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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

No Naps without Dummy

12 replies

Elsie123 · 01/04/2007 13:04

Hello

My DS is 9mths old and has just recovered from a throat infection and thrush which meant he did not want his dummy. We have now decided not to give it back!

The nights seem to be ok - he has never been a great sleeper, but used to love going to bed. Now he cries for a bit when we put him down, and we have had to use a bit of CC, which I am very bad at, but luckily only for 20mins (a long 20mins!)or so

The problem is daytime naps. He simply won't settle. Before he was ill he would have a really good am nap - 2 - 2/1/2 hrs. He has alway been a little erratic in the afternoon, but I could cope. Now having just looked after him through his illness, which I now have, I am really finding this hard. I even find myself being angry with him, and I love him so much.

Now he just cries and cries until we get him up. I have tried sitting with him, CC, PUPD, everything, but he just keeps crying until he is got up. I am finding this really hard. He is also starting to get a bit grizzly, and looks at me like he hates me! What can I do???

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sandcastles · 01/04/2007 13:07

I have just had this with my dd. She dropped her naps when we left the dummy out for Santa, but she is 3.7 & can cope without them (just)

Tbh, due to his age, the fact he will still be needing his naps & the fact that you seemed to have tried everything, I would be incined to offer him his dummy for naps only.

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singingmum · 01/04/2007 13:09

have you tried some classical music I used it and my dcs slept well or try recording yourself singing a lullaby and play on repeat that works too

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dcb · 01/04/2007 20:59

elsie your ds sounds like my dd - same age. we've just decided to ditch the dummy completely as she slept so badly at night woith it. we did this at just at night when she was 6 mths along with cc and it worked - until she got a cold and then we just slipped back. have decided that even for daytime naps it had to go. started 4-5 days ago with the easiest nap of the day first - morning. did more singing and cuddling with her than usually do before i put her down. over 2-3 days we finally managed wqithout and just went cold turkey at night. nights are still bad - dreading tonight - but she now goes down during the day without and hasn't had it for 60 hrs! i just spend more time doing her pre-bed routine during the day than i used to and now she just has a 5 min whinge/ whimper and goes to sleep. haven't quite got the nerve to throw them all away yet but will soon....

of course now i've posted this it will all become a disaster during the day. just hoping nights will also settle like they did before. am starting to feel really resentful/angry at night and hate feeling like this.

good luck - i think you're doing th eright thing

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Elsie123 · 02/04/2007 11:04

Thanks for the tips. I think we are going to persevere without the dummy, as if it gets re-introduced for naps - it will be a slippery slope for me - can't bear the crying/whimpering - I always feel it is a bad reflection on me as a mother - does this sound familiar to anyone or am I just a little mad?

Anyway - we are a week and a half in now. Tried a nap again this am - but no go - just crying until got up. He is so good at settling himself usually that me in the room just seems to wind him up!

dcb - sounds like us but in reverse - touch wood I think the nights are getting easier - but still dreading days and getting frustrated.. same worries as you about jinxing things tho! Lets persevere and keep in touch!

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katewilson13 · 02/04/2007 14:15

I'm reading this thread with interest - as a keen user of a dummy for my DS. Why don't you want to give it back? Children seem to reject dummies if they are actually hungry and I'm not sure I see the harm in a child sucking a dummy as a soother until they fall asleep. It'll fall out anyway once they're sleeping. But I have probably misunderstood your post!

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dcb · 02/04/2007 19:54

i'm sure having a dummy made dd a worse "sleeper". if she woke during the night and the dummy had fallen out she wouldn't be able to settle herself 'til one of us had got up to put it back in. we tried everything possible to increase the chances of her replacing it herself once she was capable but she never did. I've nothing against dummies otherwise - she got a lot of comfort from them but they made our nights awful (and probably hers too...)

Dare i say it, last night was so much better. she woke briefly at 11.30 and 3.30 and settled heself v. quickly, waking up at 5.45 - a small miricle for us! however, as they say, one swallow doesn't make a summer.... she did go off to sleep quickly this evening though.

elsie - do you use a bedtime routine? i do the same day and night (minus the bath etc) i.e sleeping bag, songs, cuddles, sleepy monkey toy and blanket. i think this has really helped with her daytime naps

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dcb · 02/04/2007 19:55

sorry - miracle

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Plibble · 02/04/2007 20:07

Are you sure he needs a nap at that time/of that length? If he's crying until you get him up, maybe it is because he doesn't want to go to sleep.

My DD is the same age and often has about half an hour sometime between 9 and 10 and another 40 mins at lunchtime (with a 10 minute power nap later if she is really knackered).
If I tried to put her down and she wasn't tired enough I would expect her to howl until I got her up.

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becksmummy · 02/04/2007 20:10

I previously attempted to get rid of the dummy for dd as she used to wake several times a night and needed it putting back in but I wasnt strong enough and kept giving in and giving it back.

dd is now 9 mths and sleeps through most nights and even if she stirs for the dummy she has 2 in her cot 1 attached to her bedtime bear and 1 tie to a muslin which she easily finds herself, she seems happy with this and am now glad I didnt take away her dummy as its such a comfort to her.

Sure I will probably change my mind when she is 2-3yr old and still wanting it but will deal with that when I need to!

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becksmummy · 02/04/2007 20:11

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Elsie123 · 02/04/2007 22:07

Hi All - I hope I haven't come across as anti dummy - that was not my intention. My DS has had great comfort from it, he was a reflux baby and I'm sure it saved our sanity. I think our reason for attempting to ditch it now was firstly opportunity - he really did not want it at all when he was unwell, and also, its role was becoming unclear - he does not seem to get the comfort that katewilson and becksmummy describe - he would just take it out and shout/cry/do whatever anyway, so I figured - lets give it a whirl without. I did offer it to him the other day in desperation, but he threw it at me! I think Pibble might be onto something here tho - he does not move a lot yet - isn't crawling or anything, and I now wonder if he just isn't tired.. Tonight and last night went well with his usual bedtime routine, and usually this works for naps as well, so might just see how he goes over the next few days. He does seem happy enough without it the rest of the time now.. Apologies for long post, and apologies again if I have appeared anti dummies - not my intention at all!

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Elsie123 · 02/04/2007 22:08