a cot on his own room and then comes to our bed 10.30ish. Last night I had another go at keeping him in his own room all night. He woke up every 3 hours and at 4 I brought him into bed. After speaking to the hv I had considered trying not to feed between 11 and 5ish but there was no way he was having that, and when he fed he properly gulped it down. So I feel your pain!

I found NCSS helpful. I also am seeing some improvements as solids are established. I think it's just going to be a slow job!

happydaze77 Sat 25-May-13 10:13:51

Forgetfulmog, sounds like you had a difficult night. I hope it gets better.
Our dd is 6 1/2 months old. We noticed a big improvement with her sleeping when we started using white noise and blacked out our room. We put up a gro anywhere blind as well as blackout curtains, and downloaded a free white noise app on my ipod. She started napping better in the day and went from waking around 5am (as the mornings got lighter and lighter) to waking around 6:30/7am.
Well, we moved her into her room last night, after her dreamfeed. I know, very sneaky! We've borrowed a cot so that we now have a cot in our room and one in her room. She didn't seem to notice and slept through, and was very happy this morning. Mustn't get complacent though -there's a fine line between 'real improvement' and 'false hope'!

happydaze77 Sat 25-May-13 10:21:45

Forgot to add, our dd's room is also too small to add a bed/mattress sad It would be so much easier to move out of their room.

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 11:35:25

Hi User & Happy smile

Yes I do have a white noise app too - it's been invaluable over the last few months, even if it is now completely getting on my nerves! Happy - does your dd wake up screaming if you move her into her cot when she is asleep? Mine might stay asleep for a little bit & then she'll do her "startle reflex" & wake up screaming. Putting in cot dozey, but awake doesn't work either - what do people mean when they say that anyway?!

Believeitornot Sat 25-May-13 11:36:13

Would you be happy putting her on her tummy? That stopped mine doing that quite so much

Forgetfulmog Sat 25-May-13 12:00:34

I could try that believe - atm she just raises her head if I do that, but if I waited til she was asleep that might work. Will try tonight! Thank you smile

Forgetfulmog Sun 26-May-13 08:03:53

Well we tried last night, but dd started crying after 15 mins. Then I started crying hmm & we decided that with her cold it wasn't fair to start her in her cot so we took her into our bed. Poor little mite was shattered.

happydaze77 Sun 26-May-13 10:17:53

Hi again. I think you're doing the right thing by keeping things the same while she's feeling poorly, bless her.
I know it may take longer overall, but have you considered trying to get her used to the cot while it's in your room still? Then, once that's established, move her into her own room.
Also you asked me: "does your dd wake up screaming if you move her into her cot when she is asleep?" - she did, very much so. We used to have to lower her in, trying not to wake her - it was a back breaker, and also very frustrating when it didn't work. As time went on though she seemed to be able to stir a little, yet not wake up, or put herself back off to sleep. We just placed her in as steadily as we could and gave her a little time (whilst we lay in bed, not daring to move, or even breathe!).
I think, with our dd, the crucial thing was that she was already flat on her back, in our bed, rather than being asleep in our arms. So she wasn't really changing position, iyswim?
I totally agree with you about the 'put them down drowsy' advice - dd is never drowsy - she's either awake or asleep!
We're now able to put dd down, totally awake and just walk away. I swear if someone had told me a month ago that I would be able to do this I would have laughed in their face (and slapped them probably).
If you like, I can explain how we've got there? I don't want to sound like I'm preaching to you though, especially as your dd is older than mine, so you're more experienced than I am. I also understand that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for all.

happydaze77 Sun 26-May-13 10:19:41

PS: we didn't do CC. As you said, no offence to those who do, bit it wasn't for us - mainly because I know I would cave in.

Forgetfulmog Sun 26-May-13 19:40:23

Happy you have given me hope! I feel like there is now light at the end of the tunnel! Yes, please tell me how you get there in the end. No I don't think you're being patronising at all & just because my dd is older than you doesn't mean I have more experience (well I certainly don't feel like I do anyway!).

Good point about the cot being in our room - we've got one of those side-car cots atm which we will have to dismantle (dd only slept in there for about a month & now I use it as a bedside table blush - she's way too big for it now). Will see what DH thinks about the cot idea.

Forgetfulmog Mon 27-May-13 19:05:02

Ok, let's try again. Just put dd down. White noise is playing. Just need her to stay asleep & in her cot now...

DrMcDreamysWife Mon 27-May-13 19:36:53

Hello!!

