Well, things seem to be improving - slightly. She is now at least staying in bed! I reminded her to do everything/get everything she needed before lights out so that there would be NO excuse for getting up. Seems to be helping, just reminding her to do this each night....

I don't think 8 is particularly late really, later than I would like for a 7/8 yo but not a time that makes me suck air over my teeth like a plumber on an emergency callout on a christmas weekend

It is the not being asleep until 9.30/10 that seems a bit much too me - just because I have been there - and out the other side and I know where I am intending to stay

well we chose 8pm when we were getting DS1 into a bedtime routine when he was 6 months old......and it just stuck with the others

Still get 4 hours of childfree time - as DS1 who goes up at 8.45 just gets on with something quietly - infact I've been known to forget he's still up until he suddenly says "night mum" LOL.

You don't need to be cross with her! I just changed the rules and stuck to it. Dd was involved, she was told what the new rules would be, we discussed the fact that things like cds etc were not helping. We practiced relaxation techniques before hand (tensing and relaxing muscles, picturing positive, calm places and so on) so as I knew she had all the tools I could arm her with before we began. On the first night she pulled out all the stops and I did exactly what I had told her I would - said, "no, it is sleep time" took her to her bed and left her there. She tried drinks, toilet, stories, tv... you get the idea. Each night before bed I reminded her of the new rules and what we were trying to do (help her be able to fall asleep by herself at a good time). She had to think about the things she needed to do to let that happen (I need to get a drink, go to the toilet, relax..). Each morning I congratulated on something - even if I had to, more or less, make it up!

It was quite painless just... intense IYSWIM

CheekyGirl - DS1 (9) and DS2 (7) are in bed at 7.45 p.m. Read for bit then asleep 8.15 p.m and out of bed 6.45 a.m

Your DD is gettting 9.5 hours of sleep and our DSs are getting 10.5 hours. However, our DSs do a lot of sport which makes them tired.

Does your DD do any really tiring excercise? If not, she will not need a lot of sleep.

Maybe lavendar sprayed on her pillow might help her relax?
Though she will actually have to be in bed for it to work

DS was 8 yesterday (Happy Birhtday DS) and he goes to bed at 8 and reads til 8.30pm. He is awake between 5.45 and 6.30. He reads in his room until 6.45am.
He has always been an early riser, and even if in bed later he still wakes early and is then grumpy all the next day!
He sometimes has an early night - 7.30 bed, 8 lights out - often when DH is working late (now I wonder why that is?!)

Right again, name changer!! this is what I said to dh - I can't relax fully knowing she is still awake!!

I don't like to get cross with her, as she isn't exactly being naughty - just unable to relax!!

has anyone tried homeopathy or anything similar??

I must admit, one of the great things about getting a handle on dd2 was getting back my evenings - even though she was in bed, the fact that she was still awake meant I couldn't relax properly. It is possible that part of my shock is actually horror at all you Mums who are still going through the same thing - maybe I am selfish but, I find my childless evenings to be a vital part of the day IYSWIM

Guessswhat - my DS2 (5) and DS3 (2) go to bed at 8pm . Always have done and will continue to do so for a few more years yet

I am stunned - my 14yo is in bed before 10 on a school night and is asleep by 10/10.15 at the absolute latest. I can't believe your dc are up this late!

<disclaimer, this is genuine surprise not a judgement on anyone>