At the end of my tether with 7 month old

[Abbottscat]

I think I just need to vent about this situation but if anyone has any helpful advice, please do. I'm so worked up over my son's sleep that it's making me wish my maternity leave would just hurry up and finish so I can go back to work and at least then I wouldn't have to deal with him in the day. I feel horrible saying that because I do love him but I'm just so fed up. I spend all day obsessively reading about sleep but just don't know what to do.

He goes to sleep around 6.45pm - he cries when you get him ready for bed but goes down OKish. He wakes up 3 hours later crying and won't settle unless I feed him. He then manages another 3 hours when I feed him but then after that is up every 40-60 minutes, that's if we manage to put him down. Sometimes we're just left pacing the house holding him. Around 5 I give in and bring him in with me and feed him back to sleep, but then when he wakes around 7.30 he's not really hungry for his morning feed.

He used to nap for 1.5hr in the morning but now I can't settle him for that either. It just took me an hour and he'll almost definitely wake up after 30 minutes, grumpy because he's tired. I know I need to be consistent to help him get to sleep but I'm not sure what to be consistent with. If I put him down, he screams himself hysterical. If I pick him up he fusses and flings himself around. Eventually after a few cycles of this he'll fall asleep in my arms but it's exhausting. My back is throbbing, I'm fed up, I can't be bothered to do anything, my husband is shattered. I just don't know what to do.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

Aw poor you. It all sounds so familiar. This is exactly where we were at when ds was 7 months. Is it possible that he's getting too much sleep during the day? Is he breast fed?

[ThatStewie]

Is he ready for one longer nap in the afternoon rather than two? I'd also push back bedtime to 8ish with a dream feed just before you go to bed and see how that works.

[Abbottscat]

He's definitely not getting too much sleep! I'm getting about three half hour naps out of him at the moment. Exclusively bf, with some bits of solids at mealtimes.

I don't know how we'd even go about moving bedtime, he's shattered by then! He already wakes for a feed just as I'm going to bed.

[ElspethFlashman]

I would introduce a dummy. One of the 6 month + ones. It was around 7 months when I had to introduce one with DS, as I wanted to break the "feeding back to sleep" cycle. It did work.

I also pinned it onto the front of the gro bag. The day he learnt to find it and pop it back in when he woke was one of the best days of my life (only slight exaggeration).

[Abbottscat]

Thanks! He does have a dummy and it definitely helps him to settle. He's using the same one he's had since early on so maybe need to get some 6 month+. It's just so frustrating, he turns his head away and won't take it and then when you wrestle it in he calms down! I don't understand how he can sleep 3 hours early evening and then progressively wake more often :(

[Abbottscat]

We've also got a sleepytot which he gropes for if he's awake and wants a dummy for comfort but can't seem to find in the night...yet!

[Sparrowlegs248]

Have you tried cosleeping? It's been a life saver for me. Ds goes in his cot at bedtime, used to wake up after 2-3 hours. He's now 15 months and more often than not will sleep til 2-3 then he comes in bed for a feed. I can put him back then til wake up time, but actually rarely do, mostly because I'm.pregnant and exhausted!

I didn't plan to Co sleep, but it works for us.

Also, have you tried the pram for naps?

[LapinR0se]

It sounds like he's filling up on milk at night, not sleeping properly in the day and not eating solids well. So basically a set of habits which are hard to break but it can be done.
Have you tried anything to avoid feeding to sleep and night feeds?

[Coconut0il]

Personally I would co sleep and if he sleeps better let him nap on your lap. That's what I've done with my DS2. He always sleeps longer that way. Can't get anything done but DS2 is much happier that way and we all sleep more at night.

[vichill]

This is pretty standard bfing behaviour for a 7 month old and personally I think its too early to try and alter anything with solids and refusing him night feeds.
My only advice is to co-sleep. The pacing the house could be replaced with a flopped out boob to feed on your side as you both stay half asleep.

[Abbottscat]

Thanks for all the sympathetic advice. It makes a nice change to the HV just telling me to put him down awake. We do cosleep sometimes, I just end up feeling so achey. I know it's probably not the right thing to feel but I just want to sleep on my own! And I want to help him have a more settled night. I wouldn't mind if he was genuinely waking hungry, the way he used to - I could just get up, feed him, settle him back down and go back to bed. It's the long waking periods where he clearly just wants to go back to sleep. So frustrating and miserable in the middle of the night.

[golfmonkey]

You could be me OP!! I was just coming on here to create a thread but sounds like you are in the exact same situation as me - almost 7 months, self settles at bedtime with a dummy, then wakes after 3hrs and then every 1-2 hours ...wrestles dummy out, won't settle without boob.

I get dd2 in bed with me at some point after 2 am - DH hates it but I do feel a lot better if I don't have to keep getting out of bed. Thankfully dd1 has started waking up at 6.30 this last week rat her than her usual 5.15am start, so that's made me feel more human.

I hope someone has practical advice...I'm hoping to ride it out until dd2 can find and reinsert her own dummy, it just seems like she is determined to be picked up and cuddled/fed by me (no one else) when she wakes. So I am not sure it will get better even then. Maybe when she starts crawling? Walking? School? Argh!!!

She has 3x 40 min naps during the day. It seems she is very strong willed in general. I am not going to breastfeed past 1 year, and she will have to be on formula in the day by 9 months.

Sorry to hijack the thread!! I really dont know what to do or have any suggestions for you OP. ALL the advice re sleep is about getting them to self settle at bedtime. DD2 does with a dummy....I don't think I could face trying to get rid of it. I have an almost 2 year old as well so no rest in the day. Roll on the end of mat leave as you say

[Abbottscat]

Sorry to hear you're having a nightmare time of it as well Golfmonkey We had longer stint last night (12-3) when I persevered and settled in his cot with his dummy but right now it does all feel like the sleep deprivation will never end. Good luck!