right how do you do this controlled crying?

[munz]

i've had enough now of the tantrums at bed time. so how do you do CC? it's our last resort, which I didn't really want to do but after 6 weeks of screaming by DH rowing and arguemtns with DH enough is enough. so how do you do it?

[dustystar]

Have a look here

[munz]

thanks dusty have had a quick look will read it proeprly once he's down for the night, i've just had enough or all of it. some night's he'll settle some he won't. I seem to fail at hte first hurdle thou at pick him up

[dustystar]

It take a lot of self dsicipline. My sis and bil did this with their first and BIL was rubbish as he couldn't handle her crying and would go in and pick her up. In the end my sis had to wait until he was away for 3 nights and then started it herself. Within a few days she was going down better and not crying in the night.

Its not for everyone though so do your best but don't feel bad if its too much for you. It also doesn't suit all babies. Sis's 2nd baby didn't react well to cc at all and after a couple of awful weeks they gave up. they tried the baby whisperer's techniques instead and this workes well for her.

Good luck

[munz]

thanks, we've been trying the BW one - worked like a treat when he was younger, the whole PUPD. now he think's everythings a game - I tell him to lay down he gets up and grins.

we tried (when the inlaws were down) to do the shushuing and back rubbing etc. the laying in the room but he can take up to an hour and a hal to drift off - and tbh DH and I want our nights back iycwim.

DH seems to think J is worried we'll leave him when he goes to sleep?? clingy stage gone really wrong? - althou he's only like this of a night.

[dustystar]

How old is he?

[munz]

15.5 months

[dustystar]

I haven't used either technique as I was lucky that both of mine are good sleepers so i am only going on sis's experiences. I know that she and BIL bought one of the baby monitors that allows you to talk to the baby through the monitor as well as hear them in their room. When dn2 cries or moans they just press the button and do the shh shh thing that way. That usually settles her and they don't have to spend 1/2 the evening in her room. Even dn1 presses the button and says shh shh if she's up

[BernieBear]

I did this after 2 1/2 years of hell. Had tried PUPD, sitting with him and gradually moving to the door etc etc (usually took 2 hours). CC (and I HATED HATED HATED doing it) was the thing that worked.

Basically first night be prepared for a tough one! Follow usual routine and put to bed. Leave for 2 mins, go back in and reassure and leave. Leave for 4 mins - go back in and reassure. Leave for 6 mins and so on and so on. This is probably a version of it. I never let it go over 10 mins and sat outside the door (where he couldn't see me) usually crying to myself, rocking and trying to read a book. First night took about 45 mins, second night about 20 mins and third night 5 mins. Since then no probs at all.

I'm no professional but would say that every child is different and it is not suitable for all children. Hence the reason why I tried everything else first.

Hopes this helps. Oh yes, a glass of wine helps too. (for you, not dc!)

[munz]

BB - that sounds exactly like us - to the point of staning behind the door and shushuing him as well. at the minute as i've just said to mum/DH I really don't like him come bed time which is awful and I don't want this to go on any more- for me as much as him. but we're both as strong willed as each otehr if that makes sence? (althou I do tend to give in which is deffo not good). This really is the last resort now I think (well this or a sleep therapist person thingy)

dusty - our moniter does that as well, but tbh it makes him worse - don't ask me how but it does.

I think it's got something to do with his mobile being taken away but he broke the last one by trying to swing from it so i'm not keen on buying another one. we're currently up to 1 hour 10 mins. (not constant screaming but v loudly moaning. )

[BernieBear]

Oh munz - strong willed is the right phrase. He still is - just in other areas (currently toilet training!). and yes I used to hate bedtimes with a passion.

It is deffo worth doing but it is hard. However it sounds like you are at the stage I was at. I so desperately needed my evenings back and had tried everything else. The shusshing thing just wound him up even more. When I sat in his room I was not allowed to move a muscle or he would start crying. (mind you I got a lot of reading done during that time)

My feeling on it was that I had to do it right and to the letter as I would not do it again (as it probably wouldn't work again if I caved in).

I'll keep an eye on this thread over the next few nights if you need to share the time online! Believe me I have been there with bells on! Good luck x

[munz]

thanks BB it helps. I know that feeling well re the moving a muscle! lol. unfortuantly DH got that job (normally ended up with him falling asleep on the floor! lol.) I wouldn't mind so much if J was in his cot and awake but babbaling/content but it's the crying that gets to me. I think like you we're going to have to do it to the t. (or more to the point I think DH might have to and I might well need to make myself scarce for a few nights around bed time)

he's finally gone down for tonight didn't get him back out again so that's one plus we should be fine now till tomorrow night.

i'm hoping that any no 2 we have will be easier - if only from the point of view that I won't make the same mistakes! lol.