3 wk old - what should I expect?

[panicpanicpanic]

Hiya,

Can anyone let me know what their DC was like sleep-wise at about 3 to 4 wks old?

Would they sleep in their cot or did they end up in car seat, bouncy chair etc? Would they self settle? Where/how long would they sleep at night?

I'm frustrated that my 3 wk old isn't going down to sleep well and was wondering if I'm expecting too much or if there really is a problem. I really want to work towards a good routine (on Baby Whisperer at the moment - or trying anyway!) as I'm not someone who would cope well without some sort of routine.

Thanks

[Clayhead]

At 3 weeks neither of my dc had any discernible sleeping habit. They mostly did their sleeping on either me or dh and did not settle themselves until much, much later.

Not sure if you can read too much into future habits by how they are at 3 weeks

[thisisyesterday]

ds1 fed 4 hourly round the clock and slept beautifully in between.

ds2 fed every 30-45 mins, screamed most of the time and would only ever fall asleep on the breast and would wake screaming if I even hinted at the cot!

they're all different, and at 3 weeks old I personalyl think that the absolute best thing you can do is just go with the flow. they need you, they need the comfort of being with you and it's ok to do that

[McDreamy]

IMO far to early to expect any kind of routine. DD is 5 weeks now and I am starting to see a pattern in her sleeping/napping. We co sleep so night time sleeping is easier than it was for my other 2 dcs.

I seem to remember 6 week being the magical time for routines emerging.

Enjoy your baby, they grow up so fast - but it's bloody hard work isn't it

[MrsMattie]

Expect nothing! Small babies are unpredictable and one 3 wk old is different to the next.

My son hardly napped at all at this age and woke several times a night to feed. DD was sleeping 5-6 hour stretches at night and sleeping practically all day at 3 weeks. Nothing I did or didn't do. They were just different babies.

Try to relax (hard I know, but just tell yourself this is all normal and will pass).

[rubyslippers]

you are expecting too much

most babies need a feed, burp, nappy change, swaddle and a sleep - they need much less awake time than you think

they also need lots of help to get to sleep at this age - dummies, feeding to sleep, swaddle, stroking etc

all of this is usual - ignore the baby whisperer stuff which calls all of the above "props"

[SniffyHock]

Sounds very normal. I followed Baby Whisperer too and remember finding it hard at 3/6 weeks worrying that baby should be sleeping in his crib but that would mean I'd never see him!! Keep following the EASY routine but don't excpect to see a routine really emerge until 9-12 weeks ish.

Keep at it - my DS is now nearly 5 and both him and DD are fantastic sleepers. Have dug out my copy for number 3 due now!!!

[panicpanicpanic]

Thanks, I think maybe I've been expecting too much but really fear teaching her to sleep on me or in car seat and being stuck with that once she gets older. Really don't want to create problems for myself later on but equally don't want to expect too much too soon!!!

[nowwearefour]

3 weeks old is just so very very little ! both mine fed loads at that age and neither slept well at all. i fed them both to sleep and just slept whenever they did at that age (well with the first anyway!!). keep up trying to put baby down in a cot (not car seats as not good for their back) or crib or wherever but dont extrapolate too much into future sleeping from how they sleep now. FWIW at 4 weeks i decided to sleep my dd1 on her front and since hten she went from not sleeping much at all to becoming (and still is) the best sleeper i have ever known.....

[Biglips]

yes go with the flow and enjoy.

[panicpanicpanic]

Thanks, before I had her I think I had in mind what friends babies are like and expected mine to be similar with sleep, but of course shes very different.
I really want her to end up sleeping well in her cot and feel like I've failed if I haven't managed it but I guess as long as I keep trying we'll get there in the end.

[digitalgirl]

DS was the sleepiest baby until he got to 3 weeks. Then he needed to either be sleeping on me, on DH or swaddled tightly in his moses basket in which we'd also placed rolled towels either side of him so he could feel 'held'. Couldn't read BW as a lot of what I was doing was considered 'accidental parenting' and made me feel terrible. Instead I enjoyed the cuddles with ds and let him sleep on me and feed to sleep until he was old enough to let me put him down once asleep.

Also, the EASY routine didn't work for us in the first 4 months, DS fed constantly till 12 weeks and then was fed to sleep till about 5 months (for naps and bedtime). Now he's 6 months we're on EASY and it works for DS. Point is, your baby's routine will change constantly from now till, oooh forever.

[Clayhead]

You haven't failed! You can't make her sleep. She is how she is (and friends also sometimes don't quite tell it how it is either...)

Try to enjoy her as much as you can, she'll grow so fast.

[nowwearefour]

oh yes 3 weeks is just so long. try with the daytime sleeps and it will come. you might need to give her just a little time to self settle once she is a little bit older- it takes a few mins for them to get to sleep themselves. but 3 weeks is really far too young to be worrying about anything. my dd2 was a real monkey but i persevered and she is fine in her cot now. you will get there! but right now just enjo her being sooooo little and young!

[digitalgirl]

If she likes sleeping on you at the moment you might want to get a sling so you can go for walks or potter round the house while she's asleep. Don't worry about bad sleep habits at this stage, every now and again try putting her down in the cot/crib and if she cries you can just try again another day (and it WILL come, and you'll wonder what you were worrying about).

[ChocOrange05]

My DS was always fed to sleep at this age with me sneaking out of the room trying to avoid the creaky floorboards .

When he got to about 8 weeks I started putting him down less and less asleep IYSWIM? I started off by saying good night so he would stir when I put him down and gradually (over 2-3 weeks) progressed to making sure he went down awake and now at 18 weeks he goes down awake (or sometimes almost asleep if he's very tired). At 3 weeks you probably want to do whatever works to get sleep, but when you are ready then you can try to encourage self settling. I didn't make the most of my son being newborn as I was very stressed about it all and now the time has gone so fast and he wants to be playing not cuddling so try and enjoy how little and cuddly your DC is!

PS - don't anyone shoot me, but we did Gina Ford as I preferred it to BW (I needed a more detailed routine as I hadn't a clue) and its been my sanity saver! Just another routine to bear in mind.

[Pinkglow]

My four month gos to sleep in his cot and I can put him down awake and he will settle (im also a routine person)

BUT

at 3 weeks he was in our bed and I was cuddling him to sleep sometimes resorting to the dummy and he would wake every 2-3 hours. My DH during this was asleep in the living room. Thats just how it is in the early days.

Its too early to make 'bad habits' as young babies are normally very adaptable and you can encourage him later to sleep on his own etc you have plenty of time.