Would it be wrong to put a lock on the outside of my kids room to keep him in?

[TheBlonde]

I'm having a toddler sleeping nightmare and he just won't self settle in bed
Even staying with him doesn't ensure success

Unfortunately he can open the door and escape from his room
I'm thinking of putting a lock on it to prevent this

Opinions?

[eviletc]

would a stairgate work?

[CAM]

Please don't

[percypig]

My friend got a bungee cord and attached it from outside of her son's door handle to another door. This stopped him getting out but wasn't as permanent as a lock.

[funnypeculiar]

I wouldn't personally.
Could you use a stairgate instead?

[ScummyMummy]

Have you tried that rapid return thing?

[Gobbledigook]

Hmm, I don't think I would. He might feel scared with the door locked shut. Could you not put a stair gate on for a while? I think we did this with ds1 but we only needed to use it for a short time before he got used to just staying in bed.

[ScummyMummy]

Or a stair gate, as others have said?

[TheBlonde]

There is a stairgate at the top of the stairs but he just stands there and wails

What is this rapid return thing?

[Greensleeves]

Hmm, I can see why you would want to, but how would you like to be locked in at night? What if he has a really traumatic night terror and it doesn't wake you up? I wouldn't. It might be worth putting outside locks on other doors like the bathroom, and a stairgate at the top of the stairs? I don't know what your house is like, but I don't like the idea of my toddler wandering around on his own either so I've got a stairgate on the top landing.

[Greensleeves]

Oh, sorry, you've got a stairgate

[hillary]

So dangerous, we all feel like locking the little tigers in sometimes but you cant .. what if there was a fire?

My dd comes out of her room too so I put a stair gate up. worked like magic.

[hillary]

cant you just make sure the rest of the house is child friendly?

[TheBlonde]

Sorry I just don't get the fire issue - I'm talking a bolt like on a bathroom not something with a key

[littlerach]

I couldn't do this in case of a fire or other emergency when they couldn't get out o fhteir rooms. too scarey.

[colditz]

Do you mean at night before he goes to bed?

Stand and hold the door shut if you want him to settle without your being there. Does he want a night light? Does he have books in bed?

[redbracelet]

Yes its very wrong, try za stairgate on the bedroom door or put him back in a cot if its causing that much stress

[Boco]

My neice has a really awful fear of being in a room with a closed door since being locked in ONCE. She goes crazy when a door is closed, like real claustrophobia. I think it can be scary, and it'd be better to find another way of getting him to stay in his room.

With rapid return, you just take him by the hand and put him in bed, without making eye contact or engaging him in conversation. You cover him up, and leave. You do it as many times as it takes until he's asleep - could be 100 times. The next night you do the same - and the next. It can be slow, but he learns that the same thing happens each time, with no different reaction from you - and eventually getting up is too boring...or something like that

[DimpledThighs]

don't do it.

it seems so wrong.

[zippitippitoes]

if you lock him up he will stand next to the door and wail he'll just be in a different place

[hillary]

You cant bolt a toddler in a room, in a fire all doors get hot and you wouldnt even be able to open a metal bolt.

[TheBlonde]

It's not possible to fit a stairgate on the door unfortunately

Boco - Thanks for the rapid return explanation. Will try it

Going back to a cot isn't an option as the new baby is due any day

[redbracelet]

what if you forget to unlock it? or go to bed leaving it locked for whatever reason? Theres a fire and the bolt gets stuck.......

Or, you can hear choking over the monitor or through the door or whatever,the extra 2/3 seconds it will take you to unlock the bolt could make all the difference.

[LadyTophamHatt]

take the handle off the door and swap them around so that you have to push it up to open the dooor.

make sure he doesn't see you doing it and hopfully he'll give up trying.



I wouldn't put a lock on it.

[ScummyMummy]

It's a technique that the Little Angels programme uses. Basically you have a nice windy downy bed time routine- bath, story etc. Then you tuck him in with fanfare- kiss "night night gorgeous boy" etc. When he gets up take him back and say "night night bedtime". Tuck in. Next time just say "bedtime" and return him to bed. Then everytime he gets up subsequently, calmly return him to bed without saying anything, and ignoring any sqwarking/talking/crying. (The reasoning is that this is bad tantrummy behaviour and you ignore it as you would any other bad tantrummy behaviour and don't get distracted just bacause it happens to show itself at bedtime.) He will need to be returned to bed a LOT of times the first night and perhaps the 2nd and 3rd- allow at least a few hours, psych yourelf up to be super calm and preferably get someone to help you- but if you can stay calm and see it through it really seems to yield dramatic results.