What the baby books tell you is evil - part one

[lowrib]

I'm a new mum. While feeding my 3mo DS he sometimes stops feeding, looks me in the eye and grins with delight. We beam at each other for a few minutes before he goes back to feeding. It is the loveliest thing ever.

But according to some books I've read I'm not meant to make eye contact at night feeds at all . So if I paid any attention to them, we'd either not experience this magic moment, or maybe I'd feel like I'd done something wrong.

Some of the baby books really leave me cold.
Is it just me or is a lot of the advice in them designed get in the way of instinct and the mother - baby bond (and the father-baby bond too) rather than reinforcing or encouraging natural instincts which IMO are most likely there for a reason? It all seems to about working against your instincts as a mother.

Am I being unduly cynical or is it true that a load of damaging rubbish being peddled to women at a time when they could actually do with some decent advice?

[lowrib]

Actually I'm off to post this in AIBU! (Apologies in advance for the double post).

[thehouseofmirth]

Nope, you are not being unduly cynical at all. I think it's a bigger problem than just the books though - for various reasons many parents have lost touch with. or lost confidence in their natural parenting abilities and instincts and these books encourage that.

It's nice to hear from a new mum who can see through the crap and follow her heart. I'm sure you & your DS will have a much more positive experience of his babyhood as a result.

[MrsJamin]

oh enjoy the milky smiles - I miss them! yes burn the books and go with your instincts

[JollyPirate]

Oh it's such a lovely moment when they do this DS was like this too - he's now 6 and still as smiley as ever. No way could I ever have followed the "no eye contact" books. It didn't get in the way of his sleep - he slept through the night from about 6 months and from the 7pm-7am that a certain guru advocates.