My dd is also 8.5 pushing 9 months but I think we've starter the nine month regression already. After a tonne of work at 7 months I got her out of my bed and into cot for first part of the night 7pm to 11/11.30 ish, on a good night she would do another stint in cot after a feed and come into bed with me at four. However this has recently gone to pot and she is refusing the cot again and last few nights I have gone to bed with her at 7ish. sad she is feeding on and off till ten and then will do a stint till 1/2 then wakes every hour and in my exhaustion boob is shoved near ;)

I'm soooo disappointed as I was so happy me and dh had got our evening back and now it's gone again! I thought it was improving and it's totally gone backwards! And I'm so tired I can't face the crying the cot seems to involve now sad

We've all had colds too so waiting to shake them and then the cot challenge begins again!

Good luck tonight!

Forgetfulmog Mon 27-May-13 19:49:30

Hi Drmc I feel your pain! It's just exhausting isn't it. Hope you're all better from your colds soon & good luck when you try again - come on here & tell us when you do! smile

Forgetfulmog Mon 27-May-13 19:56:16

Aaarghhh we have way too many creaky floorboards in our house! DH & I are acting like cat burglars! grin

Forgetfulmog Tue 28-May-13 06:19:20

So, a much much better night last night:

7 asleep in cot
7.25 woke up twice crying. Able to soothe her back to sleep
7.35 asleep in cot
8 woke up crying, unable to settle in cot
9 fed
9.25 asleep in cot
11.45 woke up crying
11.46 asleep in cot
Cried a few times but able to settle
12.25 fed
12.35 asleep in cot
2.55 fed
3 asleep in cot
5.15 fed
5.30 up for the day

She did grizzle a bit but I was mostly able to settle her in the cot by stroking her head. We were almost about to give up at the beginning as she just wouldn't settle but then I fed her & lay her down still awake & she went to sleep! My & DH were like shockshock

Hopefully it will go well tonight. She also fed about half the amount of times she would next to me too smile

Forgetfulmog Wed 29-May-13 08:11:53

Hi everyone, how are you getting on DrMc & Happy?

A really good night last night - dd went to sleep with me just holding my hand lightly on her & playing the white noise app. Did bring her into our bed at 4ish though, but (& this is an historic moment) she slept for 8 hrs without wanting a feed! First time she has ever done this!

6.35 asleep in cot
8.15 woke crying, able to settle her back to sleep in cot
8.20 fed
8.30 asleep in cot
4 fed
4.05 asleep in cot
4.10 woke up & wouldn't be settled
4.20 brought into our bed
5.40 fed & up for the day

DrMcDreamysWife Wed 29-May-13 19:24:09

8 hours!!! That is epic! Congratulations, that is absolutely brilliant!

We are making a bit of progress, she won't let me put her in cot BUT she will let my dh do it! Whoop! So I give her a bedtime feed, then when she's done my dh comes in and sits with her until she is very asleep and then puts her in her cot. Each night he is trying to put her down less asleep. She has been going in cot between 7-8 and lasts till 11.30 till a feed. So 4 hours!! She can do another four hours but not in the cot!

One step at a time!

Forgetfulmog Wed 29-May-13 19:38:05

Thanks smile. Am hoping for a similar night!

Well done for you as well - 4 hrs is brilliant (I genuinely mean that as well - I know what it's like to have dd feeding every hour!). Like you say, one step at a time. The fact that she will go down in the cot to begin with is fab. Hopefully over time she will be happy to stay in it longer.

Am sat in the nursery watching dd sleep & waiting for DH to bring me a cup of tea & a slice of some awesome cake from Ikea smile. Sustenance is needed for these all-night vigils!

happydaze77 Wed 29-May-13 19:44:56

Hi again - sorry for the long absence.

Well, we've been putting dd in her own room, after her dreamfeed, since Friday and it's gone well so far.. .

I think the blacked out room really helps - if she can't see much then she won't notice that she's in a different room right? She's also easily stimulated so I think that and the white noise help to block out two of her senses!

Forgetfulmog Thu 30-May-13 19:15:02

Glad things seem to be going well Happy.

Yes the white noise is a god send - I kept it playing pretty much all last night!

Ok-ish night last night - DH was back to work today so I had to take the helm all night. Dd was & is still very snotty from her cold so that probably isn't helping much. Anyway last night looked like this

7.15 asleep in cot
9.05 fed
Cried
9.30 asleep in cot
10.15 cried
10.30 asleep in cot
1.15 fed
4.30 fed & brought into our bed
6.20 fed

Cried multiple times during night - able to be soothed back to sleep. Played white noise constantly

Wiggy29 Thu 30-May-13 21:16:08

Can I crash the thread? I'm not trying to get ds in own room (as only 3 months&we co-sleep) but we're trying to get him to sleep with being in rocked in our arms with a dummy. So far, we've got to the point where he'll fall asleep on our bed without dummy at night but with for day time naps. I'm also trying to get him to sleep facing away from me as opposed to pressed up against my boob to get him used to falling asleep without the warmth/ smell of me.

