Co-Sleeping: Getting my 6-month old to sleep before coming to bed with us later

[MotherJones]

Hi everyone. I haven't used this before...hope some of you have some ideas.

DH and I are AP parents: we love it, DS loves it and we are all very happy and healthy and everyone I meet comments on how well rested we all look and how happy and alert DS is.

We co-sleep with DS and have done so since he was first home from the hospital (out of necessity at the beginning and now completely out of choice). He's been a very, very good sleeper - from about 5 weeks - through the night when we take hime to bed (around 12:00 or 1:00am) and up until about 2 weeks ago was sleeping alone in his cot from around 8:00pm or 9:30pm, depending on how tired he is, until we take him to bed with us.

Recently, we can't get him to sleep in his cot longer than about 20 minutes and then we need to hold him until we get to bed. I have tried the Baby Whisperer idea of comforting and continually putting him back down, as well as rocking and singing, but now as soon as he is back in his cot he gets very upset. Usually my husband is very happy to hold/wear him until DS is happy to be put back down, but DH is very busy working extra hours at home right now and it means that I am holding/wearing DS most of the day and evening, which I love and cherish, but I need a break!

Any advice?

[Mij]

Can I just ask if anything else changed around the time he stopped being happy in his cot? Teething? Holidays? Anything else?

Have you tried putting him down in your bed (obviously paying very close attention to safety, before anyone jumps on my head!) rather than his cot?

Only asking cos DD (now 21 months, still co-sleeping but nowhere near as good as your DS, has never slept through) changed her sleep pattern at around 6 months (teething, Christmas, visitors etc etc not helping) and we ditched the crib altogether and just started putting her down in our bed, making sure all bedding etc in a safe configuration.

[MotherJones]

Yeah, he could definitely be teething (although no red cheeks or little white stubs poking out yet) and we came back from a week in North America last week. He definitely had jet lag for the first couple of days, but seemed back on his own little sleep/wake rhythm...

How have you worked out getting some you time in the evenings? I'll try him in our bed tonight and see how he does.

thanks

[cheesesarnie]

we just used to lay on the bed with ds reading until he drifted off.he had his little cuddly so he felt he wasnt alone.

[MotherJones]

Must add that DS night nurses once or twice during the night but never 'wakes up', i.e. no crying, open eyes, etc and doesn't really wake us up (certainly not DH!). I consider this through the night sleep, but the baby trainers probably wouldn't !

[cheesesarnie]

the baby trainers obviously arent getting enough sleep then!
have you read 3 in a bed by deborah jackson?we read a few sleep books and took bits of each but that one is aimed at cosleepers.

[MotherJones]

!!!

No I haven't. I'll check it out. I am glad to have a recommendation of something aimed at co-sleepers that isn't just talking about how (ludicrously) unsafe it is!

[cheesesarnie]

its a really good book.usually lots on ebay,not sure about amazon.maybe even order in from library

[Mij]

I'm liking your definition of sleeping through!

Ditto 3 in a bed recommendation, also the Sears' sleep book, and Elizabeth Pantley's no-cry sleep solution (our library service had both of those).

It could just be that the teeth and holiday have thrown him. Habits are relatively easily made and broken at this age.

What time do you all get up in the morning? I only ask cos 8.30 or 9 seems like quite late for a baby to take his first big sleep of the night, but if you're sleeping 'til 8 or so in the morning he's probably fine.

Does he feed when he wakes upset in his cot? If he is, do you think he's growth spurting?

DD started falling into a pattern of taking a long evening nap in a moses basket in whatever room we were in, at about 4 months. She'd then sleep 'til we took her to bed at around 11, and sometimes beyond our bedtime. Whenever she woke she'd then come in with us. So she 'gave' us our me-time spontaneously. When we realised she was doing this regularly, we started to put her down in her bedside crib. That worked until aforementioned 6-month mayhem, when she started to refuse to let me leave her at all (even had my supper in the bedroom a couple of times). I started to feed her to sleep lying in our bed, and over the period of about two weeks I was finally able to do that then de-latch and go downstairs.

It worked well, but I've only just (at 21 months) managed to stop feeding her to sleep. But then it only started to be a problem for us in the last couple of months. I'm just saying that as a 'choose the methods that work for you making sure you know the consequences, or at least are prepared for the changes you may need to make a year down the line' kind of thing!

[cheesesarnie]

oh yes no cry sleep solution-another fantastic one!i think thats actually the one i prefered.

[Mij]

How are things going, MotherJones?

[MotherJones]

Got both books and have been trying to squeeze in a read every moment I can. I really like the no-cry sleep solution so far. Trying to monitor DS's nap and sleep patterns - he is definitely not getting enough sleep during the day...I think. We're very happy to have him 'sleep through' the way he has been, but still desparate to get him to sleep in the evening...he so clearly needs it but just doesn't know how.

Things have been a bit more 'normal' the last few nights but tonight, again, DS is wide awake despite our trying everything to get him to sleep. Can't remember if I asked this already, but could his starting solids be causing his rhythms to shift? (was EBF for six months and 2 weeks)

[Mij]

Hi MJ

Yes, solids do upset some little ones. It's a bit of a myth that they help sleep - it does seem to help some babes, but others it throws completely - new sensations, digesting, change in bowel movements etc.

Also learning a new skill. I'd forgotten this until I started thinking about this thread, but learning to crawl sent DD bonkers - at just gone 6 months she felt compelled to practise in the middle of the night, just as she did with sitting up, standing etc etc. She also seemed to have a little 'learning zone' at just before bedtime. That was when she first belly-crawled backwards, then forwards, and when she took her first steps. And the accomplishment seemed to fizz her up too much to sleep.

The thing you do have to know about the N-CSSolution is that it isn't a quick fix, but I suspect you've discovered that by now!