DD desperately needs to sleep, should I let her?

[pavlovthecat]

DD (2.5yo) is desperately tired. She has been under the weather this week, including stupidly high fever on friday and although is better has a cough and is not sleeping in a routine. She has been waking lots in the day, and consequently is very tired in the day. We have tried to get her to take an early nap so as not to effect her night time sleeping but its just not working and she has been wanting to nap at around 3pm.

Unfortunately, we are all a bit poorly and yesterday we went for a lovely afternoon nap, DD, DH and I and did not wake until 5pm . DD did not go to sleep until almost midnight, and only then with me in our bed. But then she woke at 6:30am, after waking about 3 times.

Today, she has been tired all day but refused to nap, and now she is so so desperately tired. I have put Curious George on and she fell asleep. So I woke her gently and said we would have snuggles instead of sleep. But she threw the biggest tantrum ever, still looks unwell, cough is not good. And after crying for 10 mins has just passed out on the sofa.

Should I wake her? Or just let her sleep? She will not sleep tonight if I let her sleep. How do I break this cycle?

[DragonLowFatSpread]

if she goes to bed, maybe she'll sleep right through?

[pavlovthecat]

Not a chance! But, it might be worth a try, as she is just flaked on her front, mouth open. I bet if I banged pots and pans she would not wake right now. She has never gone to bed this time before and slept through...

You think I should try it?

[mumonthenet]

I think you should let her sleep. Her body needs it.

You can get her back into her routine when she's better.

[MegBusset]

I had this dilemma with DS a few weeks ago when he was poorly. He was falling asleep in my arms at 5.30 so I just put him in the cot.

He did stir a few times in the night but didn't actually need getting up, he woke properly about 5am the next day and after that we got back on track.

I think when they're ill you just have to let them sleep when they need to...

[pavlovthecat]

I think dragon and Meg, I might just put her to bed. And Mumonthenet, I agree she needs to sleep.

I have never considered actually putting her down to bed for the night when she is like this. She was asking for milk. I am going to wake her gently, get her ready for bed, and settle her down for a sleep, quickly before she has long enough to constitute a power nap...

Poor love. She has only just got over jet lag!

[Nellycake]

I agree Meg, better to let her sleep if she's not well. My lo is the same when she's poorly - just wants to sleep all the time. The waking up last night might have just been down to the illness rather than you all having a nap yesterday afternoon.

[paddingtonbore]

my rather run-down 22mo DD has just flaked out on the sofa too - I'm sure we'll both be seeing 5am, but what can you do?

[pavlovthecat]

Nelly - she was rather grumpy when she woke from the nap. Although within half hour she was in a fine mood, and was so until she went to sleep at midnight!

Right, she is changed into her nappy and jimjams, has milk, given some calpol, and is in her bed, asleep. I read her a brief story to give the illusion of bedtime routine, so lets hope she thinks this is it, bed time. I am fine with her getting up at 5:30am. I will get an early night too, and then it is only an hour earlier than my normal time to get up for work anyway. If she wakes up before, or just has a nap, we will deal with it, although DH is going to be annoyed when he gets home as he thinks we should keep her up. It is just not possible. There is no way she was staying awake so lets see if an actual early bedtime will work better than a nap.

Fingers crossed eh?

[DragonLowFatSpread]

good luck.

i've got one boy with chicken pox and one with diarrhoea here. so rubbish.

[pavlovthecat]

Oh Dragon you poor thing! Your poor boys! Are you poorly or have you managed to avoid it so far?

[Nellycake]

Good luck pavlov!

[DragonLowFatSpread]

oh i'm fine, no 'bubbly pooh' from me.
thanks for asking

[pavlovthecat]

and and at bubbly pooh!!!!

[DragonLowFatSpread]

not my words, his.

[pavlovthecat]

I guessed that, sounds just like little boy speak

[pavlovthecat]

Well, she is still asleep , so do I go in and check on her? She had a full bottle of milk, I do not know if she has drunk it all as I had not been brave enough to go in and see. She has missed her tea, and means she is likely to wake up for more milk/hungry. Do I sneak in and top up her milk so when she picks up her bottle absent mindedly she will find it full, or just wait and see if she wakes/when she wakes and deal with her there.

DH was quite annoyed when he came in but I was on the phone to his BIL and then he was on phone to BIL so did not know what had gone on, and he was not contactable on mobile (battery died) so ask what he wanted to do. Then, when I explained to him a few mins ago what happened, and that I had consulted the 'oracle' and the verdict and reason, he has come around. Firstly he said 'bloody MN' and then after saying what was said 'well, that does make sense actually, it might work, they are right that she should sleep when she needs to' .

