Night time weaning for my stubborn 20 month old ds not working - help!

[Feenie]

Have not fed him at night for 2 weeks now, but he just will not give in. Decided to do it because he was still waking for milk each night, but at least then he would breastfeed and go straight back to sleep!

Now he wakes at 12.45, comes into our bed and moans a little bit, but largely accepts the deal and goes back to sleep. He then wakes at 4 and screams non-stop for a solid hour until I feed him at 5, having decided this would be an acceptable time to wake up (I wish).
The lack of sleep is kiling me - I am a full time primary teacher - and I don't know how long I can keep this up. He won't accept dh going in to him at all, which is how we got to this position. I really don't want to leave him in his cot to cry - anyone got any suggestions please?

[tibsy]

no suggestions i'm afraid, but BUMP!

[olivo]

no suggestions either i'm afraid but am watching carefully as my 12 mo dd is just the same! i'm a teacher too and i'm knackered. good luck!

[emkana]

I would say go back to breastfeeding him when he wakes up, he's obviously not ready.

I found with both my dd's that at 20 months they were still very keen on nighttime breastfeeds, but just a few months later it was possible to establish rules like "Not until it's daytime". It's just a case of waiting for their understanding to increase.

[choufleur]

not much help but it's good to know that othe dcs still wake. i worry that my 17month old still wakes the majority of nights for milk.

i am very strict though that he goes back to sleep in his cot.

would your ds take a bottle if you expressed so at least you can share with your dh?

[Feenie]

He would never take a bottle, hence I am feeding a 20 month old!!

The very night after I posted this, ds slept through until 6. Thereafter we've had 2 nights of sleeping until 5, then milk, then more sleep. Think we may have turned a corner - thank god, I was on my knees! Thanks everyone for your support, even just knowing others are in the same position helps.

Emkana - think you are right about the not ready to understand day/night, hope he gets it soon, or he'll think I'm just being mean if he wakes up in the night again.

Olivo - it's a nightmare, isn't it! I am not as snappy with the children as I would have thought I would be with so little sleep, which is good, 'cos it's not their fault (Year 2). Summer holidays are harder to come back from when you have little one, aren't they?

[chocbiscuits]

Hello,
similar difficulties with a 26 month old and a looong commute to work.

[mezzer]

In a similar boat, Feenie. My 20mo is still waking in the night to bf, sometimes more than once, and sometimes cries and cries and cries if I won't give in. She has gotten a bit better in the last couple of months. I'm hoping that time will fix things as all other tricks and attempts just don't seem to work with her.

Sorry, no real hints to fixing it... Hope it feels a bit better to know there is one more in your boat.