is co-sleeping common?

(102 Posts)
ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 17:29:15

I never did it, never even contemplated it. I had the moses basket right next to the side of the bed instead.

Two good friends have babies under 12m and they both co-sleep.

Not judging if people do it, just wondering whether it is quite common?

TheSecretSantaDNCOP Sun 23-Dec-12 17:31:35

I don't think it's common. I'm middle class and we've done it with both children.

AliceWChild Sun 23-Dec-12 17:32:15

I'd say yabu. I'd be surprised if accurate data is available as how would it have been collected? How would we know if people were truthful when there's lots of judging/scaremongering about it?

melliebobs Sun 23-Dec-12 17:32:54

What's class got to do with it?! I didn't do it. I bf dd and just had her in the basket next to me. I need my space when I sleep

ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 17:33:39

TheSecretSantaDNCOP I didn't mean common as in lower class.

I mean common as in most people these days do it.

Meglet Sun 23-Dec-12 17:34:05

I didn't do it, I'm a bad sleeper and wouldn't have been able to relax.

Although the midwife did tuck DD in with me every night in hospital after my c-section to save them helping me to get her in and out of her fish tank. I slept in a stiff position on my side, too scared to move hmm.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 23-Dec-12 17:34:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tryharder Sun 23-Dec-12 17:34:51

I think it's more common that people let on. I have co slept with all mine and DC3 still sleeps with us most nights.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sun 23-Dec-12 17:35:12

In my family everyone has their own bed that they fall asleep in but if the baby or child ends up in the parents bed it's no big deal.

I do it as and when necessary with ds, i.e. when he won't sleep for some reason and I'm too tired/have to be up early. My mum did the same with us. My nan did the same with her kids (and grandkids).

5madthings Sun 23-Dec-12 17:35:15

I think lots of people do it but not many admit it in rl.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman Sun 23-Dec-12 17:35:39

What's being middle class got to do with anything?

TheSecretSantaDNCOP Sun 23-Dec-12 17:35:42

I know, I just like derailing grin

Happy Christmas!

Fairylea Sun 23-Dec-12 17:36:53

I didn't do it. I'm a terrible mother and put both of mine in their own rooms at 12 weeks with angel monitors. I'd never get any sleep otherwise and neither would I.

lovelyladuree Sun 23-Dec-12 17:37:14

Locum GP told me to do it with DD when she had a chest infection at 2mths or else none of of would have got any sleep. When she was old enough to slide out of bed and choose to sleep on the floor instead, that's when she went into own bed. And what a fucking relief that was.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sun 23-Dec-12 17:37:21

And for people getting comments about making a rod for your back - you can rest assured that my nan no longer has a problem with children or grandchildren trying to get in bed with her! grin

As I recall, she didn't mind sharing a bed - she had to share a double bed with 7 of her sisters when she was growing up. What she did mind was kids sitting on her knee and creasing her skirt!

Fairylea Sun 23-Dec-12 17:37:27

They'd. I'm still not getting enough sleep !!

Chubfuddler Sun 23-Dec-12 17:37:31

Everyone in this house starts the night in their own bed.

We end up all over the place, but most often all squished together. I've never properly co slept as my babies always had a cot of their own. They just didn't stay in it

LaCiccolina Sun 23-Dec-12 17:37:50

I've done it on occasion. Not as a standard. I think ur odder not have on occaision? Surely????

ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 17:38:23

TheSecretSantaDNCOP

derailing? or just got the thread completely wrong?

hmm.

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Sun 23-Dec-12 17:38:31

I co-slept for about 2.5 years, off and on, and still do it if my son needs me.

Bluestocking Sun 23-Dec-12 17:40:16

I think it's much more common than people let on. I had lots of mummy friends who said they didn't co-sleep - except when baby was having a growth spurt and cluster-feeding at night/not very well/suffering from separation anxiety/whatever.

ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 17:40:21

melliebobs it has nothing to do with class hmm

HairyGrotter Sun 23-Dec-12 17:40:48

It's not that common in my social circles, however, DD and I have co-slept since she was born, she's 4 now and still co-sleeps.

I wouldn't be surprised if many do do it, but don't admit it for fear of the response?

TheSecretSantaDNCOP Sun 23-Dec-12 17:41:47

FF I'm a serial derailer grin

TraineeBabyCatcher Sun 23-Dec-12 17:42:28

We have intermittently co slept since ds was born. He's 5 now and we often still share the bed.

