DD1 was a terrible sleeper - didn't sleep for more than about 45 minutes, maybe 90 minutes at a push, round the clock, until she was eight months old. By a year, she slept beautifully and has done ever since.
DD2 - a better sleeper from the word go... doing maybe three hours at a stretch pretty early on. Then a few weeks ago she did up to six hours, and then five hours, for three nights. I was over the moon!
However, apart from those three blissful nights she wakes every hour on the hour from 11pm onwards, having gone down beautifully at 6:30-7pm and done a stretch of four or so hours.
I am a wreck. My DH doesn't really understand. I went to the doctor yesterday and wept and he has prescribed antidepressants...
DD2 is exclusively breastfed. She is three months old today. My Mum thinks I should put her on formula (yawn). I won't. I don't feed her every time she cries, unless she's going through a growth spurt. I do leave her to self-settle if I think she will, but sometimes she just can't. DD1 wouldn't take a dummy, but I use a dummy from time to time with DD2 - and make sure it's out of her mouth before she falls "properly" asleep.
I'm not doing anything differently at the moment from when she was doing six hours in a row... so please don't tell me what I "should" be doing. I believe babies just learn how to sleep in their own time, no matter what books we read to the contrary.
What I want is comfort. Understanding from people who REALLY know what sleep deprivation feels like, and who won't joke about "it's a form of torture you know". Yes I DO KNOW. I AM EXPERIENCING IT AT THE MOMENT. I FEEL SICK WITH EXHAUSTION. It makes me feel so worthless and like I am the least cared-for person in this family. No one would care if I collapsed. But because I somehow manage to keep going day in, day out, everyone thinks I'm fine. I'm not!
I asked DH if he and Mum could share a night maybe once a week (he couldn't do a whole night as he has MS) - and he said he didn't think my Mum would be able to do the 2am-7am shift as it's too hard . Ok she's quite elderly, but it's amazing how no one else can be put through the pain of what I go through EVERY NIGHT.
I said to him that even if she did those five hours once a week, SHE COULD GO HOME AND SLEEP DURING THE DAY (she's retired). I can't do that! If DD2 is awake, SO AM I!
No one gets it. The relentless slog of 24/7 babycare. This was a much-wanted baby (after two miscarriages) but I really wonder whether she was a huge mistake .
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Just need some comfort and support
37 replies
Verso · 24/02/2009 04:29
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