Tonight he went down on our bed at 19:15 without dummy or me next to him, he woke at 20:50 crying for 10 minutes but dp settled him with dummy, he was still facing away on the bed and dp just held dummy and stroked head.

Assuming no more waking, we'll dream feed at 22:30 and then he normally wakes 3:30ish for a feed and then 6:30ish.

I'll let you know how it goes...hmm

Forgetfulmog Thu 30-May-13 21:25:39

Welcome wiggy smile

Ooh good luck for tonight then. I know what you mean about them snuggling into your boob - dd did that to me. Now she has replaced me with the cot bumper (thankfully we've got an Airwrap one!)

happydaze77 Thu 30-May-13 22:06:12

Hi Wiggy. smile

I used to have to always feed dd to sleep. She never took a dummy.
I used to lie with her in bed until she was asleep, unlatch, then creep away (if unlatching her hadn't woken her!)

Then I started unlatching her just before she was asleep, but staying very close, often with my arm across her legs, to stop her kicking.

After a few weeks of doing this I moved onto unlatching her and backing off a few inches and just lying next to her, no contact. I didn't say anything, kept my eyes closed, occasionally sneaking a glimpse to see if she'd dozed off. (Obviously if she became distressed I wouldn't just continue to ignor her)

I believe that was the stage where she finally learnt to put herself to sleep. The holy grail of self soothing!

Just recently, at around 6 months, she started to become more mobile so I knew I had to get her to fall asleep in her cot, not on our bed. It also meant that while I was lying beside her she was trying to reach for me and roll towards me. One day I got so frustrated with this that I just scooped her up, plonked her in her cot and left the room (to cry and eat chocolate)
Miraculously she fell asleep, all by herself, within minutes! shock

I hope I'm not tempting fate by saying this but I've been able to 'plonk and leave' her about 8 times out of 10, over the last two weeks.
So, it's not 100% failsafe but we're getting there. At least I hope....
I can honestly say that I NEVER thought it would ever be possible. DD has been a nightmare to get to sleep since day 2.

Also, although I am not one for CC, we do leave her for a few minutes if she's grizzling, or doing her 'protesting cry', (often this happens immediately after I leave the room but only lasts a couple of minutes). We do go into her if it doesn't stop after about five minutes, or if it escalates to full blown howling. I think she just sometimes likes to let off steam.

Anyway, hope some of that may be useful.

PrimalChic Thu 30-May-13 22:27:00

Can I crash too? Desperate to do something about DS's sleep and we're ready to move him to his own room. DS is nearly 6m and we've been co sleeping since he was born. We too have a sidecar crib, I keep my drinks bottle, muslins and the iPad on it whilst it's playing white noise!

DS sucks to sleep. Had been trying the NCSS pull off but he has started protesting. Thinking about trying him on a dummy again, also tempted by your plonk and leave, Happy!

Tomorrow he's going in his cot. He is. Do you think it's best to start with nap time or night time sleep? He happily lies in there playing in the day.

Wiggy29 Thu 30-May-13 22:55:13

I should be clear, when I say he snuggles into the boob, he's not actually latched on, I think he just likes the smell&comfort.

Tonight, his naps were a bit muddled so managed his full bedtime routine (minus story as he was very heavy eyed & didn't want him asleep in my arms). Seemed to work ok. Had a few sucks of dummy then it fell out& he didn't flinch.

He woke about ten minutes ago but we just popped dummy in for a few seconds & he went back over. I'm trying to stretch out the time between feeds as much as possible so he's not just habit feeding (though I won't let him go hungry either)! Planning to head to bed now but will get dp to feed him when he comes to bed as he usually stays up later than me.

Welcome primalchic& good luck everyone tonight! Here's hoping we all have some sleepy babies so we wake up one step closer to a full night's sleep& our own bed back!

Forgetfulmog Thu 30-May-13 23:58:06

Hi Primal smile

Dd just woken up & started crying do tried soothing her & shed just gone back off when I trod on a creaky floorboard angry

Now feeding her to soothe her back to sleep (I know bad habit!).

Forgetfulmog Fri 31-May-13 00:06:12

Primal - in answer to your question, I probably wouldn't try during the day - I remember reading somewhere that when trying to get your baby to sleep in a cot, to ensure they have as much nap time as poss & to do whatever you can to get them to nap.

Once he's sleeping in the cot at night you can work on the naps.

Good luck!

PrimalChic Fri 31-May-13 03:38:11

Thanks ladies. I'll try him in the cot at bed time this evening after a good few naps today. I read that too, I think it's in NCSS.

Just had 4 hours sleep whilst DH took DS. Still exhausted!blush Feeding a hungry baby to sleep now, hoping he lets me have another hour or two before we get up. HA!

