Advice needed - DS won't go to sleep without me by his side and he's starting childcare in Sept

[mamabear2b]

Hi - sorry it looks a bit long but bear with me!!

Ds (4 months) is due to go to childminder at start of September and I've got myself in a bit of a state worrying that I've got him into bad habits with sleeping which are going to cause problems in sept.

For his afternoon naps he'll only settle with me lying on the bed next to him, once asleep he'll wake briefly 2-3 times but if I'm next to him I can put my hand on his face and he goes back to sleep so nap time is about 2-3 hours.

I've tried to put him down in his cot and whilst it takes a while he will sleep but only for 1/2 hour and won't go back to sleep alone.

I'm worried that I've made him dependent on me for a comforter and that when he goes to c/m he won't sleep enough and will be horrid monster all day!!

Has anyone got any tips as to encouraging him to sleep alone for more than 1/2 hour?

[PrettyCandles]

You could always let the cm do it, and then you develop on what she's done. LOs will often eat/sleep/behave for others differently to how they will for mummy.

[loolop]

I've got the same problem Mamabear my DD is 5months and starting nursery at end of August - I rung the nursery about it the other day and they said they have had this loads of times and not to worry they will deal with it! Like prettycandles says I think (hope) they will behave differently when mummy not around. Am still dreading not being with her every day though!

[mamabear2b]

What a good idea, hadn't thought of that!

Suppose it's the 'PerfectMummy' syndrome rearing it's ugly head, I don't want him to be the nuisance child.

I'm feeling a bit emotional about him going to a new person and environment at 5 1/2 months and I want to make sure he is as happy as possible whilst I'm at uni for the 3 days. I just feel like I've set him up for a fall by co-sleeping at nap time (and at night, though that's only been the last 6 weeks or so) and don't want to make life unhappy for him

[mamabear2b]

loolop - Forgot to say good luck for the end of august, hope it goes well.

I know how you are feeling I'm going to have to make sure I've got plenty to do for the first week as it is a practice week and I'm not back at uni until the week after - I'm going to have to stock up on tissues I'm welling up just writing this!!

[Vmama]

oh my god mamabear you could be me! My DS is a lovely baby very happy and sleeps brilliantly at night but I have never managed to get him into a good nap routine. I blame myself for going out and about too much so his naps have often been at different times and in different places. Have been trying to get him used to napping in his cot and at the moment he's being particularly difficult. For a long time I used to walk around the nursery with him shushing and rocking him and then put him in his cot when he looked sleepy but now even that doesn't seem to work. Am freaking ot about how my mother-in-law and nursery will cope with him when I'm back at work. It doesn't help that MIL says she'll just let him sleep on the sofa with her and I really don't want that!

I go from panicking and sleepless nights to thinking sod it nursery will sort him out and then I can just build on what they're doing.

[Vmama]

am hoping this is just a phase??!!!!

[cockles]

I totally sympathise with you mamabear. But remember 4 months is really little and his sleep patterns will change loads even by Sept. I found naps were a killer at this age (actually up to 1) -he would only sleep 45 mins at a time for ages.
But don't worry about the childcare thing. Most childminders are very experienced at getting kids to nap, and most babies will do all sorts of things for other people (like they do with your partner if you have one) they won't do at home. Mine ended up having great naps at nursery from the 2nd day - I was astonished.

[mamabear2b]

Vmama - as if sleepless night due to feedng and crying wasn't enough mother nature programmes us to frett (sp?!) and worry durng the times when they do go to sleep!!

MIL's are fab aren't they?! I've given up tryng to explain why I would like things done a certain way - she just blinks alot and looks at me like I'm some sort of regime driven lunatic! The way I see it she adores him and want to spend time making him happy so I s'pose that's good enough for now (ha ha can't wait for the terrible 2's!)

Cockles - I can see my dear little so and so of a son doing the exact same thing, can almost imagine him giggling away when he goes to CM! We are going away for a week soon so I imagine a whole new routine will emerge