Please help, at wits end!

(7 Posts)
MrsHooper16 Mon 28-Nov-16 08:19:11

My son is coming up to 10 months old now and he's yet to sleep through. We have a bed time routine of tea, bath, pj's on, snuggle time with teletubbies on then bottle and bed which can be any time in between 6:30 and 7pm. He's wide awake at about 1am for a couple of hours then we co sleep until he wakes around 4:30am. My dh and I are beginning to argue which is bothering me. I just don't know what to do any more. I tried cc but after 3 month's I gave up. Please help me before I become a sleep deprived single parent!

Bibs2014 Mon 28-Nov-16 08:21:38

Around 11 months DS started getting up ridiculously early. Got some great advice to drop the stretch out the morning nap so it's later in the morning - it sorted him out in 4 days!!

What time is his morning nap?

MrsHooper16 Mon 28-Nov-16 11:34:34

He normally has his breakfast then has a nap about 7:45 for half an hour but then I have to wake him so I can go to work then he has an hour about 1-2 then that's it until bed time. I find that even though I encourage him to nap he fights his sleep more and as he gets older.

rebeccaroskellthomas Mon 28-Nov-16 11:41:26

How does he fall asleep?

OohNoDooEy Mon 28-Nov-16 11:44:40

The morning nap is too early. At 10 months I would put down to nap at 10am and 2.30pm.

Put the bedtime bottle a bit earlier in the routine and brush his teeth after.

When he wakes at nighttime, do not pick him up just settle him in the cot.

FATEdestiny Mon 28-Nov-16 11:50:02

Who's doing daytime naps if you are at work?

Because it's daytime naps and settling techniques that will sort this. It therefore needs consustancy between what happens with you and what happens during the day.

Firstly - establish loads of ways for baby to access comfort independantly (ie himself). So this might be dummy, snuggle toy, special blanket, ritualistic action (parting his stomach for example). Give hom loads. He needs lots and lots of comfort.

He's also likely to need adult comfort for a while yet, to establish trust that he'll always be comforted. But I'd do this with baby in cot and carer (whoever that is) sitting next to cot. Plenty of eye contact, care, reassurance,patting shushing, reassuring form hand on chest. Constantly lying back down and keeping hin still.

A mantra helps for routine. "Sleep time now. Lie down quietly for sleep time" or whatever.

You should be able to withdraw that parental comfort over time and replace with independant comfort. But it needs establishing first to develop healthy sleep habits.

Then your daytime.

4.30am is too early to start the day. It's going to take some hassle to change it though.

Keep baby awake until 9am if possible (this fits with a more reasonable 6.30-7am wake time. Then try to resettle quickly when first stirribg awake. Cot nap, same as described above.

Next nap after about 2h awake time and same again. Depending on the length of these 2 naps, a third nap may be needed after 2 hours awake time again. Aim for either 9-10, 12-1, 3-4 naps or 9am-11am, 1/2pm-4pm naps.

MrsHooper16 Mon 28-Nov-16 16:56:18

He's with my grandparents when I'm at work which is 3 times a week. I feel like it's a bit of separation anxiety because by the time Saturday afternoon comes when I finish he won't let me leave his side. He won't go to his dad or nannan or anyone apart from me

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