Forgetfulmog Fri 31-May-13 08:09:05

Did DS go back off primal?

Ended up bringing dd into bed with us at around 2 - she was really snotty & couldn't seem to breathe very easily. She was feeding every 2 hrs last night so not great but still an improvement on the hourly feeding!

Forgetfulmog Fri 31-May-13 19:21:56

I don't think dd will be staying in her cot tonight; she's just so snotty & is clearly having trouble breathing. I've rubbed Snuffle Babe everywhere but it doesn't seem to be helping. Poor baby hmm

Wiggy29 Fri 31-May-13 20:25:05

Forgetful- it's tough when they're not 100%. bless them.

Last night was ok, fed at usual times & went back over after dream feeds (at 23:30&3:30) without dummy. That inspired me to take the next step, which is either no dummy or me not close by.

So... did the usual routine tonight&he was sleepy&settled, he was lay on bed happily chattering with the dummy out so I left the room&sat outside. This lasted about 5 minutes but then he started crying.

He only seems bothered by dummy falling out, so at the mo I'm sat typing this on the edge of the bed in the dark. It's a step in the right direction as I'm not IN the bed snuggling him but I've been sat here about 25 mins now& he's just twisting & then crying if dummy falls out so I'm popping it back in each time.

Not sure if I should just let him cry for a couple of minutes to see if he soothes himself instead of rushing in?

Wiggy29 Fri 31-May-13 20:27:54

Just had a little look at his face&he looks shattered, wish he would just go to sleep! He's really chomping his dummy, I'm starting to wonder if he's still hungry or just sleepy.

Wiggy29 Fri 31-May-13 22:31:04

Well, he fell asleep again soon after that last message&stayed asleep. Had a chat with dp& decided the next stage will be to try&put him in his cot for day time naps, starting Sunday as we have visitors tomorrow& are out&about. That said, I'm going to try lying him in his cor a bit more tomorrow to get him used to it.

PrimalChic Sat 01-Jun-13 01:56:04

Update! DS let me have another precious 40 minutes sleep after 3 this morning so I was exhausted. DH came home early from work to take him so I sneaked another couple of hours in. DH woke me up saying DS had pooed everywhere. I thought he was exaggerating until I saw the baby, the jumperoo AND a massive pile on the floor that had been bounced on! shock

Anyway, that dirty protest didn't stop us putting DS in his own room. It's been good so far. We did the Jo Frost return after 2m, 4m, 8m and so on. He was asleep within half an hour and self soothed within 2 minutes every time he woke up until 9.30. He was asleep within 8 minutes. When he woke again 40m later, I thought of go and feed him but by the time I got there he was asleep again! He stirred so I fed him. Asleep before I got back to the bedroom and the monitor. I've just done another return and it took 6 minutes for him to sleep. I'll feed him on the next wake up.

IT'S WORKING!

PrimalChic Sat 01-Jun-13 01:58:41

By the way, I was sobbing during the first half hour so got in shower so DH could do the visits. 'This is harder than childbirth!' I said. Ok it's not but it was pretty horrid leaving him crying. Now I see it working and DS sleeping better, it's not so bad.

Forgetfulmog Sat 01-Jun-13 07:25:12

Well dd did stay in her cot until about 4.50 when she decided she'd had enough sleep! Fed her 4 times last night, roughly 2-3 hourly so not too bad at all. She did stir a little bit but the majority of times that she cried was when she actually wanted food.

Primal - you're doing a type of cc aren't you? Glad it's worked for you, but I know I wouldn't be able to try it!

Wiggy - good luck with trying out the cot for daytime naps - definately worth getting him used to it. Good luck with trying without the dummy too! Dd tends to take hers out & hold onto it, so cute! I've been going in as soon as dd starts crying & I think that's helping as she knows I'm only close by so haven't abandoned her. That said she does do a few of one-cries & then goes back to sleep so she is learning to self soothe a bit. I can't believe it's only been a week & we have made so much progress!

Wiggy29 Sat 01-Jun-13 08:47:18

Primal- bless you& bless the giant pile of poo under the jumperoo! Have I read right that your dc is fully awake&up in between sleeps in the night then?

Forgetful- that all sounds positive& the dummy thing is very cute.

It all went a bit pear shaped last night, ds now has a stinking cold (as do I so we're both tired& cranky). He woke for an extra feed& dp could only get him back to sleep with dummy which he doesn't normally need at night.

Shattered but trying not to be deterred. He's twisty now but I'm trying to only use dummy as last resort. I'll let you know how day time naps in cot go, I'd try him for his next one but ds1 still asleep&don't want to wake him. I'll keep you posted.

