HELP URGENTLY...Drastic sleep changes in a 3.6yr old...

[Shhhh]

Please can someone give us some help and advice.

Dd 3.6yrs has always been a brilliant sleeper (without us trying) she would sleep well from weeks old and once night feeds stopped she would sleep easily 7pm-7/8/9am.

These days she sleeps 7pm-7ish am

Nothing has changed in the last few weeks afaik (although I did remove her dummy from nighttimes 2 weeks ago, no issues,she was pleased etc..)

BUT Tuesday of last week she woke around 10pm ish, very upset, uncontrollable,didn't seem responsive iykiwm and wouldn't talk.
I settled her only to be back in at 11pm with the same again..BUT I had a feeling she was still asleep. So settled and comforted her again. She was the same again 10 mins later this time vomiting.
Dh is away week days atm so I put her into bed with me as I was worried about her vomiting in her sleep etc.
She slept fine.

Wed night (next night) she was shocking. Woke at 4am hysterical. Wouldn't settle, SCREAMING,so after a 45 min battle (inc me nearly strangling her ) I put her into our bed.

The same again thurs night and after anther battle dh put her into bed with us (thing is ds is a v bad sleeper..so we are v tired and worry she will then wake him)

Same fri night but sat night although she woke x3 we could reason with her, not let her get into a state etc..BUT the 4th time she was hysterical again and dh reasoned with her to have a dummy.

Now tonight..............WE HAVE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WHEN PUTTING HER TO BED............Tonight we did .

She has been upstairs since 7pm and is unmanagable.
She has said over the last few days she doesn't like her room, wants it painting,doesn't like the fan in there (had it since birth and moans if its off..) says it keeps moving .

So, i refuse to redecorate her room BUT we both settled on family pictures on the back of her door for her to look at and dh has just rearranged the furniture..

She won't let us out of the room without a battle......

HELP me please...dh is back to work tomorrow and I find it hard coping with him BUT even harder when she is like this and he is away. The lack of sleep is finally taking its toll...

What do we do, what can we do...?

[bananapaddlepop]

Oh shhh, this is my exact dilemma with my 2.5 yr DD. We used to do stories then say night night and that was it until 6am or so. I don't know what to do about it so I shall watch this thread with interest. She has settled on her own since three weeks and now at 2.5 decides not to. I don't get it.

[missmapp]

Poor you, sounds horrible.
My ds1 ( 3.10) has started being really tricky to settle, gettin all his toys out etc and as with you this came from nowhere. We thought it may have been post christmas where he had a few later nights, sounds like your dd may be unsettled due to her dummy, but would not explain such extreme behaviour.
It sounds a bit like night terrors, where they dont really wake but have a sort of 'awake' nightmare( not really explaining it well) , a friends ds suffered from those, but i cant remember how she sorted it, maybe a visit to your hv or gp? Sorry ive not been much help, sure someone will be along with much better advice soon, but you have my sympathy!

[Shhhh]

thanks you two...

I thought night terrors and on tue when she woke crying (before being sick) I asked if she'd had a bad dream. She had calmed down BUT once I asked this she was hysterical again.
I have tried to find out what she dreamt BUT she won't say. I asked if it inc daddy and mummy and her brother and she became hysterical again and said yes although wouldn't discuss it further..

I calmed her and told her dreams were stories that her head makes p when she is asleep and that they are not real. Also told her mummy and daddy have them and sometimes they make us cry BUT not to worry about them. They are not real iykiwm...

See I thought the dummy BUT she really wasn't bothered about it. I thought she would go mad BUT shocked me by being so confident and "grown" up. Telling her pre school leader what she had done and my mum...
kept saying how good she was..a big girl.

