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19 month old's night wakings

5 replies

PiperG · 08/11/2007 14:56

Hello - I am new to Mumsnet (belatedly - have 19 month old daughter) and hoping someone can provide some words of wisdom on what to do re her night wakings. She has been waking in the night at different times for the last couple of months now - and being awake for anything from an hour to 2 hours. Sometimes she wakes at 11pm ish, sometimes at 1am, sometimes at 3am. There's not really any pattern ... I go in and pick her up and give her some water - she seems to get v thirsty - and then lie her down again and give her a stroke, but as soon as I leave the room she starts crying again. We go in and out doing a sort of controlled crying thing, waiting a few mins, then going in, then waiting a few mins more, etc, but it doesn't seem to work. Often after an hour and a half of this we give up and give her a bottle of milk which usually gets her off to sleep. Does anyone know what this might be? I don't think she's teething, and she's not been ill. Often she seems quite awake - grabbing my hand and chatting, and just doesn't want to go back to sleep. It's not every night, either - some nights she sleeps fine, from 7 till 6 ish. She has generally slept OK since about 10 months, though has always had bouts of waking at different times for whatever reason (god knows what). So I am hoping this is a phase that will pass, but just don't know what to do in those middle of the night 2 hour sessions when she won't go back to sleep ... She goes to bed at 7/7/30 every night (without problems), and has a nap in the day for anything from half an hour to an hour and a half. Any advice would be so welcome!

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mad4mybaby · 08/11/2007 19:17

Hi piperg. I had the same prob with my DS who is now 16months. Around this age it is common to wake at night as apparantly they are learning even more (!)

My personal opinion (forgive me if you dont agree) is that she is manipulating you. She goes off to sleep with the milk (my ds the same) and coz you just want to be asleep you give it to them. For me it was a case of being strict for a week or so and he finally got the picture.

We used a sort of PUPD method and it did work. If they arent ill or dirty there is no reason to stay with them. They want to be awake and with you!

Like i said we had to persevere and ignore it and he did finally get the picture. Im guessing she has a proper nightime routine? No tv etc before bed? As i know that stimulates my DS so have had to ban it after tea!

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mad4mybaby · 08/11/2007 19:17

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PiperG · 08/11/2007 19:28

Hello mad4mybaby: I had wondered if she is waking because so much is going on development-wise. She's sooo active in the day and saying new things all the time. She is certainly aware though when she wakes in the night that she wants us to stay with her till she goes to sleep again. Though I know she can settle herself (she does it at bedtime and sometimes in the night). What's the PUPD method? And yes she does have a good bedtime routine, bed by 7ish and no TV or anything. When she doesn't eat much supper though as is sometimes the case I worry that when she wakes in the night she's hungry. Hence the thinking behind the milk, sometimes ... though sometimes the milk doesn't work either, anyway. Arrggh!

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mad4mybaby · 08/11/2007 20:48

She sounds so alike my DS! Hes very active too. Also very advanced (not always a blessing ) He sometimes wakes up in the night and i hear him laughing and talking! Quite funny but not at 3am!

I would say its a phase... just like EVERYTHING!!

PUPD (pick up put down) i dont agree with the actual picking up bit! The method we followed was from top nanny. stroke baby for 30 secs, go out for 30secs, in for 30 secs, out for 30 secs etc and then build it up each day. Tiresome but it worked but then he was about 1 year so maybe not right for this age? Try www.sleepnannies.com, they can help via phone/email etc. Found her v helpful!

I agree with the hunger bit, my ds has tea at 5pm when hes finished let him get straight down and then i offer him a snack just before his bath (6.30pm) as then i know he wont be hungry. He eats little and often

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PiperG · 13/11/2007 15:40

We've been doing a kind of controlled crying thing and it seems to be helping for the time being, though it's so hard to know quite what to do cos her sleeping pattern never really stays the same! She's now sleeping OK during the night but waking very early, 5.30 ish, so now we have that to deal with ... so it seems to me that everything is just a phase and we just have to get through it!
good luck with your DS