BertieBotts Sun 23-Dec-12 17:43:00

It's quite taboo, I think it's quite uncommon to do it. Certainly it's uncommon to make a conscious choice to - although lots of people do it "informally" either on occasion or regularly, but out of necessity. I think I read a survey which said 75% of parents do at some point?

FrillyMilly Sun 23-Dec-12 17:44:08

I think it is more common than people admit. I co sleep with my 4 year old and 1 year old. I didn't intend for this to happen. They both have their own beds but I doubt DC2 will ever sleep in the lovely cotbed. Me and DH both work and we do what ensures a good nights sleep all round.

FrillyMilly Sun 23-Dec-12 17:45:02

I also know people who are adamant their child will not get in their bed yet will sleep on a child's bedroom floor.

SneakyNuts Sun 23-Dec-12 17:45:44

I do, but I don't know anyone that does.

carabos Sun 23-Dec-12 17:46:41

I have two German friends, both single parents, both with sons of 11, both co-sleeping. Seems a bit odd to me at that age but there you go.

We co-slept with DS2 until I stopped bf when he was 27 months. He hasn't been back in our bed since.

I did and still do dd is nearly 3.6. I freely admit if anyone asks too.I couldn't care less about what anyone else says.
Although I was brought up in India where it the norm.

HearMyRoar Sun 23-Dec-12 17:50:33

About half of parents in the uk bed share at some point before their baby is 3 months stats here

This is just for the UK of course. In many, if not most, other countries it is far more common. Certainly having your baby in a separate room is a very recent thing and peculier to the west, not sure about having them in another bed but in the same room.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sun 23-Dec-12 17:51:37

We only started it when ds was 1 and started getting in our bed in the night without waking us up! Before that we'd be scared of crushing him.

BigShinyBaubles Sun 23-Dec-12 17:52:15

I did with all of my 3ds. Didn't have any problems getting them in their cots in their own rooms when they were a little older.

VelvetSpoon Sun 23-Dec-12 17:53:12

I did it, but I know none of my RL friends did.

When I've mentioned it before in front of people it tends to attract the hmm face.

Most people I know had babies who slept through the night from a few months, in their own rooms, so co-sleeping probably seems a bit strange.

notnagging Sun 23-Dec-12 17:57:40

I start the night by putting everyone in their beds, by the morning I usually have the youngest 2 at least in my bed. Sometimes I'm too tired to tell them to leave.

OvOinAManger Sun 23-Dec-12 17:58:01

I would say more people didn't/don't cosleep than did/do out of the people I know.

I still cosleep with my 5 year old. I find it weird trying to sleep without him there now. He's my wee hot water bottle.

mrscogon34thstreet Sun 23-Dec-12 18:02:07

I co slept with DS between 2 and 8 weeks, and occasionaly now if he has an unsettled night. Most people I know have done at least some cosleeping. If you think about it it's the most natural place (even if it's not as safe as a moses basket next to you) for a baby to sleep as when we lived in 'nature' years ago you would have wanted to protect your baby from animals and cold in the night, so it kind of makes sense that babies sleep better right next to their Mum.

I don't in general, not with DD (2yo) or DS (7wo). But the occasional night, perhaps when they weren't sleeping / poorly etc. then I did, but more by accident than anything else.
I did in the hospital too, although I know I probably shouldn't have. I know the midwife wasn't impressed when she caught me with DD, but again it was an accident. She didn't sleep and instead of waking everyone else up, she just rested in the crook of my arm and we both fell asleep.
No one caught me with DS grin

Shellywelly1973 Sun 23-Dec-12 18:03:04

I think many parents end up desperate for sleep & end up cosleeping through exhaustion!

Bicnod Sun 23-Dec-12 18:05:45

I did it sporadically with DS1 and didn't even bother trying to get DS2 to settle in the moses basket.

Co-sleeping saved me with both boys when they were newborns.

Doesn't happen now though unless DS2 is having a particularly bad night.

tittytittyhanghang Sun 23-Dec-12 18:05:54

In the world, I would have thought it fairly common. Uk, not so much. I did it but dont know much other people who did.

ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 18:11:53

I do let them stay in our bed if they aren't well or have got scared in the night

but if it was regular then I know that our relationship would suffer, and our sex life would be non-existent.

