I feel like such a failure. Ds doesn't seem to sleep at all..ever! (long, sorry)

[spangly]

Hi
I have obviously done something hugely wrong and got my poor 21 week old ds into terrible sleeping habits because his sleeping just seems to be getting worse and worse.

He used to sleep for up to 3 1/2 hours at night and up to an hour and a half for naps but now barely sleeps at all. In the day he'll have 5-10min naps at most and won't be put down. He fights napping for ages and when he does go off wakes almost immediately and refuses to go back off. At night he goes to bed fine but wakes about 45 minutes later and every half hour after that. If I'm lucky I'll manage to get him to sleep for one and a half hour stretches through the night but he'll only do this in our bed and not in his cot. This has been going on for a few months now.

Today I'm more exhausted than I've ever been and really feel I can't go on like this. DH has had to stay hime from work as I've been in such a state. I've been in tears most of the day. I also have a toddler and it's not fair on her.

Ds is breastfed and has been feeding to sleep. We have no set routine for him so today I have tried to initiate one. It has been a disaster. DS has screamed all day. We've tried putting him down for naps when he first shows signs of tiredness. We've done shush/pat and pick up/put down and all they've done is make him furious. DH tried to get him to nap for 2 hours this morning to no avail. It eventually took us 7 hours to get him to take a nap and I ended up feeding him to sleep again out of sheer exhaustion. I know it's early days but surely setting a routine shouldn't be this hard. How long tdo you try to get a baby to nap before you decide it's best for both of you to give up?

What can I do next? Please help

[luckylady74]

what's he like in the pram for a walk, in the car? rather than putting him in his cot for set times can you take him for a walk at set times? have you had him checked for reflux?

[luckylady74]

by the way you've not done anything wrong - breastfeeding/ cosleeping / feeding to sleep - not sins!your little one just finds it hard to stay asleep.

[spangly]

Hi Luckylady74 - he used to be great in the buggy and car but now will wake as soon as the motion stops and takes he a while to get to sleep in these even. I do try to take him for a long walk on the days DD is at preschool and sometimes he'll go off but more often he won't. He just seems too interested in other things.
I hadn't thought about reflux. Are there any other signs that might indicate it?

[spangly]

He's been in his cot 15 minutes and is already awake again

[luckylady74]

all i know about reflux is a friend's dd was a good sleeper then started waking up and screaming 15 mins after going off and throughout the night - it was because the acid comes up when you lie down. i think it's quite commen.
have you tried walking and then leaving the pram outside - so the temperature doesn't change - i didn't abandon mine honest, but watched their face out of the window - they always woke when i came in.
allthings with babies are phases - what ever happens your ds won't be doing this in years to come.

[spangly]

Thanks. I know it's just a phase and I do keep telling myself things will get better. I just feel like I'm in a sleep deprived fog at the moment.
I'll look into reflux so thanks for that.

[mamazee]

Have you tried wearing him in a sling ?