waking more frequently at 7.5 months

[Leicfox1]

Just looking for reasons/suggestions for, and tips on coping with my 7.5 months old waking nearly every hour at night. His sleep has gotten slowly worse since 6 months and I'm going back to work next week. DH is helpin at nights but think t hat he is putting the baby down 'wrong' after rocking him to sleep and holding for 20 minutes until deep sleep. (Please don't suggest putting him down drowsy but awake. I obsessed over this for months at HV insistence and my pnd, it just won't happen. He's a stubborn little thing)

It feels like it's gone on too long to be a growth spurt or developmental. He rolls but has no interest in crawling yet. It's not every hour every night, but it's 3-7 wakings a night, and most of the time he needs to be rocked and held for 20 minutes. If he wakes when we put him in the cot we have to start again (often happens), sO each waking can rob me or dh of an hour of our sleep.

We didn't have a 4 month regression - is this a later regression? He's ff, gets fed afte 4 am because that's when it seems to be hunger rather than waking for the sake of it.

Just wondering why he's struggling to transition into the next sleep cycle now when he was fine before, and if we can help him. And also stressing about how to cope with it when I'm working. Thanks!

[andonwego]

There is a regression at 8 months - you'll find loads about it if you google it! Also, on this site many, many people on the sleep thread start posts complaining about how bad sleep has got at around this age. It's tied to massive developmental leaps - the disruption can go on for ages.

I get through these stages by letting her breastfeed as she wants throughout the night - we co sleep so it can be done with little to no disruption to me. I get that that way of doing things is not for everyone, though .. .

[Lweji]

Babies can be unsettled before each development stage, not just sleep stage.

You won't like it, but with DS the only thing that worked was putting him down still awake.
He cried his heart out at some point and then immediately fell asleep. Not "letting to cry", as I'd be there and comfort every minute or every two minutes, and progressively longer.
I only later realised that the crying was "normal" when DS was tired and wanted to sleep. The best was to let him complain but not mess with his sleep.
So, hold for comfort, then say with a firm and and loving voice that it's time for bed, put down, wait one minute, put hand on the back until he is quiet, then remove it, and repeat until he's asleep.

Is he standing up?
Do you normally get out and get some fresh air?

[Leicfox1]

Thanks for the replies. I was hoping it wasn't the 8 month regression because it started a good few weeks ago (after 6 months), and he was a week early too, so I guess I thought that we still had some time before that. Development wise, he'll stand for a few minutes at a time, rolls mostly to his front but can go back if he forgets about that time he hit his head, doesn't really make any attempt to crawl. We go put 1-2 times a day, at least one of those is for a long walk in fresh air. We'll keep going for a little longer, then try your suggestion lweji, thanks

[FATEdestiny]

Your ability to teach baby to sleep in his cot (which has got to happen at some point unless you choose to cosleep long term) will be significantly harder once baby can pull to standing.

Try to sort it before then or the job will be a lot, lot, LOT harder.

[Lweji]

I don't know about regression, I'd say more a transition stage.
It sounds like your baby is learning new things and that can affect sleep, IME.
From my experience with DS, he needs to be put in bed alone in the evening. Then he will wake up less in the night.

It was funny, in a way, when DS woke up in the night to pee in the toilet and he cried all the way there and back, then went straight to sleep. He was just grumpy that he couldn't sleep!

Maybe your baby needs a slightly earlier bed time and to be put to bed before he's tired and grumpy?

[lilyb84]

Sending sympathy - my ds is nearly 10 months and his sleep has been progressively worse since 3 months, but the 7/8/9/whatever regression is the hardest thing I've had to deal with so far (and this is a baby who was already waking every 1-2 hours!). I went back to work a month ago and I'm finding that while I am of course tired, I need a different type of energy to get through the day than I did when on mat leave. Maybe it's just adrenaline but bar the odd falling-asleep-in-a-meeting moment I haven't found it too hard to adjust despite the sleep deprivation. I'm finding that co-sleeping helps massively - although it's much more disruptive to my DH so we've had to start mixing up and taking turns sleeping in the lounge so he gets some sleep occasionally too! No advice really but I think you just have to keep reminding yourself it's just a phase and do what you can to get through each day and night.

[Leicfox1]

Sorry for the late response, return to work has been hectic, relationship with dh is strained, lo had cold and was teething, then fighting naps....

Argh. I just don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm posting. Sleep's gotten worse, though improved a little now that the cold has passed, Dh and I are just...Two people who happen to live on the same house at the moment and skeep in dofferer rooms. I should probably be back on antidepressants. It's all just a bit shite at the moment. And this isn't just about sleep anymore, so I'll shut up now. Anyway, thanks for the responses.

