5 week old will only sleep in out arms, help needed

[kauto]

our ds is 5 weeks old. He has always been unsettled and suffers from bad colic, he alo has a tongue tie which makes breastfeeding difficult. He is having cranial osteopathy which does seem to help. He will happily sleep in our arms or on dh chest but as soon as you lower him into his moses basket he starts to cry. Very occasionally he will cry and then settle down to sleep, but usually he will cry and cry. Should we leave him to cry as some advise has suggested or pick him up and comfort him then put him back down again or just let him sleep on us? We don't want to be getting him into bad habits for later but it is really hard to hear him get so distressed. He is feeding much more tan usual at the moment- growth spurt? Any advice please?

[claricebeansmum]

This happened with both DC - we'd get them to sleep in our arms and then just as we were holding them above the cot whey would wake up and off we'd go again. It was very frustrating and very wearing.

One thing we did was to have co-sleeping so would have baby in arms, lower myself onto bed, lie down with my arms still around baby, gently get arms out. This whole process took about 20/30 mins...not sure how we did it but we did.

I think 5 weeks is too young for controlled crying. I think you can let him try to get himself back to sleep but if not pick him up and start again...he'll pick it up eventually or when he is a bit older you can do cc.

[foxythesnowman]

I'm sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I honestly don't think they develop bad habits at this age, so please don't worry (impossible, I know).

Personally, I find it harder to listen to a baby crying than I do letting the lo sleep on my. I don't think leaving him to cry at this age will do anymore than stress you, DH and DS out.

If you are happy to let him sleep on you, enjoy it. They don't stay this little for long. Good luck

[notacheesemaker]

can you sleep together? it probably won't last for that long, and a happy secure baby will be more likely to self settle in the end
i think
but it's a long time ago for me
i used to sleep alone with baby so big bear dh wasn't going to roll on top of same

[kauto]

have thought about co-sleeping but am worried will roll on top of ds

[ScarlettOHairy]

5 weeks is still teeny tiny. I certainly wouldn't let a baby cry at that age. Have you thought about getting a sling and doing the babywearing thing?

[Nooname]

Hi kauto,
You could be describing my ds and my solution was simply to co-sleep. He was in pain and unhappy and I would rather that he had me as his comfort to get him through that than that I tried to make him sleep alone when he couldn't/didn't want to.

Having a baby with colic is HARD WORK but I don't think there is any short-cut to it. In my ds' case it disappeared magically at 3 months and while it was hell up to then it did improve.

Just keep in your mind - he is in pain and he needs you for comfort. There is no law that says small babies have to sleep alone. I know it is hard work but it doesn't last forever.

[notacheesemaker]

i don't know, as a mum you're so very sensitive to everything
it worked for me but you can't ever drink or anything
i know it is a bit nervewracking

[Nooname]

Sorry - x-post.

I worried about co-sleeping too but did lots of research. Firstly, a mother will not roll onto their baby (so long as not drinking, smoking or obese) as they are so intuned with their baby.

Make sure there are no suffocation hazards - duvet (use sheet/blankets), pillows, falling down side of bed.

Co-sleep in bed and not on the sofa.

[ChubbyShcotsBurd]

Oh I feel for you but please don't let him cry, he's just feeling small and lonely and wants to sleep near you where he feels safe. It's tiring and frustrating but it's normal and it will pass.

Try using a wrap sling like a Moby or Kari-Me - then he gets cuddled while you have your hands free. Also try cosleeping ... and if poosible try breastfeeding lying down - takes practice but worth it. I hope you are getting support from your HV re the tongue tie - if it is making BF hard keep asking for help, it might be better dealt with than left. The last thing you need right now is feeding trouble.

Now my DS is a bit bigger I let him sleep on his side propped with cushions or a rolled towel, or on his front. I was unhappy doing this when he was tiny but you might find it helps him settle better - although safer I think some babies really dislike back sleeping.

Don't worry about bad habits - right now he doesn't remember what happened 2 minutes ago so you just do what makes you both happy. I was given the excellent advice that as you're measuring their age in weeks you don't need to worry about habits, just work on getting by how you need to.

Great excuse to lie on the sofa all day

[ScarlettOHairy]

I co-slept with dd from Day 1 and as a mother you are aware of your baby and won't roll onto them, anymore than you would fall out of bed. I don't believe that babies should sleep alone actually but that is my personal opinion.

The safest way is to have your bed against the wall, with the baby next to the wall (with no gap whatsoever) and then you between the baby and your dh. Why not try it and see if it works for you? Your ds is too young to get into "bad habits" he is simply acting on instinct. HTH

[foxythesnowman]

Another vote for co-sleeping. Our pillows are only half-way on the bed, and a bit lower down, so baby's head is higher up IYSWIM. She sleeps on top of the bedding.

Although most nights DH sleeps in the spare room anyway which solves that problem!

[Sidge]

Oh he's only brand new, don't let him cry!! He's not long been out of you

I often slept with my DDs on my chest, some sort of preservation thing kicks in and they never rolled off! Otherwise I put a hot water bottle into the Moses Basket/cot so it wasn't such a shock going from our warm arms onto a cold sheet.

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[ladytophamhatt]

TBH at 5 weeks I'd be crying if any of mine DIDN'T wantto be held all the time.

Just enjoy him, you can't make bad habits at this age...just enjoy the cuddles because this stage will be gone in a flash.

[ladytophamhatt]

and DEFFO don't leave him to cry.

[Habbibu]

Ignore any nonsense spouted about habits. You'll spend ages worrying about it pointlessly and not enjoying your newborn. Just cuddle him, give him security, and don't leave him to cry.

[kelbel]

no advice but just wanted to empathise!ds 3 weeks and exactly the same. just interested though - what is cranial oesteopathy for, whats involved and what's the benefits?