[mumonthenet]

hope you get a full night's sleep pavlov.

Your poor dh...having us on mn organsing his life for him

[pavlovthecat]

Thanks mumonthenet - she is still asleep! She woke coughing quite badly, so naughtily I topped her milk up at the same time, and then about an hour ago, she cried once, but nothing since...so that has been, what, 5 hours? Thats either a long nap, or she will be sleeping until 4:30am. I cant see her sleeping longer than that, but its as good as I can hope for...

DH loves it and hates it, having mn being involved, it annoys him I often say, Oh lets just see what they say on MN, like we cant make our own decisions. Then, sometimes, he says...'i have tried to find x info, am stuck, can you ask MN if anyone knows'

[pavlovthecat]

Well, that worked. NOT! She woke at 1:45am. Wide awake. And she stayed awake until 6am, when she went to sleep until 10am. DH is furious, we had an almighty row last night, its all my fault (cos apportioning blame helps), and clearly I do what the f I like (cos he was not able to get her up when he came home?).

Anyway, I have a bug anyway, got about 2 hours sleep before DD got up, then attempted to doze unsuccessfuly when DH got up with her, but as he was so furious I could feel his anger from the other room, so did not sleep.(as I did not go to bed early afterall, had stuff to sort out for work, another story). I then dozed on a very uncomfortable sofa on and off for four hours stressing about being ill and lack of sleep. And consequently feel like absolute horrible shite today. So I have taken the day off work much to the annoyance of my boss.

DD is awake, DH is asleep, and he has been since 4am. Alright for some eh?

But, maybe she will be able to sleep better tonight, as she will have no nap today. She should be in nursery but not currently. I will get her dressed and take her in for the afternoon session, get her running about a bit.

[paddingtonbore]

oh, Pavlov, sorry to hear you had such a tough night.

I think your DH is being a little harsh too. I can see that sometimes you might not want to let a well child nap too late, but it's not really fair to wake a poorly one. She'll get her routine back when she's better, I'm sure.

(I was up at 5.30 with my poorly DD, who went to bed at 5.15pm yesterday, so a fell a tiny bit of your pain)

[paddingtonbore]

(I feel you pain, even )

[robinia]

I think she did very well for a poorly one - 4.30 to 1.45 = over 9 hours and then another 4 hours this morning. OK - the timing wasn't great but she has been ill and your dh is being unreasonable.

She is also getting to the age when she may drop her daytime nap. My ds (3 and a bit) doesn't nap every day and when he does it's between 3 or 4pm up to 5 or 6pm. It doesn't affect his bedtime as he has a very fixed routine which seems to work well for us (keeps fingers crossed that it doesn't go pear-shaped )

[pavlovthecat]

robinia - she has dropped her daytime nap! If she naps at all in the day she won't sleep until really really late. This has been the case since just before christmas, and the only reason she has been napping in the last week is because she is unwell .

She is all over the place. Poor thing. We have agreed that if she needs a nap in the day for the next couple days while getting over her illness she can, and will just forfeit our evenings, thats ok with me, and now, funnily enough, its ok with DH! He did apologise to me today for getting angry, said he knows it was not fair.

We have put DD into nursery for a couple of hours, think, seeing as we are all feeling rough and she seems much better, it will do us all good and get her out doing something. She usually does 8am ish to 5:30pm (as usually we all work), but today she went in at 1am and we will get her at 5pm.

Hopefully her routine will be ok this evening.

[pavlovthecat]

OMG what has happened to our gorgeous happy well behaved child !

She went to nursery fine, was fine at nursery according to them, fell asleep in the car on the way home, has been an absolute nightmare since she got in, and will not go to sleep.

These are the things she is saying
I am hungry - but spits out her food
I am not tired - while clearly she is
I want my mummy - mummy been in to see her
I want my daddy - when mummy goes back in
I want another story - no not that story.

We have read her one final story, said good night that is it now. And where the usual baby girl would roll over and ask for her bottom to be tapped, this little girl is yelling and blowing raspberries.

She is currently in her bedroom kicking on her door, crying. And then she opens it, I say 'back to bed' cue lots of crying, saying she is hungry

I have a fucking sinking headache whicb paramol has not seemed to have touched.

[mumonthenet]

oh dear.

(can't think of anything else to say)







except hope you have a better night tonight.