Im doing controlled crying and its killing me hearing my baby crying

[ellideb]

Please give me some words of support to carry it through as I would feel cruel to pick him up now after leaving him for 25mins

[bronze]

25 mins?



I didn't think controlled crying just meant to leave them full stop. Or am I wrong?

[Twims]

You're doing fine - it will be worth it (hug)

[ellideb]

Aparently so. Its called extinction and its the most effective form of sleep training but I feel bloody cruel.

[fishie]

how old is he? it isn't recommended for babies under 1.

[thisisyesterday]

why on earth would it be cruel to pick him up?

your baby needs you. please go to him

[fishie]

i wouldn't do anything called 'extinction' to a baby.

[thisisyesterday]

yes, what you're doing is cry it out. not controlled crying.

there is nothing controlled about leaving a baby to cry for that amount of time.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

If you feel so badly, dont carry on with it. It's not supposed to be done for babies under 6 months, and I'd not really do it for a baby under 1 year.

For my sanity I chose the path of least resistance with DS because he struggled with settling and it wasnt his fault. It meant cuddling him to sleep and lots of b/feeding. But actually, there isnt anything wrong with b/feeding or cuddling your baby.

[StealthPolarBear]

How old is he? There was a point at which I did this with DS and before this I hated it, and it didn't work. The point I suppose was when he understood "I am here to go to sleep" as opposed to "Where are you? Why aren't you coming?"

[thisisyesterday]

oh and by effective what they mean is it stops your baby bothering to call for you, because they know you won't bother going to them.

but hey, if that's what you want

[ellideb]

I'm following the advice of 'Healthy sleep habits, happy child' by marc weissbluth.

[NorktasticNinja]

I've not done CC but I though it involved going in every few minutes to ssshhh them?

Just leaving him is CIO, and I don't think that's recommended even for babies over 1.

[LoveMyGirls]

She hasn't said hes under 1 has she?

She asked for our support.

[ellideb]

I agree with you lovemygirls its just so hard isn't it.

[bronze]

I thoguht the way I did it was hard which was to go in for exactly four minutes, lay them down not look at them give them bunny etc and then go out for exactly four minutes. It took less than a week and felt pretty cruel but I was desperate (8.5 mths pg) I can't imagine leaving them for 25 mins +

[malovitt]

He's five months old, according too OP's profile

[LoveMyGirls]

How old is he? What have you got that he associates with sleep? Talk me though your bedtime routine with him?

Have you brought a light show or could you put a radio on in the back ground? Some children like to hear some noise as it reassures them.

[NorktasticNinja]

Dittany's link

[thisisyesterday]

i hate to say this but your baby will not "find it easier"
he's a BABY. he has no idea why you aren't going to him. all he knows is that he's upset and he's calling for his mummy and his mummy isn't coming

you can teach a child not to bother letting you know when they are upset. that does not equate to them being either happier, or finding it easier.

[ellideb]

I am popping in every few minutes, i'm not totally heartless but it is a tried and tested method and it's to teach him to self settle. He is 5mths old.