But that is just me and dh.

5madthings Sun 23-Dec-12 18:13:04

We have co-slept with ours after three years if crap sleep with ds1 we werent prepared to fo that again so opted to co-sleep and got rid of the cot. Youngest is 24mths and im our bed.

I know people in rl that do it and have had the odd judgey comment, mainly from family but it has worked for us and once dd is in her own bed it will feel very strange tbh as we have been co-sleeping with one child or another for the last 13yrs!

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman Sun 23-Dec-12 18:14:55

I did with dd. She used to get in our bed at about 3am right up til she was 4.
Ds on other hand refused to. Even as a new born he would not co sleep. He hated it. Slept better in his moses basket. He still never gets in our bed. Even for a cuddle on a morning. He wants to go straight downstairs.
I miss it. I loved dd being in our bed.

But on the upside. Ds slept through better than dd and sleeps 14 hours now. So it feels like normality has returned.

Ds is 22 months.

LilyVonSchtupp Sun 23-Dec-12 18:14:56

I agree that it is more common than most people admit. Almost everyone I know has done it at least a few times. I also know some single parents whose kids slept with them until teen years.

My DS refused to sleep anywhere else until about 9 mos old and still usually comes in with us at weekends hmm I personally think its a nice thing now and then but not all the time.

Sorry to bring class into it AGAIN but I do think it might be more of a working class thing. When I was growing up no one batted an eyelid and DSis told me to 'buy a bigger bed' when she first knew I was PG. In the NCT circles of north London however, it is talked about in Hushed Tones. grin

Procrastinating Sun 23-Dec-12 18:22:05

I do it every night but I don't know anyone else who does. I have slept with all 3 of my dc and now it is either the 3 year old or the 7 year old who shares my bed. The other two are in with their father.
I think this makes us very wierd, but I like it and we all sleep well.

I don't know how long it will continue with the 7 year old, until he doesn't want to I suppose.

I never did with dd and ds1. I was so scared I'd squish them in my sleep!

With ds2 however my need for sleep appears to be greater and I trust myself more. I don't sleep well when we co-sleep but I do get some sleep. I doubt it will be a very regular thing though. (he's only 2 weeks old atm).

Startail Sun 23-Dec-12 18:22:55

I didn't with FF DD1 because she was the most spectacular fidget.

Co slept bits of most nights with BF DD2 because she just snuggled up in the crook of my arm and slept.

Sometimes she stayed all night more often after an hour or to she'd happily go to her crib my the bed or her cot in her room when bigger.

soupmaker Sun 23-Dec-12 18:26:55

Before having DD I was adamant no child would sleep in our bed! I was even very scornful of mothers who did.

DD slept in a Moses basket, then cot in our room and eventually moved to her own. I've had her in bed with us loads, or just with me if DH heads to the spare room, when she's been poorly, unsettled, or just wanted a cuddle in the night. She is now nearly 5. And nearly every morning comes in for a cuddle.

Loads of my friends in RL were shock when I said I co-slept on occasion but secretly admitted to it later!

I love that she comes into our bed for a family cuddle in the morning.

foxache Sun 23-Dec-12 18:31:30

On ds's first night, the nurse told me to put him in bed with me. It was my first hours of sleep in days - it was brilliant.

Aged 10, he's still co-sleeping, every night. Perhaps I should worry - I do sometimes confused I'm worried we're turning into a married couple. I think we both like the comfort of it, having each other near.

I've been gently suggesting he start going to his own bed - I think in the New Year I'll change his room around and get him in there. sad

peeriebear Sun 23-Dec-12 18:31:43

I am with 14wo DS because when he was newborn he would NOT sleep anywhere but on me. The minute he went into moses basket/carseat/pram he would wake up. We tried all the tricks eg hot water bottle to warm the mattress, white noise app etc. To save going doolally he slept with me and still does. DH is more than ready to get our bedroom life back but I've said that DS is our last baby and is never going to be this wee and cute and needy again and he saw my point, plus night feeding is so much easier with him in bed.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Sun 23-Dec-12 18:33:14

We did most nights with ds1 until he magically accepted sleeping in his own cot, and ds2 is 9 months and has never slept an entire night in his own cot.