[lilyb84]

It's so so tough. We're in a similar situation. Lots of arguments and I'm struggling to feel anything but irritation with my DH; meanwhile he feels left out (although I keep pointing out he's not missing much, since I spend most of my evenings trying to feed our ds to sleep in a dark room without a phone or book while he watches films...!). We're taking the day off tomorrow together while ds is at the childminder (cue LOTS of mummy guilt) as it'll be the first time we've had ANY time alone together in 10 months - when you have a non-sleeper, you don't even get a couple of hours in the evening and it really takes its toll.

Can you get someone to babysit while you have a bit of time to reconnect? Better still, put something in the diary regularly, even if it's just an hour or two, so you have some time to remember that you have a relationship beyond your baby?

I don't know yet if tomorrow will descend into arguments or be a lovely day spent together, fingers crossed for the latter, but I know it's been something to look forward to.

Go back on antidepressants if you need them! Whatever you can do to make life better. And keep repeating it's just a phase.

[Leicfox1]

Thank you lilyb84, I hope your day went well

[almmummy]

This is so familiar, my DS was pretty good up until two weeks ago, sleeping a few hours at a time and sometimes self settling at bedtime, after feeds and in the day. Now he is a mess! Up nearly every sleep cycle, every 1.5 hours, sometimes up for two hours in the night, he's just started waking again when we've rocked him off and popped him in the cot which is super annoying. Watching with interest for any tips or ideas of if/when it will pass!!

[almmummy]

He's 7.5 months as well, should have said. Can imagine the worry about going back to work, I hate the tiredness combined with a toddler and I don't have to do anything much other than survive the day x

[almmummy]

Out of interest, are you toying with co-sleeping? I can't decide if it will help or not, desperate for sleep but aware it might create a habit that is hard to break. But if we all sleep...

[Leicfox1]

Co-sleeping won't work for us, he wants to be held. Lying down on the bed next to us isn't good enough for him unfortunately. When he was little we resorted to letting him sleep on our chests while we lay down, but he's far too big and heavy for that now.

It's become a little better the past few days, but he was still up for an hour after midnight last night and difficult to get back to sleep, and Thursday he was up every 90 minutes. I just don't have the energy to try and get him to settle in the cot at the moment, but we will probably aim to tackle it over Christmas when we're both home for a few days. Good luck x

[almmummy]

It sounds like we have the same baby! Ditto here though we had a better night last night with one three hour stretch and nearly 2.5 another time. Amazing what seems like a treat!

I've settled him back with the dummy as per another poster's suggestion which was refreshing, a couple of times I did not get him out the cot at all. Maybe worth a go?

[Leicfox1]

Yes, we always try just popping the dummy back first. It often works during the first part of the night but not the rest, after midnight ish. Since 5 months he's had this habit of taking the dummy out of his mouth and playing with it, putting in again at different angles, taking it out and so on. So if he's too awake, then leaving him in the cot with the dummy just turns into a game, until he gets bored and throws it out between the bars and starts screaming to be picked up again. He's starting to get interested in his comfort blanket again, so that may be a better option for us, or to use with several dummies at hand

[Squaffle]

He sounds exactly like DD who is the same age! She has gone from pretty much sleeping through with no 4 month regression, to waking every night up 4-5 times. Same dummy issues as you too. She has always been cuddled to sleep and we were doing this when she woke at night until Friday when she woke up every time we put her in her cot... we didn't know what to do and I was seriously close to losing my shit, so we just left her and it worked! Did the same last night and ditto (after a good hour of chatting to herself). I put all her dummies in her cot so that she's got a good chance of being able to find one, and she also has a bunny which she is showing more interest in. I found it pretty hard but I think she's showing us that she's capable and ready, and I had got to the stage where I thought it would never happen... so maybe give it a try? I hope things get better for you really soon xxx

[firsttimemum15]

We had a sleep regression at 5 mo awful wakong every 20mins to 1hr. Posts on here somewhere.

Felt frustrated that i couldnr get my baby to do what others were or even to sleep.in cot.

I made peace with co sleeping, putting baby in cot when i could.

Ive bought a sleepyhead and its helped.

My baby would not be hushed or patted back to sleep.

Gradually i have got to the stage where i can lie on the floor on a makeshift bed when she wakes and feed and settle her in a sleepyhead and then get my other half to lift that bk into cot.

She now sleeps longer stretches but still not big long stretches like others but enough to get by and for me to have spme tome.on my own.


Its so hard. I cant recommend anything. Some posters on here were v supportive i found it comforting knowing i wasnt the only one.

I wpuld say however. Find what works for you and dont drive yourself mad if it isnt whats recommended. Make peace woth yourself and youll be happier.

[FATEdestiny]

until he gets bored and throws it [the dummy] out between the bars and starts screaming to be picked up again

So you need to stop him throwing it out.

Sew a ribbon on the chest of the sleeping bag, press stud at the end and attach the dummy.

If baby is awake enough to be messing around, if just switch the monitor down to low and leave hin to it. Ignore him. He can't throw the dummy out so once he's gad enough he has the dummy right there to go back to sleep with.

Being left to alone in the cot, non-distressed, is no bad thing.