BUT I can't explain this. She is wanting to sleep in our bed which till last week we had never done and never needed to. Even at times when ill in the past she was never one to get into bed with us although we did offer on occasions..NOW she settles when she knows she can get into our bed..or when she believes she can...

hope you two get sorted as well.... x

[mammaash]

Hi, I felt it necessary to send a message.
I am having a very similar problem with my daughter.
She also gave her dummy up for christmas, without much hassle (we were expecting some), she seemed to take it all in her stride. However, over chrismtas she started having night terrors, waking up screaming, crying, sweating and last night, gagging as if she was going to be sick, her stomach was churning.
Usually she can be coaxed back to sleep after 10 minutes she is fine. Last night was the worst she has had and eventually woke up and cried and sobbed inconsolably for hours.
I eventually got into bed with her until she fell back to sleep but it took hours. From 9pm until 12.
She has always been so easy to go to bed, no arguments and has actually enjoyed bedtime.
I looked on google at different forums hoping for information and most of them say that night terrors are common in 3 year old until about 12, but eventually they grow out of them. I have found that to be helpful, however after last nights episode it has little comfort.
I have tried to get information out of her why she might be having these terrors, but she doesn't remember them and is still the same easy going, confident little girl through the day.
Could it be the dummies??

[Shhhh]

mm,read your reply yesterday but forgot to reply . Sorry.v rude of me...

Thanks for the reply, hmm..dummies...Maybe a good pointer although that said even when dh gave in and gave it to her on sat or sun night she still woke the following night iykwim...

Well we moved her room about and that had little effect, last night it took her 1 hour of reading to herslef before I went up and she went to sleep without much problem. Still anted her room light on which is not so bad as on a dimmer..

BUT last night she still woke...

So todays solution........she has a blackout blind up and today while she has been a preschool I have taken it town (needed the velcro sorting anyway) so its lighter in there..thinking that may help..

who knows!

I will report back...

Failing that..my 2 other solutions..

1.The room will be put back to pre "issues" and she will be given her dummy back (this was the case on sun and still she went mad...BUT dh still wants it to be tried..)

1. I have spoken to my HV this morning about dd and ds (he is also a prob sleeper..) and someone who can help will be out to me soon...

Thing is what makes me sad and feel low and a bad mummy is that I shout at dd when she is up in the night.. I know I shouldn't and I hate myself when I do it BUT I can't help it. Its the fear and worry of being kept in her room for an hour or so (till she calms and lets me out) and I so want to sleep....
DH has pulled me up about this today and its made me feel worse. I just can't reason with her and honestly can feel rage iykwim..

See, dh atm is working away so for him 3 nights are spent in a hotel which imo allows him a break and if I had that goal (3 days at home 3 days in a hotel) im sure I would be uber calm if woken at 3am...
Like you other mums going through this there is no release...

Hope it improves for you all. xx

[mammaash]

Please don't be too hard on yourself. I have also done this on many occasions, especially through the dreaded teething stages.

My daughter had another terror on tuesday night and I took her out of her bedroom and put her on the toilet (really for change of rooms), this had been recommended, and it seemed to ease it slightly. Last night she didn't have one.

We'll just have to wait and see if the situation changes. I am very reluctant to give in and give her her dummies back, especially as she doesn't seem at all phased by everything. No recollection of anything, therefore nothing to be upset about the next day. Lets just hope its a short term thing and once the dummies are a distance memory so will the night terrors.

I'll keep in touch with updates.

[Shhhh]

Well after dh gave dd a dummy (sat night I think) I thought she wouldn't give it up again BUT I can proudly say that I have not given it back to her since and she hasn't asked...result one..

AND yesterday she said to me "mummy, Im going to be a good girl and sleep tonight"..last last she slept from 7pm-6.30am (a litle early for me by about 30 mins - an hour..) BUT SHE SLEPT! She was also v good in entertaining herself reading (she loves doing this on a morning) and also got herself dressed .

Result two....

Tonight she has said the same, its been a preschool day and at 3.30pm when I collected her she fell asleep in the car..so tonight she has gone down without any problem..will see how she sleeps..

hows things mm..?

dh is back tomorrow night after being away all week, just hope that his arrival doesn't bring everything crashing down iykiwm...

[Shhhh]

bumping for more advice..

after a a night or two of sleep its still not good.

She is still sleeping with her lamp on and last night was awake for a huge portion of it...