advice on routine for my 6wk old!

[cathcart]

Hi there. I was wondering if anyone can offer their advice... I've been letting my newborn lead the way so far in the hope that she will demonstrate a vague routine of her own. Is it still too early to expect her to get into a good sleeping and feeding routine? Both have been fairly random so far although she generally goes to sleep around 11-12 pm, waking every 2/3 hours for a feed before waking for the next day at 10/11am. The rest of the day can be anyones guess and the main problem is preparing her for bed in the evening as she becomes very clingy and discontented - she seems to want feeding so i try and she falls asleep after a few minutes, i take her off and she gets upset. This can go on for 3 hours, It can take ages just to give her a full feed because she is stopping and starting so often. I have been giving her a bath or a massage, which she loves, before feeding her around 8pm. It is also getting harder to put her down into her cot as she cries and if she is asleep she wakes up and cries, if I pick her up she relaxes and begins to nod off again. I have tried leaving her but she just worked herself up into a state. Can somebody give me a run down on some of the techniques they have had success with, and your thoughts on routines for babies of this age! thanks

[purpleturtle]

IME babies begin to settle into a routine at about 12 weeks, so I do think you might be expecting a bit much at this stage.

Do you swaddle her when you put her down? I didn't need to swaddle dd or ds1, but it was a lifesaver with ds2!

[cathcart]

thanks Psychobabble and purpleturtle, I do feel that it is a lot to expect - she is still so new! It is just that all I hear from people is routine this, routine that - my head is full of so many different things about what well-meaning friends and relatives think is best and what isn't. It is very reasuring to read your comments!
I havn't tried swaddling but will bear that in mind, she did seem to be a bit more settled in a gro bag though. Did you just use a cot sheet to swaddle or a blanket?

[Plibble]

I can second the swaddling advice. You can buy wraps with velcro (easy to do up in the middle of the night) from lots of online shops - I expect the grobag people probably do them, so, I think, do Blooming Marvellous. Alternatively a sheet or a thin cotton blanket with a bit of give will do.

The evening thing (constant feeding, but acting very cross) with my daughter was a combination of her wanting to tank up for the night and having some colicky pain from feeding at funny intervals through the day. I think that also because she was tired she wanted to suck. I tried to make sure that her feeds were at 2.5/3 hour intervals through the day to reduce the chance of her having tummy ache and I seem to recall that helping.

If you fancy reading a book, I can recommend the Babywhisperer one, which can help you put some structure into your day and was a godsend for me at around 6 weeks when I was waiting for it all to get easier...

[Plibble]

Also, if it is any help, your DD sounds absolutely standard issue for a 6 week old!

[cathcart]

Thanks Plibble, I had been thinking about that Baby Whisperer book after seeing it mentioned a few times, it seems a little gentler than some of the other guides that are popular! I've just managed to get her down without a fuss so I'm gonna hit the sack before she wakes up again!

[taylormama]

no routine needed IMHO - just learn your baby's cues and follow them. I find that getting into certain good habits at this time is useful, so nightime is dark and boring, and daytime is light and bright and exciting. A bed and bath routine is good so stick with it ... also swaddling is fab, and maybe a mobile for the nightime sleep so your LO begins to associate the musical mobile going on with going to sleep for the night

[cruisemum1]

i wouldn't even bother stressing over a routine yet. Plenty of time for that later

[MegBusset]

Cathcart I have wondered about this with my 3-week-old DS, his pattern so far sounds very similar to your baby's, except he goes to sleep at 11-12 but most mornings wakes up at 7.30, with one or two feeds in the night. I started worrying when my friend told me about her 6wk boy who already has a 7pm til 7am bedtime routine. But I figure that we're lucky to be getting any sleep at all at this stage! Don't think I'll worry too much about more of a routine til 12 weeks or so.

[purpleturtle]

MegB, you might find that if you push your friend a little, she'll admit to being up to her baby 2 or 3 times a night. Over the years I've learned that people develop all sorts of different definitions of 'sleeping through'.

You sound like you've got a reasonable pattern going already.

[fluffyanimal]

Hi, this also sounds a lot like my ds when he was tiny, all quite normal! Can second the Baby Whisperer book, her routine is quite loose but still helps you to find a pattern to the day.

[cathcart]

Thanks for all your words of wisdom - I feel a lot more relaxed about the whole thing now and will let time tell! DD only woke twice between midnight and 9am today so I'm feeling fab and refreshed!

[purpleturtle]

How lovely! Glad we've helped.

[rabster]

This is exactly what my Ds (now 8 weeks) was doing... I found that helping him into some kind of routine was really useful, I couldn't let hime dictate my whole day, it was too tiring. He now sleeps 7pm - 11pm (the feed of EBM), then through til 6 /7 am with 1 or 2 feeds inbetween (on a good night). In the day he feeds roughly 9.30/10, 12.30/1, 3.30, 5.30. 7.30, give or take a bit. Sometimes he feeds 2 1/2 hourly, sometimes 3 hourly, i let him decide. Obviously it is a flexible routine, but it helps me to have some kind of day! things are slowly getting better - these are the techniques I used:

He is fussy about 5pm - 7pm (give or take an hour), so I now feed him at 3.30, 5.30 and 7.30 - these 2 hour stints between feeds help him tank up and sleep longer in the evening, and reduce the fussing.

He used to do the whole hour long feed thing, but I worked out that he only wanted to suck, not to feed so at these times I offered a dummy instead. Felt really bad, but it works.

He woke up when we put him down, so I ALWAYS wake him up to burp him - this was the main reason he disliked being flat on his back. I also started putting him down (in his bouncy chair at first, as he refused to be flat!) very slightly awake so he can get himself off to sleep. Persevere with this, it is hard work (and I never let him cry it out), but now he is beginning to put himself to sleep without needing to be held, even in his carrycot a couple of times.

And I use Tracy Hogg (Baby Whisperer / EASY) structure of eat, activity, sleep.

Typically today will proabably go pear shaped as he woke extra early and is now asleep too soon to take him through to 9.30. I will probably take him out if he wakes too early, to distract him and get him back to the right timing.

[rabster]

Oh yeah, and I ALWAYS swaddle at night time (7pm+) or if he is being really fussy.

[3sEnough]

Too early - I tried and tried with ds and dd1 and by dd2 gave up - much easier, relaxed and lived hour by hour and generally enjoyed. I found that each of mine seemed to 'wake up' at 10 weeks and calmed down then. Oh the joys of little babies!

[gingerninja]

I agree with everyone else, they do get themselves into a routine about 12/ 13 weeks (then change it at 14 weeks then back into a routine.... get the drift. Don't try and impose a 'routine' it'll just stress you beyond belief. If there are things you need to do in the day try and fit them in around the baby but in my experience, following strict routines is more restricting and dictating than the baby just wanting to be held and fed. Get a good sling and just get on with your day. good luck