What is going on here?

(30 Posts)
HaroldLovesMaude Mon 26-Sep-16 06:39:15

My 12mo girl has recently started waking in the night for between 1-3 hours and she is close to breaking me.

I think she's waking as she's hungry but I can't get her to increase her food intake in the day. Also she sometimes has two bottles in that wakeful period and even that doesn't settle her. She seems wide awake and very unsure of what she wants: she wriggles and squirms if I hold her but cries to be picked up if I put her down.

Up until around a week ago she was sleeping from 6:30-4am, a little hug or pat when she woke and then would sleep again until 6am. That was a dream. Will she ever go back to anything close to that again? What am I doing wrong?

She naps from 10:30-12 in the day.

thenewaveragebear1983 Mon 26-Sep-16 06:47:02

I could have written your post! Ds is one this week and for the last 3 weeks has been awake in the night for up to 2 hours. It's killing me. The night wake ups aren't the problem it's the fact he is wide awake and ready to play.
Last night he fell asleep in the car on the way home from family visiting, so he went to bed without milk at 7. Starting stirring at midnight so I gave him milk then, he then slept til 4.30, eventually I gave up and got up at 5. He's now really grumpy, miserable and tired, and I can't really put him down for another hours sleep because everyone will be getting up and disturbing him. So I need to endure Groucho until a reasonable nap time, not too early or he'll be grumpy all afternoon too. He's really hard work at the moment, seems unhappy and tired all the time. I'm really hoping it's just a phase because I can't keep spending the days and nights like this, I'm so tired!
Sorry op, that is no rip whatsoever except to let you know you're not alone!

Luckystar1 Mon 26-Sep-16 06:55:34

I remember my DS doing this too, it was hideous. I used to bring him downstairs and settle us on the sofa (we have a big corner one) and put the radio on to classic fm. He was in the 'corner' bit of the sofa so we just relaxed and fell back to sleep. It was last December time as Classic played beautiful Christmas music, it was quite beautiful (if I hadn't been so tired, in the first trimester of a new pregnancy and with horrible morning sickness!)

It will get better (I find I say that a lot...)

HaroldLovesMaude Mon 26-Sep-16 07:24:40

Hello newaveragebear! Sorry you're going through this too. I must say it is strangely helpful hearing that you are though - I was starting to worry I had a dud!

It's the playfulness / complete refusal to acknowledge nighttime that is getting to me too. It's unbearable. Our day times sounds similar as well. I've started looking forward to going to work which is horrible and makes me dislike myself sad Congrats on your boy turning one this week btw - hope you have a good time celebrating!

Thanks for the vote of confidence luckystar. I have tried things like classical music etc etc etc but she is having none of it. Can you remember how long your phase lasted? Clutching at straws

Lules Mon 26-Sep-16 08:03:52

Mine did this too. And then it stopped after about 2/3 weeks. I have no idea why. I think it was related to him being unsettled with me going away for work

thenewaveragebear1983 Mon 26-Sep-16 08:06:08

Thanks, I'm not going back to work this time so I'm quietly horrified at the thought of this going on forever.....
My only advice is to keep your daytime routine as strict as possible and eventually it will all sort of slot into place. This is my 3rd Dc and my recollection is that they all have a phase like this. It does end eventually, but it's times like this when the crazy habits that stick sort of get started, like driving round to get them to sleep, and that's when things get a bit bonkers! I agree with pp above, just find a way to be safe and comfortable in the night and don't try to fight it. I am definitely going to try classic fm tonight!

thenewaveragebear1983 Mon 26-Sep-16 08:11:13

And this is him right now..... Sound asleep! Typical!

Gillian1980 Mon 26-Sep-16 09:15:59

My daughter went through similar at 12 months and I still have no idea why. But it lasted a couple of weeks and then stopped as suddenly as it had started. She's 13.5 months and has been sleeping through again since this weird blip. Fingers crossed for you that it doesn't last long!

HaroldLovesMaude Mon 26-Sep-16 11:44:43

I am so encouraged by everyone saying theirs did it and it just stopped - thank you!

And to be fair, she is still really good in the day and is sleeping for her hour and a half in her cot with no probs. Fingers crossed for us!

Newaverage - thank you for the advice. I have a friend who has to drive her son every day for the morning nap...no way do I want to be doing that! I'm going to try and relax a bit more and go with the flow tonight: just get safe and snuggled down I guess. Thank you. And your boy is absolutely gorgeous! What a sweetie!

HaroldLovesMaude Tue 27-Sep-16 01:37:48

So much for going with the flow. I am losing my mind here and it's only been an hour and a half so far. Not sure I can take much more sad

HaroldLovesMaude Tue 27-Sep-16 02:36:06

Should anybody come back to this thread tomorrow, or indeed see it now <hopeful>, I just wondered if maybe she's getting too much sleep in the day? An hour and a half seems pretty reasonable to me for a 12 month old but maybe not? Should I start waking her in the day?

thenewaveragebear1983 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:21:06

I reckon 1.5 hours is about right, my older ds had 2 hours up to the age of 2.5! My current baby ds has about 1.5 hours, he's 12 months. Either a short cat nap and s longer sleep, or one long sleep. He actually sleeps worse if he doesn't have it.