TheOriginalLadyFT Sun 23-Dec-12 18:38:09

I did it from the moment DS was born - exP had disappeared halfway thro pregnancy and I wanted my baby with me at all times

I had endless comments about how I'd squash/smother him (nope), how he'd never go in his own bed (he happily did when we were both ready), how he'd be a mummy's boy (well he loves his mum, but that's a good thing, right?!). Frankly, I couldn't give a shit then or now what other people thought - my baby, my rules. It helped enormously with bf and when I had to go back to work when he was 6mo, it meant I felt I could make up for missing him all day

ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 18:40:45

Are you a single parent foxache ?

I used to sleep in my mums bed when my dad was working away. Used to always look forward to it, and probably would have done it every night if I was allowed.

If you want to change your sleeping arrangements then I think you're gonna have to be really firm.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sun 23-Dec-12 18:44:51

After my parents divorced my brother ended up co-sleeping with my mum from the age of 4 until about 11 or 12. It was definitely a comfort thing for him. Once he was in high school he stopped of his own accord as he didn't want his friends to find out.

Tailtwister Sun 23-Dec-12 18:47:19

I don't know anyone else who does (or at least admits to it!), but we have with both our boys. DS1 co-slept until he was just over 3 (all night) and still comes in when he feels the need now he's 4.5. DS2 co-slept from birth and has just transitioned over to his own bed at 2.5. He starts of there and then migrates at around 4am.

It's not really something we discuss unless asked directly, so maybe some of our friends do it too. I think the majority see it as a kind of parenting failure for some reason. I see it as giving comfort as and when it's needed. They transition over to their own beds when they're ready.

Dromedary Sun 23-Dec-12 18:48:16

Often. Why do people disapprove of it?

I know my sister's daughter co-slept with her parents until she was 13.

IceNoSlice Sun 23-Dec-12 18:52:01

I had absolutely no idea co-sleeping was a taboo.

For us it has happened by accident really. 19wo DS starts the night in his cot in the nursery and I start the night in bed with DH. But by the 2am feed (which is the 3rd time he wakes up!!) and 3rd refusal to be put down in the cot, I usually give up and take him into the spare room.

A class thing?! Really?! Not convinced about that, but for what it's worth, I would say we're non-judgey MC, with friends of all classes.

CPtart Sun 23-Dec-12 18:56:01

God no, never done it and never would. Psychologically its so demanding having a newborn/young child and for many of us the only time away from them was bedtime.
No regrets. They are now 7 and 10 and have never ever crept into our bed at night. As a result we all have a good nights sleep and have done so for many years, in our own beds!

No, although there have been occasions when they were older about 3 or 4 years that they would come in.
n
The only person I knows

badguider Sun 23-Dec-12 19:03:29

i know that nothing you say before the birth has any meaning afterwards but i don't think we will.
i sleep like i'm in a coma and although i'm sure i'll sleep more lightly after the baby is born i would still worry as i know how deeply i'm capable of sleeping.
dh on the other hand can't sleep through a pin dropping so wouldn't sleep a wink with a baby in the bed (i think he'll struggle with a baby in the room tbh).

i never ever slept in my parents' bed - it never really occured to me to want to..

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Sun 23-Dec-12 19:04:07

I don't have children- but can I ask those who have done cosleeping for long periods of time...how do you get them to sleep in their own beds when it's time to make the jump...?

Spuddybean Sun 23-Dec-12 19:04:42

I do but must stop because i am not sleeping properly and DP is not in bed with us sad

Trying to convince DS of this, however, is a different matter...

Iggly Sun 23-Dec-12 19:07:08

Happens here. It's funny when you get talking to mums what they admit to!

foxache Sun 23-Dec-12 19:08:31

FF yes, single since ds was a toddler. He's always had a few too many hugs and kisses, but at what point does that become a problem?? Not in a weird way, just an overbearing, over-physical mum? I think I worry about that more than co-sleeping.

Anyway, I love having him there, hearing him breathing and knowing he's safe. When his unused room is sorted - it's a right state - I wonder if that'll be the time he wants to get away from me. You're right about needing to be firm, I think I'll try encouragement at first though.

Stickem, my situation sounds just like your brother and mum, I also fully expect ds to want his own space in the near future, especially when he changes school.