Wiggy29 Sat 01-Jun-13 21:25:25

Just to update, after an utterly pants night, today was fab! we swaddled him, gave him a cuddle with his dummy and when he started to look heavy eyed, we put him down in the cot with his little lights and sounds projector on- worked EVERY time! He didn't cry or twist once. The whole swaddle/ cuddle only took 2-3 minutes so it was great. I think the key was catching him when he was tired but not exhausted. We also managed the whole day without him having his dummy except for naps and he didn't seem phased by this either!

That said, when it came to putting him down at 8ish in our bed, it didn't work as well. I did the same routine but with night time extras e.g. story/ bath/ massage but he took longer to settle, I was up and done the stairs about 6 times when his dummy fell out, but this was only for a few seconds to pop dummy in, stroke his hair to reassure him and that was it.

All in all, really pleased as progress has been made! For now at least, we'll see how the next few days go as he's due his next set of jabs Wed (though he was fine after the first).

Hope you are all hanging in there. smile

PrimalChic Sun 02-Jun-13 04:06:47

Forgetful, yup it's a gentler version but I still leave him to cry. After 2 weeks if waking 10-15 times a night, I had to.

It's going we'll. he had a 2.5 hour nap at lunchtime after 60 seconds of whinging rather than crying. He also went to sleep tonight ok. He has needed one revisit after 2 mins crying along with 2 breast feeds. The rest of the time, I hear him wake but he just goes back to sleep.

My friend suggested this saying try it, he might surprise you. I had visions of 3 hour scream-offs after reading NCSS but this seems to be working and I'm getting some sleep too!

Wiggy29 Sun 02-Jun-13 08:34:10

Primal- that sounds really positive, I'm glad it's working for you&allowing you to get some rest! A good night here except when he woke for feed I forgot to check time so fed at 2 not usual 3:40, meaning he woke at 5 not 6:30 for next feed! My fault not his, should have checked&encouraged him back to sleep. He's had one nap since then which, again, he went down for well.

Forgetfulmog Sun 02-Jun-13 09:26:06

Hi both, glad everything seems to be working out & it's good DS is going without the dummy during the day wiggy.

We had a bit of a mixed night - on the positive side, both DH & I were able to go downstairs after putting dd to bed (actually the first time we've been together alone in the evening for the last 4.5 months shock!), we had to go up a couple of times to settle her, but all ok. White noise again playing all the time.

Then from about midnight, it all went a bit pear shaped - dd started crying & we couldn't settle her so after about an hr we gave up & brought her into bed with us. She's still snotty bless her. Still we're making progress! smile

Forgetfulmog Sun 02-Jun-13 18:51:35

Aaarghhh dd would not nap this morning! I went out to meet some friends & got there early so I could walk dd round the park while she slept & she refused to go to sleep, clearly tired, but just spent over an hr whinging. I felt awful as I was almost at screaming point. She did nap then after lunch thankfully though!

How were your days primal & wiggle?

Forgetfulmog Sun 02-Jun-13 18:52:03

Wiggy! Not wiggle blush. Sorry!

Wiggy29 Sun 02-Jun-13 22:08:19

Forget- don't worry, only a daft user name! Great news about you having some time alone, for the past few night's we've been alone from about 8 at night& stupid as it sounds, we felt a bit lost!

Had a great night but he woke at 5:20, ideally we need to maybe put his bedtime back to 8:30 so he wakes 6:15 ish (a more human hour) but hard as by 7:30 he's twisty& ready for bed& don't want to add a later nap (last one normally 4:30ish) as might set night sleep off.

Had a good day but had the opposite problem to you, we went out & he had a giant sleep in push hair so when he woke he'd missed two feeds so even after 1 feed he was still out of sorts& I hadn't produced enough milk to fill him when he was still hungry about 30mins later so he was a bit grumpy for about an hour before they filled for another feed.

Overall though, pretty please that progress is being made&still no dummy except at nap time. Realsised car journeys may have to be an exception to this as he hates them and screams minutes after we set off. Can't be car seat as fine if in it when on pushchair. May be that he gets travel sick?

Wiggy29 Sun 02-Jun-13 22:11:11

Excuse typos, on tiny phone key pad with my sausage fingers!

Forgetfulmog Mon 03-Jun-13 08:45:32

Wiggy - dd is a bit like that in the car. We've found that playing 80s rock music helps her to sleep blush. She also likes Iron Maiden (much to DH's delight!).

I know what you mean about not knowing what to do with yourselves - I'm constantly on edge whilst downstairs just waiting for her to cry!

Well last night didn't go too badly until 2am then she just wouldn't settle - cried as soon as she went in her cot. I have back problems so constant lifting in & out really isn't helping! DH managed to settle her & then she woke up at 3.10 & at that point I gave up & brought her into bed with me. She then slept til 6.20 which is a lie in!