HaroldLovesMaude Tue 27-Sep-16 15:07:31

Thanks for replying newaveragebear. That was my instinct - not to change things in the day.

Last night was just awful. I really hope this phase ends soon.

VelvetThunder Tue 27-Sep-16 15:25:51

I remember my son doing this, it was around the same age when he started walking. We coslept and he used to slide out of the bed and go for a wamder into the other room and back again before going back to sleep. It wasn't fun. It soon rectified itself though and he went back to sleeping through better.
I wouldn't change the nap either, sounds fine to me. Mine was still having two naps a day at that age. I agree they often tend to sleep better when they've napped better in the day.

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 27-Sep-16 15:38:22

Don't know if it will make a difference but... the length of her nap is fine, but it's too early. If she's down to one nap a day, it should be somewhere between 12 and 2, otherwise it pretty much becomes part of her night sleep which could be why she's having a midnight party, as she knows (subconsciously) she'll be making up for it mid-morning.

Try nudging her nap by 15 minutes or so each day until you can get it starting at 12 maybe?

HaroldLovesMaude Tue 27-Sep-16 18:26:27

Thank you for that thought - it's certainly worth a try. It was working for a short

HaroldLovesMaude Tue 27-Sep-16 18:27:14

Whoops! ...a short time but not long so that maybe a good call. Thank you.

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 27-Sep-16 20:28:43

The early nap would also mean she's probably over-tired by bedtime and/or she needs an earlier bedtime than would otherwise be expected. Either/both of these issues would make staying asleep harder for her.

Batteriesallgone Tue 27-Sep-16 20:30:23

Teeth?

Bet it's teeth. Poor mite.

HaroldLovesMaude Tue 27-Sep-16 21:25:17

She doesn't seem overtired but it's a possibility. She is definitely teething but can't see any sign of the culprits yet. I am at work all week now but will try and advise for nap to be nudged later. Fingers crossed!

HaroldLovesMaude Mon 03-Oct-16 04:03:05

Me again. Wondering if anybody is about?

Nap time has been successfully moved, as someone suggested - she is now going between 12 and 12:30 and sleeps for an hour and a half, without fail.

She goes to sleep at 6:30 but continues to wake at around 2-2:30. I've tried feeding her straight off and it doesn't settle her so tonight I tried water which seemed to help but she wouldn't go back to sleep. In the end, around 20 minutes ago, I gave her milk and now she's asleep. It makes me think I should have just given it at 2 when she woke. But then I don't want her to start waking for the milk!

I am absolutely on the edge. This has been the longest stretch of "a phase" and I feel like I want to just give up.

Any advice or thoughts?

Sierra259 Mon 03-Oct-16 04:14:11

My DC1 did the same around 13-14 months. It was around the time I went back to work, and she was just starting to walk. She never settled well in our bed, so we put a camping mattress on the floor of her room, with pillows and duvet, and would just lie next to the cot bed. She basically just wanted us close and lay there with us occasionally shhhh-ing but mostly completely ignoring her as she wasn't distressed. Often we would doze off in there, so at least we were getting some sleep or were warm and comfortable!

We did the same re: using milk as a last resort. It helped me to know I had that to fall back on if all else failed. It's so hard but it doesn't last forever. Hope things improve soon flowers

thenewaveragebear1983 Mon 03-Oct-16 10:11:02

Sounds strange, but what about a bit of water instead? I'm convinced my ds wakes thirsty sometimes as he doesn't drink much except milk during the day. We're going to try this week giving water in his bottle instead of milk. The theory being that an ounce of water might send him back off to sleep, but we're finding his night time milk fest is affecting his eating the next day (no wonder- 8oz milk is like us waking up at 2 and tucking into a half pound steak!!)

HaroldLovesMaude Mon 03-Oct-16 12:11:18

Thank you both. It really feels like it's never going to end at the moment!

Yes, we tried water last night and she did settle and doze off but then woke about 10 minutes later absolutely screaming her head off. I relented, gave milk and put her in with me in the end. I too think how much milk she was having in the night was affecting her appetite in the day.

It's so so hard isn't it? I have no clue what to do next.

HaroldLovesMaude Mon 03-Oct-16 12:18:39

Thank you both. It really feels like it's never going to end at the moment!

Yes, we tried water last night and she did settle and doze off but then woke about 10 minutes later absolutely screaming her head off. I relented, gave milk and put her in with me in the end. I too think how much milk she was having in the night was affecting her appetite in the day.

It's so so hard isn't it? I have no clue what to do next.

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