Thanks girlsyearapart that's reassuring to know it's not just my DS who does it. Sneaky little sods poppets aren't they?!

Think you're right that a quick change with no attention is the only way to deal with it. Am happy to hear otherwise if anyone else has good ideas though....?

Ha! my dd2 does the poo thing too!she's nearly 14mo. She does it if I put her to bed and cries to be picked up. I go back in every 5 mins to give her back her dummy and lie her back down if she's still crying but try not to pick her back up again. She's done it a few times now- I just bring her down change her without talking then put her back to bed. As far as I can see it's the only thing you can do..

Happybump I'm in exactly the same situation, give or a take a couple of months - number 2 is due in April and DS has started showing interest in potty but isn't yet at the stage that I feel he's ready to be properly potty trained. He'll be moving into a big bed and new bedroom around Christmas which I hope will give him plenty of time to adjust to it before number 2 arrives.

He's also able to do without a nap some days and I dread the prospect of having him up all day and me not getting a break at all! But on the days when he doesn't nap (which isn't often, because I don't let it happen if I can help it!) he passes out at 6:30pm so at least I don't have the bedtime issues. It's a bit of a rock and a hard place isn't it.

Last night I put him back to bed 4 times with no speech / attention and he then went to sleep which was a result.

I forgot to mention, he has a particular trick up his sleeve. The moment you put him to bed he then forces out a poo so you have to change him (therefore getting attention). Last night he did that, I changed him, put him back to bed and he then did another one, then came and found me and said "Mummy, another poo!" so I had to change him again.

I'm not sure what to do about this - obviously I can't ignore him, he has to be changed as I don't want him lying in poo. And I don't want to shout at him / tell him off for pooing as we've had constipation issues in the past so congratulating him for doing a poo is a must. But is there a way to encourage him to do a poo earlier in the day, or discourage him from doing it as a way to get attention when he should be going to sleep? At the moment all i can do is change him as quickly and quietly as possible and hope it's not much of a 'reward' for him.

Any ideas?

wow! it is so interesting to see that others are going through the same thing.

My DS is almost 23 months and he has just started to resist going for his afternoon nap. When he goes down he sleeps for about 2 hours. The nap time has moved from 12.30-2.30 to more like 1.30 or 2ish - 3.30 or 4ish. He has missed a few daytime naps in the last week or two and actually been fine without them. I am dreading he might be dropping his daytime nap.

I persuade him up to bed by letting him choose a couple of toys to play with in his cot with his favourite stuffed animal. I usually hear him chatting for about 20 mins before he passes out which by that time is more like 2.30 ... which then of course impacts his evening bedtime. The only upside is that now instead of waking up at 6.30am he now wakes at 7.15am which is great.

Today I woke him after an hour, so I am going to see if this will work to try and get him back on track, but he ended up still wanting to play until later than his normal bed time.

Aarrgghhh! I had really hoped that he would keep this nap for at least another 6-12 months. I am expecting our second baby in January.

I haven't exactly started potty training but DS has started asking to use the potty fairly regularly now ... I am trying to build myself up to potty training ... I am worried about DS reverting to nappies as soon as the new baby arrives. Plus I wanted to move him into a new bed ... so many changes!

Snowtiger - I know, had the same problems. Had to give DH very clear instructions when it was his turn to go upstairs

It's hard but I found that having a 'you will not win this, you can try all you like but you will not break me' attitude actually helped me to stay calm (albeit with a slightly smug look on my face that I hoped was not premature and would eventually pay off!)

I hope it works for you. I think it is a 'nip it in the bud' situation, before you are like those poor families you see on S'nanny where the child tries it on 156 times before actually going to sleep. Avoiding that was my main motivation!!

That's reassuring to know, Toosh. My problem is consistency; after returning DS to bed with no attention / reaction ten times I often lose my rag and shout at the little bugger love, then get really annoyed at myself for having given in and shouted! Or I'll do the no reaction thing and then DH will go up to him and talk to him while putting him back to bed! Gaaah!

Definitely need to try three or four consecutive nights of the no attention / reaction approach and see if it pays off.

Obviously if you think they are teething or genuinely upset, this won't work, but if you do think it is an attention-seeking thing, it seemed to work for us.

"re-settling lately has worked by singing to him but I wonder if he is crying repeatedly because he wants more songs?"

We had this with our 2.7 yo DD. She kept getting out of bed and shouting/crying for us at bedtime. We tried being nice, getting angry, everything.. but nothing worked apart from the old supernanny trick of showing absolutely no emotion/reaction whatsoever.

We just calmly walked her back to bed and tucked her in. First time we explained it was bedtime, said goodnight etc, but after the first couple of times, we then said nothing, just placed her back in bed.

After a couple of nights of her getting no attention/reaction from us, she gave up.

I do believe that it is an attention thing, so if you take away the reaction, they realise it is futile and give up.

Hi, I am in the exact same situation! Feel like crying this morning but am literally too tired. 2.5 yr old DS refuses to stay in bed at bedtime then is up in the night into our bed. Whined for a cuddle from me from 4.30am this morning, even though he was in our bed and I was cuddling him!?

We have tried all sorts. The rapid return, sitting at his bedroom door when he can see me. But like you it takes up the whole evening, and I feel like I get no break, and should probably go to sleep once he does in order to prepare for the night ahead!

I started a sticker chart yesterday. A sticker for being a good boy at bedtime, and one for staying in bed all night. Once he has a row of five he will get a "prize". Have talked it through with him... interesting to see when he actually gets a sticker! He wanted one this morning, so at least he is thinking about it.

If anything, it is a relief I am not the only one dealing with this. it feels so out of the blue. zzzzzzzzzzzz

Thanks snowtiger - without wanting to delight in others problems there is some reassurance in knowing it's not something we've done, and it is ultimately a phase - just one that needs handling perhaps rather than enduring.

I have read some of Toddler Taming and find it useful in part, but extreme in others - like you there is pretty much no way I would shut him in his room and leave him to it - I am pretty sure if I did that he would end up being sick, for a start.

No eye contact, no speaking - is that rapid return? I worry that not hearing reassurances like goodnight, mummy loves you etc wouldn't help the crying stop. But maybe they would after a while - I think you're right, the main thing is consistency. It is just hard as while I don't want to be harsh, neither does DP and one of us has to take the initiative to say 'this is what we're doing' or we will end up spending the whole night in his room (not that I think this method is harsh, at all! just that it is hard to change whatever it is you're doing - from lots of singing etc to none is a big change).

It is SO tiring isn't it, because of course then the problem is by the time they have gone to sleep, WE are knackered and want to go to bed too! It kills me when I have no peace during an entire day - whether that's a daytime nap or evening break I don't mind.

Good luck and do let me know how it goes.