Great new toddler trick - his not ours, sadly.... being sick at bedtime...

[cestlavie]

DD 26 months has been a great sleeper (sorry) for ages. Sit her down in her room, read her a few stories with milk, goodnight kiss, shut door and then she was out for the night. Occasionally she might cry a little, but would usually settle herself. Very occasionally, if she got stressed (cried for longer than a few mins) one of us would go in, give her a pat and she'd drop off. Perfect.

Til about 6 weeks ago.

Over the course of literally 2-3 nights, out of nowhere (honestly, we've racked our brains but nothing!) she starting crying as soon as mum or dad left the room. The only thing that would stop her was standing next to her cot AND if she heard you move before she was completely asleep she'd wake up instantly and cry. We've tried moving further and further away from cot to door to outside each evening (being pretty consistent) but if you get too near the door, she starts to cry.

And...

This is the clever bit, if you don't go back over to her she's sick. Not crying so hard she's sick. Just coughs/ gags etc. until she is - and when she is cue one or quite possibly both parents coming into room, getting her out the cot, getting changed, cleaning bed, room. Her? Chatting away, reading her books, playing with her toys til her bed's ready again. Get back in, repeat process. Doesn't mind being sick at all, gets some more milk. Back in bed, chatting etc.

So tell me, please, what the hell do you do? Please tell me someone else has had this.

You can't leave her to be sick, or once she's been sick, but we can't spend every night with her til she falls asleep for the rest of eternity - she's really got no better over the 6 weeks in terms of how fast she falls asleep or how far we can be from her. She's also, I fear, now doing it in the night when she wakes up and can't get to sleep immediately.

[ineedapoo]

A friends ds did this she gave him a bucket when he started to gag and then didn't have to change him

[cestlavie]

Thanks. Unfortunately she's kinda sick generally, i.e. bit over the bed, bit over herself, bit on the floor. I suspect if we gave her a bucket she'd just deliberately or accidentally miss it... useful advice though so will bear in mind... am thinking about bin bags on floor etc as it is...

[JennaJ]

This is a tough one for you. This will be a short post as am off to work soon (work as a maternity nanny and sleep trainer). One way to deal with this would be to break the routines your dd associates with bedtime..she obviously isn't liking bedtime at the moment.

Try 1)..bathtime and stories earlier then some gentle playtime, no story or story downstairs. Warn her that she is going to bed at 10mins
You could also try putting her the oposite way up in the cot.
2) put her to bed say goodnight etc then Go out the room (even if she cries) then go back in one minute, lay her down without talking to her (really important not to faff, talk etc and repeat.. (yes this is tedious I know and could take 30mins..) just lengthen the time by 1 minute each time you leave the room.
3) If she is sick..don't make a fuss, have everything ready next to the bed. Don't talk to her or comfort her just change her calmly pref in dim light change the covers etc. Don't play or give anymore milk.

4) repeat step 2!

Your lo has learnt that by making herself sick she gets your full attention..you play with her, talk to her and give her more milk. She is getting exactly what she wants from you. You need to teach her that being sick won't get her what she wants.

She is old enough to accept praise in the morning when she has gone straight off to sleep!

Hope it works for you. Let us know how you get on.

Remember..it won't be easy but will be worth it!

Jenna

[cestlavie]

Thanks very much Jenna. That's really helpful. I'll try that and see how it goes.

[JennaJ]

Will check back cestlavie and see how you get on :-)

Jenna

[dabbsy]

Hi, I have had similar problems with my 29 month old girl. She has always slept well in her own room until just before Christmas, when she had a cold, then chicken pox and teething. Now she wakes around 12.30 and screams until we go in, then just wants to talk. If we then leave, she crys and talks to herself for what could be up to 4 or 5 hours, then finally drops back off again. I havent a clue why she wakes, have tried no blackout blind, teddies, heating up, heating down and making sure she is covered over, all of which she has never needed before. Any suggestions? thank you.

[beforesunrise]

ehhhrr my dd is 23 months old and a record bad sleeper. she's also recently got a potty and bingo now knows that if there's one get out of bed wild card is claiming to use the potty. once in a while she'll deliver a poo among great critical acclaim just to keep her claim credible. most nights though, she'll sit on the potty beaming with pride for having fooled us poor losers yet again.

sorry, of no hlep whatsover to you, but gee are they smart...

[Misdee]

cestlavie, my dd2 is an attention-puker. my tip is clean her up silently, clean cot silently, just dont give her any attention for being sick, just do it as quietly as you can and pop her back into bed, finished with a kiss and a goodnight sweetheart, and go. dont give her mroe milk, give her some water.

sounds mean, but does work. she is getting attention from being sick. its hard ignoring it, but it does work, honestly.

praise her in the mornings for sleeping well and not being sick.

[pulapula]

My DD 3.1 went through a "being sick" phase a few months back. She had been sick in the night, but then learnt that putting her fingers in her mouth could make her gag, and would do this at bedtime.

I would echo what others have said. We started being ready for it (bucket by the bed) and also she didn't get more milk, just water. She got praised for not being sick, no extra attention (we did think she was ill and therefore she got lots of sympathy til we realised she was sticking her fingers in her mouth) and after a week or two it stopped.

We also went through a lot of "I need a poo" before bed when she was 2- anything to get more attention before bed. She really likes her sleep though, but guess its nice to have a bit more play before bed sometimes!

[Feenie]

Put a towel on the bed for her to sleep on, then when she is sick you can whip it off quickly without having to change sheets, etc.

[Marne]

Dd1 did this from the age of 18 month - 3 years, i was told just to clean her up with no fuss and put her back to bed with no fuss. Sometimes this would be hard as she used to get in such a state she would strugle to breeth.
She seems to have grown out of it now (thank god)

Good luck

[Lilypie]

DD did this for a long time, at about 21 months old. She was going thru a clingy phase and threw up one time thru crying too hard at bedtime and realised that vomiting delayed bedtime and she got to leave the cot while I changed the sheets. So she started deliberately vomiting and eventually she was able to do it to order... it was quite impressive!

I was at the end of my teather when she suddenly just stopped doing it, we just stuck to her routine and it came to a natural end.

Good luck, I sypathise hugely!!