Iggly Sun 23-Dec-12 19:09:19

Euro I don't cosleep all the time. Only when they're unsettled. We sleep in their rooms so they've never slept in ours. Easy to get them in to their beds as they're already there. When they settle they stay there til morning

Amytheflag Sun 23-Dec-12 19:09:30

I'd never heard of it until I joined a few baby forums and read about it on there. I don't know anyone in real life who does it but then I don't know many mums lol

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Sun 23-Dec-12 19:10:48

My parents never co slept with me as a parenting style- but as soon as I could get myself out of my big girls bed, I'd run in for an cuddle in the mornings smile in fact I'm 22 but I still do when I'm occasionally home! grin

But even then, I still see 'the double bed' as a sexual domain. Not suggesting that its dodgy to have a child in bed with you AT ALL, I love family cuddles in bed- but surely long term it must get rather troublesome for those spontaneous shags? Or even 3am cuddles and random conversations?

I honestly don't mean to offend anyone, I'm really interested. Just my first opinion was a rather judge pants one that it would affect the relationship between mum and dad?

SamSmalaidh Sun 23-Dec-12 19:14:09

I think most people do it at least occasionally with children under 3.

Full time co-sleeping is less common though, but a sizeable minority I reckon - especially of people with breastfed babies under 6 months.

I only have 2 friends whose babies/toddlers are 100% co-sleepers. Most are like me - co-sleeping with little babies/using co-sleeper cots, then on-and-off as children need it as they get older. Then another few friends who are 100% cot/bed sleepers and would rather sleep on the child's floor than let them in their bed.

SamSmalaidh Sun 23-Dec-12 19:18:07

Euro - DS slept in our bed til about 6 months, then went into his own cot/room without any bother. Since then I'd say he is 80% in his own bed, but is in ours if ill, unsettled, we're away from home etc.

When he was little and breastfed, spontaneous shagging was not on the agenda at all grin but he was never bothered by talking/lights on/watching TV. Even now (aged 2.5) once he's asleep we can watch TV and chat around him.

Procrastinating Sun 23-Dec-12 19:20:33

EuroShopper I have 3 small dc and a full time job which I do from home. No help, no childcare. I am knackered, husband is knackered. Bed is for sleeping.
Just the idea of 3am cuddles and conversations made me snort.

XiCi Sun 23-Dec-12 19:23:01

We co-sleep with dd. Its funny because every time I've said that we co-sleep to other parents you can see the relief on their face that they can admit to it too. I think its way more common than you think. The majority of parents I know co-sleep. They just don't tell anyone because for some weird reason people in this country, esp my mum and dads generation, are really judgemental about it. You often get the rod for your own back shit trotted out. Is there a more annoying saying than that!

I do, but I lie to health visitors/midwives etc about it because whenever I've so much as mentioned it I've seen their faces.

We did have a co-sleeper attached to the bed for two of our three children but they still often end up physically next to me. I've always exclusively breastfed and I am lazy so it works out best smile

No problems getting them to sleep in their own beds when the time came (around 6 months-2 years depending on their personality) Usually this takes the form of putting them to sleep in their own cot and then bringing them through when they wake, and as they sleep for longer they sleep less in our bed. So still opportunities for adult time!

I think probably half of my friends do - those that don't are very adamant about not doing it and are often up half the night, ironically dangerously falling asleep on sofas feeding etc which is precisely why we decided to do co-sleeping properly the correct way with our first.

foxache Sun 23-Dec-12 19:44:53

Yes, health professionals and midwives have always disapproved a bit;
'if he's still in the bed at 1yo, he'll be there at 5' (he was)
'it's ok at 5, if he's there at 9, he'll be your husband' confused

WelshMaenad Sun 23-Dec-12 20:00:04

I co slept occasionally with dd (she was a super sleeper, night doses of sedative anti seizure mess until 6 months probably helped) and didn't often need it.

DS was less of a super sleeper and we co slept with him until he was about 18m - once he got to about 1 he started sleeping through most nights and it was just the occasional night if he woke and wouldn't settle that he came in with us.

Both children (6 and 2) now self settle in their own beds and sleep through so I have no time for this rod/own back nonsense.

I wasnt aware it was so taboo shock. I made a conscious decision to co sleep with my 1yr old. with my older 3 it was more by accident...as for mine and dh sex life? Surely you just get a bit more creative?

I love cosleeping...he is my last baby and I am making the most of the snuggly cuddles and big kisses in the morning .

