Exhausted first-timer need advice and opinions

[roslily]

I have posted a bit about this before. My ds is 12weeks old. he has never been a good sleeper, never had that newborn sleepy phase. However it isn't getting any better as he gets older, it is getting worse. During day he just won't sleep.

I don't really know what sleep cues to look out for, he yawns anything from 10mins after he has woken up. So after he has been awake about an hour I look for signs he is tired, when I think he is I swaddle him, put dummy in and have tried shush-pat/rocking/white noise CD. Sometimes this works, sometimes he gets hysterical. If he falls asleep he only stays asleep for 30mins and wakes up screaming.

I have tried co-sleeping. If I stay with him, sometimes he stays asleep, other times he wake sup after 10mins and screams.

He will sometimes fall asleep in sling, but he screams a lot first and I have to walk for about half an hour, which then means walking for 2 hours to give him enough sleep. I can't do this 3-4 times a day! He will only sleep for 30mins in pram, and this isn't always guaranteed to get him to sleep.

he hates the car and screams in it.

He was diagnosed with reflux, but gaviscon didn't help and made him constipated. All 3 GPs at my surgery have refused to give him anything else- saying "he'll grow out of it". I am not sure if it is reflux but he vomits a lot- it soaks the front of him and me every time. (12-15times a day)I have no idea if this is effecting his sleeping.

I am exhausted. he just gets more and more overtired so that evenings are hell. I feel like I spend the whole day trying to get him to sleep, until we ar eboth crying.

Has anyone got any suggestions?

[Tomsslave]

I'm not sure about the reflux but my son was born nocturnal and would only sleep in a sling during the day. I agree - very tiring! My life was transformed when a friend lent me her indoor battery operated swing. I know they don't work for all babies but it may be worth a try. Toys r us stock a good range if you can't borrow one..

[2ChildrenPlusLA]

How often do you feed him and for how long? Are you FF or BF?

[roslily]

FF him every 3 hours ish, unless he is hungrier sooner. I feed on demand, but mostly that is every 3 hours.

I have a swing that he used to sleep in for about 20mins, but now he doesn't.

[2ChildrenPlusLA]

Could you try feeding every 1.5 hours? Don't fret if he doesn't take it, but he'll probably take less and avoid the reflux symptoms. Don't wake him in the night obviously, but during the day try it.

[nearlymum]

I feel your pain ! My 9 week old rarely sleeps any longer than 30 mins during the day and is waking on the dot for feeds during the night. Feel like I've a;ready ruined him with regards to rocking him to sleep have visions of still doing it when he is 18 ! Does anyone know a way of encouraging longer sleep periods effectively.

Not sure about the reflux - would advise speaking to Health Visitor or Midwife though as they are usually more clued up than the GP !

With regards to the feeding - my little one is now on 4 hourly feeds having been 3 hourly. I tried the on demand feeding on Health Visitors advice after he was already settled on 4 hourly - it was a nightmare, he wouldn't settle, sleep at all or take anywhere near the recommended feed amount. He much prefers us to set his routine - maybe this would help your little one settle more ? I tried the on demand as they recommend it but it really didn't suit him or me ! Good luck

[noblegiraffe]

Have you tried music? If mine gets overtired, putting on loud music can shut him up instantly. I also find rocking to sleep much more successful if I rock him to something with a beat (no gentle lullabies, he likes upbeat pop).

Music also works in the car (he, too, screamed). If I put it on loud enough to drown him out, he stops (like he can't compete), then I turn it down and he actually stays quiet then goes to sleep. Car journeys were miserable before this discovery.