I have a dd age 2.4yrs and ds 10 mth. Bed time routine is getting harder and harder.
My dh works shifts so is hardly ever here to help.
I started off with taking dd to bed as normal,ds on my knee. Stories,beaker of milk for dd bf ds. Sometimes I would go put ds in bed then come back and sit with dd, or just sit with her till she fell asleep.
dd used to go to sleep well, and never/hated getting in our bed. However since ds was born she started to get in with us.
(should have left her in a cot)

Then bedtime routine changed to sitting on our bed, bf ds stories,milk etc.... for dd. She fell asleep and was then carried into own bed.

My problem now is ds just can't have is bed time feed as he is just so nosey and wants to see/play with dd.
Now I can't put him to bed first and let her play, as she is into everything, and just keeps coming into bedroom and disturbing him.
I can't put her to bed first as then ds is layed crying and she then can't sleep and it upsets me so much, I just end up near to tears, chest starts getting tight and I end up yelling at dd to either
'get in bed'
'wait in bed, mummy is coming back'etc....
It really is horrendous and stressful. Bedtime tonight took an hour with screams from both while I flitted from room to room trying to console. I could just sit and cry.
I have tried the rapid return routine with dd. I hated every minute of it,but worked in 3 days.
(only did it at bed time not in middle of night,when she gets in with us.thought just one step at a time)
My dh then undid all my hard and upseeting work as when he is off he can't do it, as she has never really let him put her to bed unless exhausted and he can not let her cry at all.
So sorry this is long, I am really at a loss as feeling guilty enough about dd as she seams to dislike ds and seems very jealous. DShe hits him/lashes out at him at any given opportunity but that is probably for another thread.
Any advice or tips gratefully recieved. Thanks