I keep telling myself it doesn't matter if she doesn't spend all night in the cot, as long as she spends most of the time in there, but sometimes I'm just like "why won't she settle?!". Silly trying to apply logic to a baby though!

Another gorgeous day here, hope you enjoy ladies.

Happy, haven't heard from you for a while, all ok?

happydaze77 Mon 03-Jun-13 09:19:38

Hi all, we're good thanks forgetful. We're currently just sticking to putting dd in her own room after her dreamfeed - one step at a time hey?! It's going ok so far. . . .
I think dd is the opposite to yours in that she starts the night in our room, then goes into hers, she rarely wakes up during the night but getting her to settle in the first place is challenging. She's also less likely to settle in our bed now, which I sort of miss, a bit. I guess they're all different!
How well does yours nap during the day?

Forgetfulmog Mon 03-Jun-13 09:39:27

Yes we have completely opposite babies Happy! Mine does wake up a fair bit during the night!

Dd still naps on me in the sling (or pushchair if we're out & about). Usually ok, she has 2 naps a day totalling approx 3 hrs (sometimes a bit more). I end up on MN while she naps as can't do anything because she'll wake up!

happydaze77 Mon 03-Jun-13 09:48:46

Not so different then smile - when dd's napping I just sit downstairs, read a book, tv on low etc. Thank goodness for my laptop! It's a good excuse to do nothing. We daren't even make lunch and, as we don't have a downstairs toilet, we're often desperate if she takes a long nap - worth it for the long nap though! They're such light sleepers aren't they?! I can relate fully to your comments about the squeaky floorboards smile
Where are all these wonderful babies who's parents can move them from carseat to cot/change their nappy/dress them into pj's etc, while they're remain asleep?! I would be seriously worried if our dd ever did that.
Reminds me - did you so the thread 'phrases that make you weep' on mn recently (you probably did) - soooo funny. grin

happydaze77 Mon 03-Jun-13 09:52:06

so = see (rubbish typing)

Forgetfulmog Mon 03-Jun-13 12:10:42

Oh the needing the toilet whilst dd is napping! There have been times when I've actually thought I might wet myself as I've been so desparate to go but dd hasn't woken up!

I think I did see it yes, will do a search though to refresh my memory...

I think they make it up happy! If dd sleeps any longer than about an he without making some noise I get freaked out & am almost willing her to wake up so I know she's ok blush!

Forgetfulmog Mon 03-Jun-13 12:18:01

Garrr! Dd has just fallen asleep on me, but it's lunchtime & I'm hungry!!

<wails>

<need biscuits>

Forgetfulmog Tue 04-Jun-13 15:17:43

Well last night was interesting ...

Dd decided at bed time she wasn't tired so ended up bringing her back downstairs & then up to bed a bit later. She woke up once & then slept till about 1. Then after I had fed her I just couldn't get her to settle so brought her into bed

Does anyone have any ideas why she is refusing to settle after about 12.30 - 1am??? It's been like that for a few nights now, really weird!

Wiggy29 Tue 04-Jun-13 21:23:26

Hey folks, all good here. Still napping during day in cot&only having dummy for sleeping. That said, what you posted feels familiar as I've noticed that since napping in own cot, ds is in a much lighter sleep. Previously, if he was (for example) in the sling asleep, I could hoover&he wouldn't stir. Today though, I woke him (he was in the cot) by quietly chatting on phone. Next step is cot in our room&trying to put him down for his night sleep in there.

Forgetful- I have no idea, how long have they been asleep at that point? I'm sure I remember reading that we sleep in cycles (think it was about 90 mins)&if we are woke at certain points it can be v.hard to get back over. Could it be the recent warm weather&maybe just too hot?

Happy- you sound like you're a step ahead of us. Our next aim is to get him to spend part of the night in his cot (as opposed to our bed). I anticipate the hardest part will be resisting just taking him back in with us if he twists for the sake of some precious shut eye.

Forgetfulmog Wed 05-Jun-13 08:50:10

Please someone give me so advice & hope here, we seem to be going backwards.

Last night I fed dd at 6.30 (she usually gets sleepy when I do this), but she was still wide awake so I held her for a bit then fed her again & this time she got sleepy (about 7) so put her down with the white noise & she fell asleep.

Woke up crying at 8.30, fed her (to try to settle her), but she wouldn't settle so after about 40 mins I brought her into bed. She still wouldn't settle & kept chatting away, alternating with crying. I fed her again, still nothing & by this time I was getting quite upset (she's been biting & chewing my nipple & her latch doesn't seem too great either so my nips feel very bruised & sore).

She did eventually settle around 10.30 & slept next to me, waking up a few times for feeds.