ValiumQueen Sun 23-Dec-12 20:04:12

My first two were in their cots in their own rooms before they were a week old. My third however, age 8 weeks has only spent one night in a cot -age 5 weeks in hospital and wired up to monitors- as he simply will not sleep away from me. Believe me I have tried, but I decided it was safer to co-sleep intentionally than fall asleep accidentally whilst trying to get him to sleep in a cot. I have two other children to consider too, so it is not as if I can nap in the day. Up until last night he slep between us. As of tonight he is in his cot which I have adapted as a co-sleeper. Hopefully it will work.

My aim is to get him sleeping in his own room, but I must admit I am loving co-sleeping. I always wanted to, but DH is against bed sharing, and due to safety issues and the girls being little snorters, they were evicted early. I have bf all three, and it is so much easier doing it in bed.

I do not know anyone in RL who does, but my HV has been very supportive.

Oh, and I am not at all common grin

BubblesAndBeans Sun 23-Dec-12 20:09:37

My dd is 11 months and she starts off in her own cot every night. If she wakes up after we have gone to bed, she co-sleeps with us the rest of the night. I dont mind it all and actually sleep a lot better knowing she is right next to me.
Not a lot of people openly talk about it though so i dont tell many people. Even my own mum, who is a very open minded person generaaly,thinks it is the wrong thing to do. Personally i believe this: whatever sleep arrangement gets your family the most sleep, is the best sleep arrangement for your family.

Tamdin Sun 23-Dec-12 20:10:57

I do. Ds1 (6) starts off in his own bed but comes in at some point every night and ds2 (22mths) has never slept in his cot all night. Luckily dh and I are on the same page with co-sleeping so it's no biggie for us
I wouldn't say it's common in my group of friends. I have 3 co-sleeping friends I can think of out 15. Hth

TraineeBabyCatcher Sun 23-Dec-12 20:12:02

murderofprose as a student midwife, co sleeping is one of few things I have failed to admit to my colleagues in fear of a few hmm

RowanTheRedNosedMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 23-Dec-12 20:20:58

Hello

This one isn't an AIBU so we've moved it to 'Sleep'.

Thanks

mummysmellsofsick Sun 23-Dec-12 20:24:43

We do and we love it. We'd miss his soft warm head if it wasn't there ready to bite us awake in the morning grin

MustafaCake Sun 23-Dec-12 20:38:07

Lots of my friends and I tend to pop baby in the cot to sleep but then take baby into bed when s/he wakes to BF or settle them.

So a mix of cot sleeping and co sleeping!

It has certainly worked for me, DS2 settles far better lying next to me then DS1 who I paced the floor with for hours as a baby!

Doraemon Sun 23-Dec-12 20:39:29

I co-slept with DS1 and 2, planning on co-sleeping with DD1 when she arrives. And will be co-sleeping with 7 year old DS1 tomorrow night because he is frightened of Father Christmas coming.....

Bagofmashings Sun 23-Dec-12 20:50:20

Yep- I did it from day 1. I didn't intend to but I found everyone slept much better that way and I couldn't bare to let go of my pfb. At about 12 months he suddenly started sleeping in his own cot and is usually a great sleeper although I definitely sleep better if he's next to me.

Bagofmashings Sun 23-Dec-12 20:52:01

To answer your question, yes, I think it is quite common. Lots of people say they don't cosleep but actually in my experience it often emerges that their child does sleep in their bed for some of the night.

stickygingerbread Sun 23-Dec-12 20:58:05

i never intended to, but ds wore me down quickly. he refused to sleep by himself or, indeed, to be put down for long at any time. taking him in the stroller was a fiasco - shouting and carrying on the entire time. had to sling him.

it was the night he roared for 3 hours and no sign of stopping that made me willing to do anything to never live through that again. I got so much more sleep after, even sleeping sitting up as i did to stop any chance of rolling over.

stickygingerbread Sun 23-Dec-12 21:01:21

another thing i noticed was that ds's breathing as a nb was very uneven, full of hitches and pauses, but when he slept on me his breathing would even out and match mine.
he is now almost 6 and only comes in with me and dd (2) when dh is away, and morning cuddles. but yes, am now broken to co-sleeping saddle.

CordeliaChase Sun 23-Dec-12 21:33:24

I have never co slept with my DS. I was too paranoid to if I'm honest! My DS liked his space when he was going to sleep though, hated being swaddled and still asks for his bed when he's tired (he's 2).

