That old chestnut

[reikizen]

Really, how long should it take to do sleep training? I've been doing a sort of 'rapid return' ( which actually amounts to sitting with my 8 MO while she cries herself to sleep) for a week now. It takes between 30 mins and 1 hr 30 mins to get her to sleep. Any suggestions? We do bath, teeth, book, bottle and cot - then the screaming begins!
DD1 never did any of this nonsense! (Lots of other nonsense but not this)

[dueat44]

I did a 'sit with her and speak to her frequently' sort of sleep training with dd. Although it worked (previously she had been rocked to sleep, and would wake repeatedly until I rocked her again ... and again ... and again) there was a 'rump' of crying which never went away - about 10 mins worth.

She had a cold recently and I did not leave her to cry because she was miserable enough with a blocked nose and sore throat, so we were back to cuddling. Afterwards, we did sleep training again, but this time I did the more orthodox Ferber method, leaving the room between reassurances. It seems to have worked more thoroughly and more quickly.

[DaddyJ]

reikizen, how did she go to sleep before?

It can take quite a while, certainly more than a week.

[cruisemum1]

sounds awful for you. maybe you sitting there is upsetting her as she doesn't understand why you are not coming to her aid?? Could be better to do a leave and return type thing maybe. You needn't leave long gaps if you are not comfortable. Just a thought

[reikizen]

DaddyJ we used to keep her up with us until about 9.30 as she is so good & no hastle but we need an evening & she needs more sleep!
cruisemum1 - leaving & returning is my intention but she cries without gaps! I sit & rub her tum/leg whatever but tbh I think she just wants to play!

[DaddyJ]

So is her normal sleeping time 9:30
and you are trying to get her to sleep earlier?

If you are doing a kind of CC with parental presence, yes,
that will take much longer than 1 week but if the crying is
still btw 30-90 min this week then worth investigating further.

[reikizen]

I'm not doing cc on purpose, it's just that she cries the whole time but at different levels of intensity. She doesn't settle for me to leave the room at any point, she is just crying less/more quietly. Really, sitting with her only seems to be for our benefit as our presence has almost no effect on her calmness. If we pick her up to soothe her she just wants to sit up on our lap and wants to play! This is awful!

[DaddyJ]

Yes, I have experienced the same thing
with our our dd.

The fact that it goes on for more than 30 minutes is puzzling, though.

Could it be that she is simply not tired
when you are putting her down?

[MegBusset]

What time are you trying to put her to bed now? Was she fine with 9.30 bedtime? If so then maybe you could just bring it forward by 10 mins every night until it's where you want? (Apologies if you have already tried this... but seems less painful all round than trying to put her to bed when she is used to being up and about)

[reikizen]

I can't decide whether she is too tired to go to sleep or not tired enough! I think I may try the 10 mins earlier each night and see how that goes. I can't believe she isn't tired as she woke up from her nap at 2pm so you would think by 7pm she'd be shattered? I am!
Thanks for your patience

[DaddyJ]

Are you getting all the sleep cues,
the rubbing eyes/ears, yawning, being irritable?
At what time?

Sorry, am being a bit sloow here!

[youpeskykids]

And just a quick question - does she sleep in her cot during the day i.e is it the same place that she has her daytime naps? Just wondering, as she may not have associated her cot/room with bedtime? Apols if you've already tried this....

[reikizen]

No, she has been sleeping in her pram in the day as her cot was in my bedroom but I am going to start getting her to sleep in her cot in the day too as she has her own room.
She does rub her eyes but is never really irritable even when tired! (Except when in her cot at bedtime!)

[DaddyJ]

I don't know enough about your situation
to be sure but it sounds like she simply
is not tired enough when you have put her down at 7pm.

Adjusting her bedtime bit by bit seems the way forward
but will require lot of discipline and willpower.

Good luck!

[reikizen]

Oh no, my two weak points! Seriously, thanks for all your help, I feel better now I have a plan!

[cruisemum1]

if you conceived a child, carried it safely for 9 mnths, delivered it on one piece and have nurtured it thus far, discipline and willpower should be your middle names . Good luck!