ideas needed about how to encourage 16 week old to sleep in a cot

[kauto]

I've posted before about how my ds will only sleep on mine or my dh chest. At the moment he starts the night sleeping on dh and then transfers to me, sometimes sleeping on my chest or co-sleeping with me. we would like to start a simple routine where ideally he starts the night in either his cot or amby hammock but the last time we tried he became more and more upset. He is a baby who likes lots of physical contact and likes to be carried all the time and so is often carried in a sling during the day. He has recently started to sit in his bouncy chair for short periods of time during the day so we are worried that any changes we make to his night routine will make him more "clingy" again. How do we help him to learn different ways of getting to sleep?

[BITCAT]

Does he or will he sleep in cot during the day? He may just like the comfort, have you tried a dummy,(i know not ideal) Try to put him in his cot during the day for a sleep, or just let him kick his feet. Is he bottle or bf?

[kauto]

Bitcat- no he won't sleep in his cot during the day either, he sleeps on me or when he is in his sling or when I take him out in the pram(but only when it is moving). We have tried a dummy which he used to take but now he spits them straight out. He is mixed fed, we are using a suplementary feeding system as he has always had problems latching on for any length of time. We are currently reducing the amount of formula he has. I will try putting him in his cot during the day so that he gets used to it.

[BITCAT]

yes that was my thinking! I would also try to cut out some of the time he has in the sling too! Try getting a mat and allowing him to kick around on the floor with a gym or something too, just to get him used to not always being on you or dh and being on his own and it wont hurt to let him cry for 5/6 mins, really trust me! I hope it resolves for you soon, cant be comfortable for you or dh.

[kauto]

He is starting to spend short periods of time in his chair or on his activity mat. It has been good to be able to eat without one of us having to hold him at the same time. It is not too bad at the moment as he is small for his age but this is why we want him to spend at least some time in his cot as it won't be long before it is too uncomfortable.

[Wizzska]

Have you tried playing with him during the day when he is in his cot? I'm doing this with my 17 week old before teh transfer from moses basket to bigger cot. When he's in a good mood I put him in it to kick his legs and get used to being happy in it. If he hates being alone you could be nearby, hold his hand or kick his feet with him.

[K999]

Why dont you try transferring him to the cot when he is almost asleep.....if he cries, stay with him until he is calm, then leave. Leave him for a minute if he cries and then go back in, reassure him till he is ok, leave and repeat....I did this with dd2 and it worked well. Not everyone likes this method but it may be worth trying.

[kauto]

wizzska- we have just started trying this today, he lasted about 2 minutes before he started crying, but we will try again tomorrow

k999- we have tried putting in the cot when he is almost asleep and also when he is asleep, he wakes straight up and becomes more and more distressed and it takes ages to calm him down and he just clings to you.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I would carry on putting him in his chair so he learns that it is ok to be away from Mum for a while. How about putting the chair infront of the washing machine when it is on? It may keep him interested for a while longer.

Also, swaddling when putting him in his cot may help. This can make him feel more secure.

Whatever you do, don't give up and keep doing the same thing over and over. He will need a chance to adapt to changes you make.

Good luck xx

[Naetha]

My DS (12 weeks) is clingy and very rarely will go to sleep on his own. Once he is asleep though, he will happily sleep in his cot (he hated his moses basket). We used to have real problems transferring him - he would always wake up, but the way we've found to work is when you put him down on his back, be very very slow and gentle removing your hands - I take about a minute to gently put him down and it seems to work much better.

[weasle]

Hello Kauto, I have just come on here to ask similar question. My 15 week ds2 sleeps quite well in a sling / in my bed, but am trying to get him to sleep in cot / moses basket / anything really. Have had some limited success in the last 2 days - yesterday he had 2 naps in the cot. last night another story!

i am reading the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley and i think it is great for this sort of situation where baby has been sleeping on mum. well, i mean it reads well, whether it will sort the sleeping out remains to be seen!

my problem is like naetha, he wakes when putting him down. i don't know whether to wait until he is deeper asleep but all the books tell you to do it when they are sleepy, but he screams and i end up bf him again. then i do the 'pull out' thing (12 times just now!) again and repeat repeat... after an hour if no success i put him back in my bed. i am hoping it will get easier!

[Gemy]

I agree that popping him in during the day for a kick around is a good idea - also after you wake him and is in a good mood, attach a cot mobile to his cot and lay him in there. Just start with a minute or so with the mobile on, and you right there, then maybe a bit longer, then wonder off to put somne washing away or something but keep calling his name, and go like that til he thinks his cot is a nice cosy place to be and is fine without you being there. When you are at that stage, leave him there without the cot mobile going and see if he's quite happy just kicking and staring (or when the cot mobile needs winding again, just leave it to stop and see what happens) - once he's happy with that try a good swaddle and you are well on your way!
Good luck!

[Babyisaac]

Same problem here. Like Naetha, I also put my DS (12 weeks) very very slowly into his cot. In the night I sleep with a little comfort blanket and I put that next to him in his cot after night feeds. He does still stir but if I ignore a few whimpers he does finally settle, unless it's for food and then there's no chance!

For the 1st 2 months of his life, he wouldn't sleep ANYWHERE. Hated his Moses basket and would only sleep next to me in bed. However, we bought an Amby hammock a month ago and he LOVES LOVES LOVES it. At first, with a few pushes and staying with him he would eventually settle. In the past week I have found that when he shows signs of tiredness, he will go in his hammock and will lie in there for a good 10 minutes alone in the room and then when I go back in and check he has fallen off to sleep. I would go as far as to say that the hammock has changed our lives!!

[weasle]

sorry to hijack, but need to rant about this.

i have just been talking to mother in law about how i feel i have made some progress with the sleeping, but he now wakes every hour in cot, rather than a 4 hour stretch when co-sleeping. her response 'do you think he needs more food? how about a bottle of formula'.

great bf support! if formula fed babies don't sleep what is then the solution? The answer to every problem for a bf baby seeems to be a bottle!

sorry,rant over!

like the look of the hammock. how old does it go up to?

[Babyisaac]

Weasle, I know exactly what you mean!! Despite a lot of support with my choice to bf, my Mum still says "I think he's just hungry" when my DS won't settle. She has tried to coax me into giving him formula - think it's a generation thing. Annoys the hell out of me!! I have a nephew and a niece. Nephew is 3 and was bf and was the perfect sleeping baby. Niece is 8 months, is bf and hasn't slept through yet - what do you make of that?!!

The hammock goes up to 12 months. The weight limit is 29lbs, but you can get a heavy duty spring if your baby is heavier than that and this will take them up to 40lbs.