Much more common than is freely admitted to.... But when I say I do I often find friends admit to it too... Our local hospital has started setting up for co-sleeping so not as taboo as it used to be as long as you do it sensibly.

Common as in normal!!!!!

slightlysoupstainedbabygrows Sun 23-Dec-12 21:52:16

Like foxache, on my first night in hospital a nurse/midwife encouraged me to keep DS in with me. Have coslept since. He's 4 months now.

People keep asking if he's "sleeping through" & have to admit, I don't blooming know - I don't really have to wake up properly to feed him, so don't really remember when or how often he feeds during the night.

We co-sleep sometimes. LO has been in his own bed since 1 week old, but if he wakes in the night/is feeling poorly/just wants to cuddle then we co-sleep.
We generally only do it in the single bed in his room though - our bed in our room is lovely and comfy for morning snuggles, but he won't go to sleep if his Dad is in the bed too! He is 8 months old.

BitofSparklingPerry Mon 24-Dec-12 00:09:03

We dont exactly co sleep, as the dds have their own beds...sometimes they wake up in each others bed, sometimes ours, or I end up in one f theirs.

My parents did the same.

You just do what gets the most sleep, don't you?

blushingmare Mon 24-Dec-12 10:53:03

SecretSanta I just snorted my tea out of its mug! grin

PMSL at SecretSanta grin (the class thing was a JOKE people! A JOKE!)

DS always starts the night in his cot but we usually end up co-sleeping from around midnight. I always start the night in his cot in the hope that he'll eventually sleep there for longer and longer stretches. I'm really not keen on co-sleeping but it beats the exhaustion from jigging in and out of his room on an hourly basis in the wee hours.

KatieLily12 Tue 25-Dec-12 07:26:02

Amongst my friends it's quite common and they co slept with their parents. We co sleep as I felt it was easier with BF and also did lots if reading around attachment while doing my degree so I was sold on the safety/ benefits side.

I think you often end up co sleeping whether its planned or not at different phases as needs must. That's my standard answer when I get a bad reaction. I started to refer to it as 'dropping the c bomb' with my partner as I have had some very strongly judgemental responses. I actually don't bother telling most people due to the unhelpful responses about spoiling my baby or safety. I can usually tell who not to tell instantly as they ask 'are they good?' That question drives me nuts!

Jojobells1986 Tue 25-Dec-12 07:33:02

I tried it with DS but he'd cry until he was put down alone! hmm I'm constantly telling unborn-DC that (s)he had better be a slightly more cuddly baby or I'm going to sulk!

forgottenpassword Tue 25-Dec-12 08:03:53

I co-sleep with 3 Dc aged 5, 3 and 1. Dc love it and I love it (though can get a bit squashy at times). It is safe if right precautions are taken with small babies.

It's very weird the way that we judge others for things like this (especially once they have passed the age when no-one suggests it is not safe). I suspect that sometimes we (including me) like to have our parenting choices affirmed as few of us really have any idea whether what we are doing is "the right thing". But really there is rarely any one right way. We just have to have confidence in the choices we make for our own families and not to be afraid of what others say.

Right, I am off to devour chocolate santas. Have a magical Xmas!

Jeggie Tue 25-Dec-12 08:08:10

I planned to from the start as I read that overall you get more sleep and that it helps with breast feeding. It worked well for us. I was very rarely tired. Dd is now 12m and goes down in her cot in own room but comes into us around 2-4 when she wakes hungry. I'm too sleepy (lazy?!) to settle her back in cot, much easier to take to ours, latch on and both go back to sleep. I'm confident she will one day sleep all night in her own bed, but for now this works for us.

I personally think it is quite common and it would be better if people talked about it more. Lots of people seen to feel like they are doing something wrong if they cosleep. But it can easily be made safe and the sleep benefits are good IMO. Yes you get disturbed more often but you are in tune with baby so it is a gentle awakening not the baby screaming in another room shock bolt upright thing. Research has shown you get more sleep overall.

catwoman101 Tue 25-Dec-12 20:24:52

I don't understand all these posts saying more people do it than admit to it. My dd is 12wo and almost all our baby friends say they do it and no one bats an eyelid.

I personally never would with a baby, but if an older child was ill and needed comfort ( and was old enough to escape my efforts to take over the bed) then I would try it.

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