Settling a baby to sleep - am I creating a rod for my own back???

[Minicooper]

My 5mo dd has never napped well during the day, but generally sleeps (reasonably!) well at night. The bedtime routine works beautifully - bath, feed, swaddle, cuddle, bed. She normally falls asleep within about 2 mins of me swaddling her, then I hold her for a couple more mins, then put her down. She often opens her eyes just as she hits the mattress, checks where she is, then is straight back to sleep. I do this (minus bath of course!) for daytime naps, bedtime and after night time feeds. Its quick, its easy and it works! BUT I keep reading that I should put her down awake and she should settle herself. The problem is, she doesn't - it can take hours. I end up giving up and settling her, otherwise DH and I would never catch up - or eat! Do I need to toughen up and persevere or do I stay on easy street? Tell me your stories, please!

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I would carry on with what you are doing.

If it aint broke, don't fix it.

[foxythesnowfox]

Keep doing what you are doing.

Pretty soon something will come along and stuff it up (jabs, cold, teething) and you'll have to re-think anyway.

You're happy, she's happy. Sod what the books say.

[zulubump]

Yes, don't worry. My dd would never settle herself to sleep and would cry pitifully for ages on the odd occasions I tried to get her to. But she is now 7 months and out of the blue she has just started to do this. I wasn't even really trying to get her to settle herself, she just seemed happy playing in her cot one evening, then it all went quiet and when I looked she was asleep!!! She often does it now and I'm glad it's happened at a pace she is comfortable with rather than me forcing it along by leaving her crying for ages.

I guess it happens at different ages for different babies. I wish I hadn't stressed about it. I do regret the times I did leave her crying to see if she would settle herself and I don't regret all the time I spent cuddling, rocking and feeding her to sleep.

[Minicooper]

Thanks for the encouragement! Zulubump, thats encouraging that your LO started to settle by herself - I've tried leaving mine to settle, but like you, often regret it - esp the time when she cried herself sick I wasn't even doing cc - just left her for 5 mins to see if she would go to sleep by herself - I went in as soon as she was crying hard, but too late, she was in a state and was not to be placated!

Foxy - good point re teething etc - at least this way I can get her to sleep!

[Minicooper]

Any stories from evening MNers?

[aquababe]

sod the books!

if it's working it's working.
I think we all stress too much about such things I know I did looking back (dd2.6)

enjoy the cuddles while they let you

[Habbibu]

God yes - sounds lovely. If I could change one thing about dd's early months it's all that bloody stressing about having to put them down awake. When she's older, and can begin to understand what's going on a bit more, then you can gently start a bit of (say) gradual withdrawal, but that can come much later!

[sweetkitty]

I had the exact same thread a few years back with DD1, she would only cuddle or feed to sleep and slept in our bed. I was fed up getting told oh she will be in your bed at 5 etc etc

and do you know what she went into her own bed and own room at 15 months no problem and is a great sleeper now. I will treasure those first months snuggled up to her wee warm body.

[HensMum]

I rocked my baby to sleep (and fed him to sleep when I still breastfed) until he was about 5 months old. Then I decided to stop doing it as it was nearly breaking my back! Plus I was worried about forming bad habits.
Now at 6 and a half months, he settles himself to sleep....most of the time! It wasn't that much work getting him to do it either. I think that trying to do it before then would have resulted in much crying. By that time, he understood that he had naps in his cot and we'd established good routines for naps and bedtime. He will still be rocked to sleep once in a while if he just won't settle but my niece, whose parents took a tough line early on, will not be. If she won't settle herself, she won't settle.
IMHO, if she's sleeping well at night then it's not too much of an issue how she gets to sleep - I think it only becomes a problem if they need rocking, feeding etc all the time and wake up several times a night and need you to get them back to sleep. If she can re-settle herself at night, then I woudn't worry. Tackle it when you both feel ready.