I'm just feeling so despondent; I don't know if it's because her cold is still lingering, or if she's teething (still no teeth btw) or what, but we just seem to be going backwards now. Is this the 9 month regression (she's 9 months next week btw)? It seems so unfair as she's never been a great sleeper anyway.

I'm tired, feeling sore & just fed up.

I'm glad for you though wiggy that things seem to be going well <tries but fails to put self into more positive mood>

thepestinthevest Wed 05-Jun-13 09:25:34

grin at Iron Maiden

Just wanted to say keep going ladies. I remember those hellish days and nights.

The cold will definitely be playing its part it messing it up. Doesn't always work for everyone but I swear by the humidifier for DS when he is snotty.

Can I ask, sorry if I've missed it, do you do anything else in their room with them? I don't mean playtime, but do you give the bedtime feeds in the room, bedtime story?

When you do night feeds do you do it in the dark?

Hang in there. My DS got to 7 months before he would sleep from 8-1 then 2-6, at 9 months he went from 8pm-6am then 11 months he was 8-7. Colds and teething can throw it out of sync for a bit. He made giant leaps in his sleeping as he moved onto proper meals and snacks.

We once got a 13 hr sleep out of him after he'd eaten a load of DH's cottage pie and peas smile

happydaze77 Wed 05-Jun-13 09:41:48

Just a though forgetfulmog - does your dd have a teddy to sleep with? When I feed dd she has the same soft toy to pull/pinch/bat at (saves my clothes and boobs!). We've just started putting it in the cot with her if she doesn't seem likely to settle and it often* works (*not always, but what does hey?)
I'm pretty sure a soft toy is ok at their age? Please anyone correct me if not. My dd is 7months now.
Can't think of anything else helpful atm, sorry.

happydaze77 Wed 05-Jun-13 09:42:22

though = thought (awful typing, again...)

Forgetfulmog Wed 05-Jun-13 17:01:08

Thepest - I give her her last feed in her room (DH reads her a story while she's playing after tea, before her bath). She's nearly 9 months so I don't know if the 9 month sleep regression is having its toll. Thanks for the tip about the humidifier. I haven't got one at the moment so may give her some calpol later just to dry up her nose. Love the story about the cottage pie!

That's another thing - were doing mainly BLW & dd isn't too fussed on her food atm - she goes through phases, sometimes she eats loads & other times not that much.

Happy - she has a little bunny, but doesn't seem interested - whenever I put it in her hands she just flings it. It's more the biting & chewing that's the issue (although the pinching is starting to take its toll too).

I'm eating a lot of chocolate spread to get myself through this grin

Wiggy29 Thu 06-Jun-13 07:17:42

Forgetful- How about a muslin square? Ds likes to rub one on his cheek. Or maybe those rings you use to attach things tonplay gyms/ pram etc, you can get textured ones for teething&they can be pulled/ mangled/ bitten etc. Not sure if 9 months is too old, but what about swaddling? I think that's been part of reason ds has been napping well, the times he does cry after being put down, 99% of time he's wriggles arms out & is flapping around.

Took 30mins to get ds to sleep last night&had to cuddle him in the end, he had his 2nd set of jabs yesterday so wondered if it was that. Had another good night but really need to get him in own bed as my back is aching from squashing in to accommodate us as he tends to sleep star fish (we remove swaddle after 10:30 feed as he shares our blanket).

Talking of naps, my plan for today is to try&sleep when he does! Don't normally feel I need a nap but today I don't have to do school run with ds1 so taking advantage&staying in pjs. Will have to resist urge to have ds2 in my bed for cuddles as he'd prob sleep for longer but don't want to back track after he's been doing so well, he had a 90 minute sleep in his own cot&room yesterday morning!

Forgetfulmog Thu 06-Jun-13 07:56:15

Wiggy - I have tied a muslin to her cot bars as something for her to hold onto. She's never liked being swaddled so I don't think that'll work, but I do have her in a gro-bag. She's so grumpy at the moment - I know her snotty nose isn't helping. She's had this for nearly 2 weeks now, surely it must get better soon?

I sympathise about your back, mine is not liking the bending over the cot to soothe dd.

Well she managed until 11.30 last night. Tried to settle her twice but she wasn't having it so brought her into our bed. Up at 5.30 as usual.

God, please tell me it gets easier...

I'm glad the naps are going well wiggy & enjoy your day today, hope you're going to spend it relaxing smile

Forgetfulmog Thu 06-Jun-13 07:57:59

Oh & yes the jabs are probably to blame. Only one set left to go before he's 1 though. Dd was absolutely fine after her last set (I was expecting it to be really bad as there are 3 jabs!)

Wiggy29 Thu 06-Jun-13 14:20:37

It does get better, your dd sounds like my ds1. He got a bit better at about 7 months with weaning in full flow (was still bf until 10 months)& still woke about once every night until about 18 months. That said, when he did start sleeping through he was amazing&has slept for 12 hours virtually every night since & he's 8 now. Looking back, there was not much I could have done differently as he had terrible reflux. I've learnt from number 2 that every baby is different& you have to find what suits you/them. Does your dd have a dummy? Ds2 just has it for naps/bed& that helps.

Forgetfulmog Thu 06-Jun-13 18:49:08

Thanks wiggy. Yes she does have a dummy, although she is starting to use it less & less (her choice).

Fingers crossed for tonight smile

Forgetfulmog Fri 07-Jun-13 08:40:29

So dd only lasted an hr in her cot last night hmm

Slept with her last night & she only fed twice shock, which was very unusual! She was & is still very snotty & I'm convinced that's what is stopping her sleep in the cot. I've been using the Snuffle Babe, but it doesn't really seem very effective anymore, also Calpol - any other tips? I don't have a humidifier ...

Wiggy, primal & happy - how have your LOs been?

Forgetfulmog Tue 11-Jun-13 10:05:36

So how's everyone been getting on?

I've had to give up for the time being - had D&V over the weekend & dd now has chickenpox so it's back to co-sleeping for now. We're not doing an evening routine at all atm, dd is quite sleepy anyway so I'm just letting her sleep on me on the sofa & taking her up when I'm ready to go to bed.

Maybe we'll get there by the time she's ready to start school <hopeful>

Wiggy29 Wed 12-Jun-13 21:33:36

Hi forgetful, have you tried a saline nasal spray? They can be used from birth.

Day time naps are fab BUT now he's so used to the whole swaddle/darkness thing that he doesn't want to sleep if we're out&about. So when out I'm having to let him fall asleep on me.

No change on the night time, dp hasn't had chance to put cot in our room (needs to be taken down to fit out). We MUST get this done soon as it's far too hot in the mo and as ds is getting older he's rolling round more&sleeping star fish! My back is killing me from hanging off the edge of the bed!

Wiggy29 Wed 12-Jun-13 21:34:13

Forgetful- remind me how old your dd is.

Forgetfulmog Thu 13-Jun-13 08:00:25

She's 9 months wiggy. I can't use the nasal stuff on her, was able to when she was a newborn, but now she's got wise to it & twists her head all over the place so it ends up going in her eye, which just makes her cry even more.

Our routine has just gone to pot atm, we're just doing whatever it takes to ensure we get some sleep, but it's not that much really!

Glad your daytime naps are going well wiggy. Good luck on the nighttimes now!

happydaze77 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:03:42

Just checking in. Nothing new to report really. DD in cot after dreamfeed still, haven't yet tried starting bedtime in there. Yet.
Forgetful - how is your dd? Is she over the chicken pox yet? At least you've gone one of the illnesses over and done with hey?

Forgetfulmog Mon 17-Jun-13 20:21:58

That's good happy, pleased all seems to be going well.

Thanks for asking smile, she's getting better & her spots are scabbing over nicely. We're back to the old bedtime routine of DH holding her for an hr, then me coming up & taking over. DH is going to take a week off work so we can go for it & get her settled in her own room. Just fingers crossed no more illnesses shock

Forgetfulmog Thu 20-Jun-13 08:02:51

Ok, think we may have hit the point where DH & I are desparate for change.

Dd refuses to go down in her cot now at all, just screams & neither of us have got the energy to peruse it. She's not even sleeping v well in our bed either - can take ages to get her to sleep & then she keeps waking up for feeds/crying.

Primal - you mentioned you were doing a form of cc, did it work? Could you tell me a bit more about it please? Btw, I'm sorry for being judgmental about it before. I just need something to work because neither DH nor I can carry on like this.

happydaze77 Thu 20-Jun-13 14:12:50

Hi again forgetful. I haven't got any useful advice unfortunately but I just wanted to send my support and say don't feel bad about cc. We came very close to trying it.
I read several sleep sites and blogs (haven't we all!) and I some points were well made:
Nobody plans to let their child cry it out."
Anyone who hasn't considered controlled crying simply isn't tired/desperate enough. "
You are the best judge of what is right for your dd, and for your family.

Forgetfulmog Thu 20-Jun-13 14:56:01

Thanks for your support happy. It's just so hard isn't it sometimes? I'm just close to breaking point these days so know it's definately time to do something about it! Dd has got a cold now though (I mean why not! Since her chickenpox is going she needs to have some other illness to contend with!) so know there's no point trying anything atm, but we need to when she's better. I guess that's what being a parent is all about, making hard decisions. Oh & completely agree with what you wrote about cc btw

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now